To think you should carry your child?

[ClaudiaWankleman]

Parents with small children who insist on letting them try to walk up the stairs on the tube/ train/ other busy public areas.

It inevitably creates a tight bottleneck at an area a bottleneck is already going to form. We all have to squeeze into 2/3 of the space while you lead a wobbling toddler up some stairs that are way too advanced for them.

Not only is it horrendously dirty when they sit down on the third step before you heave them back up (always happens) it seems quite dangerous. There is always the chance that someone will accidentally trample them as it’s quite difficult to see in the restricted spaces.

Not least that if I had been able to get up the stairs 15 seconds quicker I would’ve been on my train instead of having to wait for the next one.

AIBU to think that you should carry your child?

I agree, it’s all about awareness of your surroundings and applying common sense. We were in London last Christmas and nearly fell over (along with several other people) a toddler some doting parents were letting bimble around walking on a packed Oxford street, it was ridiculous. Mind these people don’t limit it to toddlers in terms of lack of awareness, they’ll be the same people who stop when they reach the top of a crowded escalator to take a minute to decide which way to go.

I agree when it's toddlers under the age of around 3 who really don't have the awareness and keep dropping diwn, changing direction, stopping etc and going slow. Children older then 4 I think parents should tell their kids to move to one side to allow people to pass.

On the other hand, they have to learn at some point. Maybe people could be more considerate, and maybe, just maybe, you could have organised yourself a bit better so you wouldn't have missed a train by 15 seconds. Isn't that the usual mumsnet response, take some responsibility for your own failings?

Yes they have to learn, bit parents need to use their common sense and do it in an appropriate setting. A crowded train station where people carnt see below their knees due to tne crowds is not tne place for a 2 year old to be toddling around. Commuters carnt see them and they will accidently get kicked or get separated from their parent.

Plus you often carnt plan better when rushing for a connecting train when the first train is late into tne station. Recently I was 30 mins delayed which meant I had less than 5 mins to make my connection. It's a busy train station not a breezy day out for toddlers to bimble about.

YANBU you have to adapt to the situation. It's nice for kids to walk when there's space but a busy tube station at rush hour isn't the time or place.

YAB a bit U but I understand you're writing this annoyed that you left it too late to get on your train. Children have the right to be in spaces as much as you. Would you have tutted so much at an older person or just generally anyone you think should have been going quicker? I'm guilty of impatience too, so I know it's not easy.

The difference is older people etc while slow don't have tne unprectabiliry of a toddler suddenly changing direction, sitting down etc plus they can be contained in areas where there are obvious dangers to them like crowds and getting lost in it. The parents need to take responsibility for their toddlers, that's not the responsibility of hundreds of commuters busily getting on with their own day and often own children.

That slow wobbly child could have been an elderly lady or a disabled person.

I agree there are times it's better to carry children for their own safety. But missing trains by 15 seconds is on you not them.

And like I said on busy train stations people are always going to be rushing to catch connecting trains. No amount of planning g or thinking ahead can change your first train being delayed into the station. Parents need to take responsibility for their in toddlers not expect everyone else to plan around them, for god sake.

Wobbling around, sitting down, changing direction, all sounds like a hen party on their way home or the disabled gentleman with a white stick I saw yesterday on the train. You can't say public places are only for sober, full ability, adults and people who work. That's mad. They're public spaces for everyone.

As an impatient parent of a toddler I think YANBU. Fair enough on a wide pavement or somewhere with space for others to manoeuvre around us but not in a busy station! All it takes is for a rush of harassed commuters to knock over a little one. It’s awful missing a connection, more so when you’ve been held up by unnecessary dawdlers.

And that does not include the elderly or disabled as you would expect both to be using the station. Toddlers should be carried or put in a buggy until it is safe for them to be let loose.

you can see tne dunk or tne elderly person in a crowded station. You carnt see the tiny 2 year old darting under your feet. They will get accidently kicked. Yes the are public spaces but that dosent mean parents are void from using common sense.

There should be one seat per sick/disabled/elderly person. If your toddler has a bony bum or you're unable to entertain your own child you'll just have to learn to do a bit better. Certainly not expect people who are in A&E unwell to stand to compensate for your inadequacies as a parent.

Toddlers should be carried or put in a buggy until it is safe for them to be let loos

Maybe if people were a bit more helpful so they could bring a buggy? No one ever has the patience to wait for them to collapse the buggy. No one what's to help hold the baby while they do so

Or maybe their partner/friend has the buggy at the top of the steps already and they are literally just going up the stairs

Not sure if I should admit this but one of my pet hates is people who do this on the school run. I fully appreciate that toddlers need to learn but they never seem to be aware that they are creating a huge queue behind them. A huge queue of people walking at snails pace becoming increasingly frustrated... They just carry on without a care in the world.

When mine where little they where carried or in buggys in train stations. When they where old enough to understand the dangers and that they must stay with me and hold my hand and have awareness of others needs they walked. Yes it's a public space and yes everyone has the right to use it but parents also need to he responsible for their children and keep them safe, allowing a toddler with no awareness of dangers loose in a train station to get under everyone else's feet is irresponsible. They have every right to use tne space bit they do need to be considerate of everyone else whis first thought is quite rightly not other people's toddlers.

Honestly this makes me laugh. So your priorities/needs are more important than everyone else's? It's not the toddler's fault you missed your train. And I'd like to see you explain your reasoning to a screaming 2 yr old who wants to walk and won't be carried.

That slow wobbly child could have been an elderly lady or a disabled person.

In which case there’s nothing to be done. In the case of a toddler, the parent can do something, ie. pick the child up, therefore it isn’t the same situation is it?

And I'd like to see you explain your reasoning to a screaming 2 yr old who wants to walk and won't be carried.

You’re the parent, so parent. Your screaming two year old doesn’t call the shots. But perhaps you’d rather leave them in danger of being inadvertently hurt rather than say no to them.

Worst culprits for holding people up

The whiners. They stand around in everyones way moaning about absolutely everything. They moan at the bus stops/ticket desk while they wait. They then carry it on with the staff. " why is the ticket thirty p more than last month why are the toilets locked. Why is no one at the coffee kiosk. Then wall whilst moaning at a snails pace to the bus/train.

And the " I'm.gonna do everything one handed no matter how long it takes cos god forbid I put my phone down for even a second " people.

Nobody should be allowed to bring suitcases with them either. Those cause huge queues and its easy to fall over them when the owners suddenly change direction.

Genuinely how often do you get tripped up by a child or see a child getting kicked in your daily commute? Where is this station? I've been at train stations in India where people are more civilised than this sounds. Your biggest problem there is sitting next to a goat.

I think it depends on the time of day really. Inside peak commuter hours I think people with children have to be more thoughtful and stay out of the way as much as is possible. However during the day, outside of these peak hours I don't see the problem. Children need to learn how to use public transport too.

I wouldn’t rather my toddler slowly walked upstairs holding my hand than me carrying them , walking fast and maybe tripping with them in my arm, which has happened before.