To return this cheque?

[MAFIL]

I've received a cheque today from an organisation that I have been embroiled in a legal dispute with for some time. They have finally admitted their fault and compensated me. All good, except the cheque is payable to Mrs MAFIL and, unsurprisingly, given its my name, my bank account is in the name of Dr MAFIL. Now I expect my bank will probably accept it, given it has the correct first name and surname on, but this has really pissed me off. I have been communicating with these people for over a year and on every occasion I have referred to myself as Dr. Nor do I ever recall disclosing my marital status as it is wholly irrelevant to the matter in hand. (I am married as it happens but my husband has a different surname.) The casual sexism really annoys me. As a middle aged woman it is assumed I must be married? And I am not entitled to the courtesy of my professional title?
I am tempted to return the cheque and insist on a new one being issued. But on the other hand, it has been such a battle to get to this point, half of me wants to just bank the money and forget about it. Given their general ineptitude to date, who knows when the new cheque will arrive.
WWYD? Send it back? Shrug it off and bank the cheque? Only complain if the cheque is refused by the bank? Bank it but send a letter complaining? Something else?

If you've that much spare time, then crack on! If they're anything like me and I got that back with a shitty covering letter, I'd be writing the next cheque very slowly. Maybe leave it long enough for you to have to call or write again even.

Oh fuck all the idiots.

YANBU to be annoyed. But put it in the fuck it bucket, cash it, move on. But write am email of complaint.

Pay it in and forget about it (I’m on the middle of a dispute - I envy you reaching the end).
I recently called up a girls school
My daughter had got into but we were not accepting.
I said it was really peculiar that a girls school - that vocally promotes the virtues of female
Only education -
would put mother and father on the acceptance form (instead of parent/guardian) and worst of all put father first! Above
Mother.
I was outraged (single parent) and my female friend who pays the schoolBills in their household and whose daughter was also accepted - was also outraged (why should her husband take primacy?)
The woman I spoke to was so nice about it. I told her that this seemed so casually sexist and so casually accepting of marrid heterosexual famine that it put me off the school.
She sound really embarrassed and said she knew exactly what I meant and she’d talk to the administration about changing it. She didn’t have to do that as we’d already turned down the place
I also harangued comet about Mrs instead of Ms but I can’t say they cared!

Also my ex is one of those mythical Dr creatures approached by an air stewardess over an illness on an airplane - and had to admit he was a doctor of Saxon archeology

Bank it but send an e mail!

“ I also have a bachelors degree but have never and would never use
The term doctor tbh I had no I could I am a teacher so will stick to Miss.”

That’s not a doctorate.

Wow... Ross from friends much 😂😂😂
Just cash it and move on. Surely you just want it to end by now.

It’s not Insure and Go is it OP? They paid a cheque for a travel insurance claim to my TWO year old DS. Well, he was the one that was ill but the doctor’s fees, extra flights home, accommodation were not on his credit card!!! Took them three times to get it right. Nothing to do with sexism. Just bloody incompetence!

I am a Dr (have a doctorate) and I hate it when people refer me as Mrs. It is sexist and disrespectful. Whenever I get referred to as Mrs (they assume I am married - I am, but this is none of their business), I get it corrected saying that they got my name /identity mistaken. Believe me - not all of those are honest mistakes! Given that the cheque was already issued, they should be able to correct the name on it. I’d definitely return it and demand it to be corrected!

@Vanhi I'm with you, the nonsense on this thread is depressing.

OP I really do understand your ire but I'd cash the cheque and try to put it behind me.

Your user name is very apt @DrSK2!

Physician, heal thyself...

just cancel it

1. its annoying, but life's too short to worry.
2. oh my goodness there are a lot of chippy people on here with no clue. A medical doctor is allowed to use the title to distinguish them from surgeons who use Mr/Miss as historically they had an education v being barbers who branched out. All medical doctors have batchelors degrees in medicine and surgery. It is not a doctorate but an honorific in the true sense. Some also have taught/research doctorates. We medical doctors mostly consider those people more highly educated in their field than we are- because they are. OP is completely legitimately using her professional title, as we are all entitled to do by virtue of what we have proven we have acheived academically. She’s not wrong to be peeved at the disrespect shown, although I would question the sanity of posting it here. Perhaps PMGUK would be more Appropriate?

@GabsAlot brilliant and classic mumsnet comment

Cancel the cheque .....

@Underpressure101 can surgeons use Mrs?

If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes on it. Life is too short.

i honesyl thought smeone would have said it by now bikerider!

I "made" myself a Doctor today - I was really pissed off when I was logging into hotel wifi that there was no "Ms" option - and even more irritated there was "Doctor and Mrs" but no "Doctor and Mr", anyway, I refuse to use Miss or Mrs.
Somewhat consoled by a free glass of champagne because they'd messed up on something else.

I do get your point, after you've been in correspondence with them for so long they should get it right, but you already know they're crap - it's really not worth dragging out the ongoing need to have anything to do with them.

Bikerider2020- yes. Not really sure why this is a source of amusement. Surely we should all be supporting successful women to be be recognised as such rather than tearing each other down in such a spiteful way? Just because not everyone has done what op has done in terms of achievement doesn’t mean she’s not entitled to a bit of solidarity from other women here.

@Standingstone77 solidarity means supporting women whatever their choices, not sure what you're saying that I've done wrong?

Was yours a name change fail? Don't understand what you're responding to?

I give people solidarity when I think they’re right. Not when they’re being a tit.

Ah, yes, i was originally underpressure101.
Wasn’t really specifically at you, I’m just a bit peeved at the mumsnetty -ness of it I guess. Am going now!

Bank it and then write and complain that after all the issues they did not have the courtesy to use your correct name.

I just claimed the title of "Queen of the Universe"!
Figurehead only, of course, as I don't want to actually have to do things