As someone who didn’t pass their test until their 30’s I’ve been the person getting the lift.
BUT
I insisted on paying to cover fuel and wear & year on the car, usually more than the driver asked for. NEVER less. Although one woman I had the arrangement with she asked for fuel money only and she didn’t ask for much BUT I was also happy to babysit her dd whenever she needed (we were both army wives and it can be very hard finding a reliable babysitter especially helpful when the men were away).
Said thank you every day for each lift so if they gave me a lift to and from work I thanked them twice a day, may seem a small thing but I’ve found it’s really appreciated.
I said to each driver that if the arrangement ever became too onerous to simply let me know. I just asked that they give me at least 2 days notice so I could make alternative arrangements/check on up to date public transport timetables.
I never asked them to get me from home but I made my way to their home and came home from theirs at the end of the day. It was never far but allowed them a little extra time to get ready and meant they weren’t inconvenienced in that way. If I were early or they were running a little late for whatever reason I was happy to wait in the car and assured them it was no problem. It was rarely an issue, just life getting in the way sometimes.
Kept conversation to light, non work topics and I understood that I didn’t have the right to criticise eg music choices. Actually meant I learned to love some music genres I knew little about beforehand.
I also got them small gifts throughout the year as a token of thanks.
I’ve since passing my test been the one giving lifts which I am more than happy to do IF the lift receiver doesn’t take the piss! Even at uni as a mature student I did a thing where I gave a few of the students a lift to a bigger cheaper supermarket once a week. They were always lovely about it and returned the favour in other ways. A couple babysat for me regularly (but not every week), another did “handyman” type jobs for me when needed and another although he’d no car of his own was good at car stuff and so helped out there.
As pps have said there are many threads like these but they usually come down to the people receiving the lifts
NOT paying their way
NOT appreciating the favour
NOT acknowledging that actually driving takes skill and effort
NOT making the situation as easy as possible for the driver.
I hope you’ve managed to nip your situation in the bud op.
Nobody likes confrontation but it is a life skill and assertiveness is necessary at times, it really should be taught at school.
You’d actually be doing this woman a favour if you were to tell her exactly what the issues were in an assertive but fairly neutral way.
Sometimes it’s youthful entitlement, sometimes it’s lack of social awareness rather than outright cheeky fuckery. But if it is cf then you needn’t worry about offending them cos they tend not to give a fig for others anyway! So hell mend em!
Astounds me how many don’t like walking/cycling to work now too.
In addition to the jobs where I was fortunate to get lifts (but I could have got there by public transport too) there were also jobs that were up to an hours walk each way including manual jobs. Now admittedly this was in my youth when I was fit and healthy, but most people are up to I would say AT LEAST 30 mins walk each way. I did those walks/cycles in all weathers including storms and snow drifts and all sorts. I actually liked the peace and found it meditative. I invested in good weatherproof clothes even if it meant changing into other items at work, had lots of amused/bemused comments about wellies and waterproof trousers! Which one colleague noted they didn’t even know they existed and thought they were a fantastic idea and went out and got not only herself some but some for her kids too. She got bus to work but walked kids to school first and they’d been moaning about the weather.
Spring and summer I loved getting a good walk in the day! Clear the cobwebs.