To think you should carry your child?

[ClaudiaWankleman]

Parents with small children who insist on letting them try to walk up the stairs on the tube/ train/ other busy public areas.

It inevitably creates a tight bottleneck at an area a bottleneck is already going to form. We all have to squeeze into 2/3 of the space while you lead a wobbling toddler up some stairs that are way too advanced for them.

Not only is it horrendously dirty when they sit down on the third step before you heave them back up (always happens) it seems quite dangerous. There is always the chance that someone will accidentally trample them as it’s quite difficult to see in the restricted spaces.

Not least that if I had been able to get up the stairs 15 seconds quicker I would’ve been on my train instead of having to wait for the next one.

AIBU to think that you should carry your child?

You’re the parent, so parent. Your screaming two year old doesn’t call the shots. But perhaps you’d rather leave them in danger of being inadvertently hurt rather than say no to them.

I'm not a parent, to a screaming two year old or otherwise. But I have understanding and tolerance for other human beings just innocently going about their day in my general vicinity. It's not up to them to change their behaviour to suit me.

Going by the responses, I think we found few people who do what you are talking about, OP

Sometimes you need to make allowances for parents too though. Our local train station has no step free access so the baby goes in the sling and the 3 year old has to walk. Similarly when I was pg I couldn't lift him/carry him.

But perhaps you’d rather leave them in danger of being inadvertently hurt rather than say no to them

A child walking through a busy railway station is not a hazard. Nor is a screaming child a hazard. The inpatient, intolerant adult not aware of their surroundings who trips is the hazard in this mythical goady scenario.

I fear I’m turning into one of these people who gets irritated by small children when in a rush. This morning for example: school run, bell had gone, everyone rushing down the narrow path to school but stopped by two mums walking slowly whilst nattering and allowing their toddlers to zigzag along the path. Couldn’t get around them so everyone was pretty much trapped as the grass either side was extremely wet and muddy.
Pick your kid up ffs! Some people just don’t seem to have any self-awareness.

No my priorities are no more important but some parents think their toddlers wants are more imortant than everybody else getting 9n with their own day. I've been there many times with my kids as screaming toddlers who don't get their own way. You still pick them up and move them. It's not up to strangers to reason with someone else's 2 year old who what's to hold everyone else up by having a tantrum because they don't want to walk. That's the parents job.

A child walking through a busy railway station is not a hazard. Nor is a screaming child a hazard. The inpatient, intolerant adult not aware of their surroundings who trips is the hazard in this mythical goady scenario.

This, 100%.

There is a time and place for everything. Small toddle wobbling around in a busy trains ration and blocking people on the stairs? Not ok.
Small toddle wobbling around in a quiet trains ration and not blocking anyone? Ok.
Teaching your child to ride a bike on an A road? Not ok.
Teaching your child to ride a bike on a quiet side road? Ok

ToddleR

Depends on the station. Busy city stations with lots of connections and 20 plus platforms lots of escalators etc gets extremely busy with people dashing g for connections is not the place for toddlers to be walking . Quiet small town station with 2 platforms and one bridge is much safer.

Train station. Wtf happened in my post

For me it is not about slowness. Elderly and disabled people can be slow too. But a toddler's height walking up or down stairs in a crowd or in a very crowded street are in danger. It is way too easy for them not to be seen by other adults in a crowd. But some parents don't seem to recognise this danger. I am assuming the same ones that don't recognise the danger of children running around a cafe where hot food and drinks are being carried by staff.

@JustSayYo You are totally ignoring the danger to a tiny child. You can state that adults should not be impatient, but you wanting it to be that way does not erase the fact that there will be adults rushing about.

@AlexaAmbidextra

Genuine question: do you have young children? If so, I would think you’d understand the concept of picking your battles.

I let my 3 year old walk up the stairs in most situations. I won’t if: the stairs are narrow and people can’t easily get past, he stops and won’t move etc. So I’ll allow him to walk to some extent, within reasonable limits. He is never a trip hazard; I make sure of that. And he’s never at danger of falling. I walk directly in line with him so I’m not taking up even more of the width of the stairs.

I do this because he wants to walk by himself. If I didn’t he would be screaming and crying. He does this enough with other things that I choose not to have to deal with it for this. Picking my battles. For example, I have zero tolerance for him being noisy or running around or kicking chairs inside trains.

And yes I agree with a pp that if people were more helpful with carrying a buggy upstairs then it would be more of a viable option.

Also sometimes people have disabilities or injuries that preclude them from carrying the toddler. I have a prolapse from my two children that is getting worse and worse, and I’m very conscious that carrying my 15kg child is not good for my prolapse.

Maybe the person was going somewhere where they couldn't use or leave a buggy? Like, a hospital, the kid's nursery (not all have space to park a buggy, ours didn't), the tube... maybe they were transferring onto a bus. You get dog's abuse for taking a buggy onto a bus, on here anyway.

On the other hand, they have to learn at some point.

In the same way that one has to learn to drive, but one isn't allowed on the motorways as a learner. Parents need to realise that the world doesn't revolve around them and their children.

This morning for example: school run, bell had gone, everyone rushing down the narrow path to school but stopped by two mums ...Pick your kid up ffs! Some people just don’t seem to have any self-awareness.

I mean, part of me wants to point out that your lack of preparation isn't their emergency.....

I get what you mean. I do also think that people in the UK are extremely intolerant of children, and could stand to remember that toddlers are people too, and have the right to be out in public, and even, dare I say it, get in people's way occasionally.

Parents need to realise that the world doesn't revolve around them and their children.

Doesn't revolve around you either...

@karencantobe

No, I'm not. If I'm looking after a child I take my responsibility to keep them safe seriously. That doesn't extend to carrying them everywhere when they are perfectly capable of walking. They need to learn how to be safe while doing that i.e. holding handrails, staying to one side etc.

You're suggesting that children shouldn't walk when a place is busy/there are lots of rushing adults around. How ridiculous! If you lived in a city they would never learn to walk.

I commute and I rush through the station at times. I've never walked into or stepped on a child, because I look where I'm going.

When I had toddlers I tried to keep them safe -- which included not leaving them toddling in the paths of umpteen hurrying adults who because they were looking at things above knee-height such as signs on the wall might not have seen my toddlers in time to avoid treading on them, knocking into them, or otherwise causing them pain or fear.

A toddler is the centre of its parents' world. (Well, apart from the baby having usurped that place.) But your toddler is not the centre of anyone else's world, and if they fail to see it in time to avoid it that is because they are not completely toddlercentric, not because they are evil toddler-bashers.

If you would keep your toddler out of the way of cars, why would you not also keep it out of the way of fast-moving adults on foot?

Yabu.
When I'm out and about I'll have the baby in the sling and the toddler (2.8) walking with a reins backpack on. Maybe I'm unlucky that the station I get on/get off has no lift so cant use the buggy, and cant chance getting the bus and having to get off if a wheelchair user needs the space.
Maybe you need to watch where you're going if you're likely to trip over something in front of you.

Yep. Carry them. Unless you're physically unable in which case maybe a pushchair and a lift would be better - you get forgiven if there is no lift or it's a long way away.

Children in cities learn to walk the same way that children elsewhere do!

Ignoring the fact that said child wasn’t screaming, and the parent seemed to be enjoying watching their child dawdle up the stairs, I would still think it irresponsible to hold up lots of people because you didn’t want to take control of your child on the stairs.

To the PP who mentioned goats in India to cover for the fact that they didn’t believe that this happens - I was trying to get onto the Central line at Bank last Saturday when I saw a parent doing it (for anyone familiar - not on the spiral staircase thank God!). The passageway is about 4 metres wide and has a barrier down the middle.

It was today’s experience (my bus ran late hence I was rushing) which annoyed me. The station is a busy one with approx 15 stairs. There is space for 3 people side by side to go up and down, and the people getting off were two abreast. Commuters going up had to queue behind the parents. I heard the doors close as I was on about the fifth step so I definitely would’ve made it, as would many others.

I always think that if someone has a small kid on the tube/whatever at rush hour they must really need to be there because otherwise it is so thoroughly unpleasant. So suck it up.

If it's not rush hour, just suck it up. You are not more important than them. I realise this comes as a shock to most very very important people on their way to jobs of vital importance.

@ThePlantsitter RTFT. You have spectacularly strawmanned the thread, which is about inconveniencing others by allowing your children to slow them down.