To think you should carry your child?

[ClaudiaWankleman]

Parents with small children who insist on letting them try to walk up the stairs on the tube/ train/ other busy public areas.

It inevitably creates a tight bottleneck at an area a bottleneck is already going to form. We all have to squeeze into 2/3 of the space while you lead a wobbling toddler up some stairs that are way too advanced for them.

Not only is it horrendously dirty when they sit down on the third step before you heave them back up (always happens) it seems quite dangerous. There is always the chance that someone will accidentally trample them as it’s quite difficult to see in the restricted spaces.

Not least that if I had been able to get up the stairs 15 seconds quicker I would’ve been on my train instead of having to wait for the next one.

AIBU to think that you should carry your child?

I have a prior spinal fracture. I look ok.....but I wld always have my child walk whenever possible as it killed me to carry her. Not always, but Sometimes there are unseen reasons for stuff like this.

A public space is for everyone. Not just for those who are clearly wound up way too tight. Why are your needs more important than anyone else's? Chill out, slow down, let the small person climb the stairs and get a bit of perspective.

If it was quiet I would let them but when busy I've always carried - it's just not safe and inconsiderate to others. Plus it's really gross down there so would definitely be holding both hands so they didn't hit the deck. (don't mind kids getting dirty but the tube floor is like a toxic waste dump!)

At my daughter's school there was a fire drill during reading time. A mother thought this was a perfect time to let her toddler walk down 2 flights of stairs!!!! Luckily it was only a drill, but you can imagine the line, with her standing next to her very slllllowwww child. I get they have to learn but really?

Lucky you, you have plenty of time in your day!

I really don't. But I rarely miss my main transport, and I've mentioned what I do if I'm rushing.
The thing is I take full responsibility for being there on time. I don't take it out on small children or their parents. Or anyone else, for that matter.
If I am rushing, it's not their fault. It was either a combination of factors, or I left it too late.
Why rant because of a child climbing some stairs, but not the late bus? The main delay will have been the bus.

I do understand your point, but my just turned 2 year old son is really big for his age and heavy, if I was carrying him, my trusty backpack/changing bag that comes everywhere and possibly shopping or whatever else I think it would be more dangerous if I was carrying him. Yes he might be slow and annoying but having fallen myself down an entire flight of steep steps at a tube station many years ago I would be very nervous to carry him up steep steps. Not a position I have yet been in though, living in the sticks with only walking/car options has some advantages I guess!

I saw a toddler's clothing get caught up on escalator. parent was not even holding their hand. Someone pressed stop button and luckily child was released before seriously injured. Child looked about 2 or 3 and was jumping up and down whilst on escalator and parent not paying attention.

There is a time and place and a heaving train station isn't one of them. People aren't looking that far down, you always see small children constantly being jostled as the crowd closes in on them and they inevitably end up on their knees with the mother desperately holding onto their hand.

I'm on the tube all the time and can't think of any point that I've experienced this, seriously. Families taking up six seats at rush hour by posting each one of their children into a seat though....don't get me started!!

In which case there’s nothing to be done. In the case of a toddler, the parent can do something, ie. pick the child up, therefore it isn’t the same situation is it?

Does it really never occur to people that parents can have disabilities too, as well as children? That maybe that parent has been carrying that child for an hour and physically can’t carry them any more. Maybe if public transport were more accessible for disabled people and parents using buggies then this wouldn’t be so much of an issue?

I like the fact it's the mother's fault that other commuters simply stampede over kids, rather than them being entitled twats.

Let's be honest, they don't seem to trip over the other million hazards that are close to ground level, it's just kids that are, apparently, an issue.

Whilst they are some oblivious, entitled parents, very few people would have a leisurely stroll in rush hour traffic, it's just that little legs can only go so fast. And no, parents can't always avoid rush hour traffic or have loads of alternative methods of transport to choose from.

very few people would have a leisurely stroll in rush hour traffic

Unless you live in a touristy area.

I'd be livid if I missed my rush hour train because of a toddler too. Absolutely understand that a toddler needs to learn to use stairs but a rush hour station is not the place to do this. Also could be dangerous for the child who is out of view of commuters and could easily be trampled or knocked over. Pretty selfish parenting in my view.

Christ.

The parent may not have any other choice! Public transport has such poor accessibility. Perhaps they can’t carry their child, and god knows you can’t use a buggy in most train stations with the amount of steps and lack of lifts.

If you miss your train because of other passengers doing normal things like climbing stairs (could equally be someone with limited mobility) you should arrive earlier.

Would I let my twins climb the stairs at a train station in rush hour? Ideally no, but I would if I had no other option.

I'd be livid if I missed my rush hour train because of a toddler too. Absolutely understand that a toddler needs to learn to use stairs but a rush hour station is not the place to do this. Also could be dangerous for the child who is out of view of commuters and could easily be trampled or knocked over. Pretty selfish parenting in my view
I completely agree

I'm slow due to disability but I'm aware of my surroundings and will stand aside whenever that won't inconvenience other people to let them get past.

One thing about the London underground is that people are usually more than happy to help . You don't get a friendly, "Shall I hold the baby while you fold the buggy?" you do get someone in a business suit pick up the foot plate of the buggy so mum or dad can get up stairs.

Actually, it's the Very Important People, rushing to do whatever Earth-Shatteringly Important Thing they can't be late for, who were the reason I wanted my toddlers to learn early to walk always at the side of passages and stairways

Very occasionally it is something important and rushed. Many years ago I was rather rude to a woman who told me I could, "Just wait there young lady until I've finished"

Nope, I'm on my way to a cardiac arrest I'm going to rush and not wait.

There is a time and a place for little ones to totter about but that is not in a busy train station. Its also not on the school run!
I have this every morning with 2 mums who think its cute to let the little ones totter at a snails pace along a walkway wide enough for 2. 1 each way so no getting past. One mum this week let her child turn around and ram the huge que behind them with her little buggy and actually expected everyone to back up so the child could go in the wrong direction. The other child regularly has a little basket to stop and collect stones from the path on the walkway. Might sound like im being a right cow but i timed this crawl once and the 60 second or so walk took 6 minutes. Saw 1 guy once dare to gently lift the child out of the way to get past while ignorant mum was talking to other ignorant mum and she starting screaming child abuse at him! Go and have your chat in costa love... Iv got to get to work.

Fully expect to be shot down for that rant but zero fucks given

Yabu the toddler has every bit as much right to do walk as you do. You could be held up by all sorts of things, you are NOT as important as you think OP !

Go and have your chat in costa love... Iv got to get to work.

Yep you're clearly more important than SAHMs. Maybe just set off earlier so you aren't in such a hurry?

I'd be livid if I missed my rush hour train because of a toddler too. Absolutely understand that a toddler needs to learn to use stairs but a rush hour station is not the place to do this. Also could be dangerous for the child who is out of view of commuters and could easily be trampled or knocked over. Pretty selfish parenting in my vie

Are you for real? If that 2 seconds really makes a difference then you need to get up earlier.

This is a truly horrible thread.

Anyone, adult or toddler, who wambled about in rush-hour pedestrian traffic in a slow and random way (as opposed to the elderly and disabled who are slow but not as a rule random) would be being a nuisance to everyone else using the public space, just as anybody who at a similar time stops dead at the top of a flight of stairs (or half-way up or down one) in order to count their change or whatever other reason they may have for it is being a nuisance to everyone else using that public flight of stairs.

The toddler cannot help having no idea of this fact; it lacks experience. Its parent, who does not lack experience, knows very well what is going on, or should do -- if only because s/he presumably does not want someone to run into the toddler, or knock it down, or otherwise frighten or hurt it, by accident.

The toddler's right to do what it wants is trumped here by the toddler's right to be kept safe, I would have thought. Well, I did think, when I had toddlers. I would have been deeply ashamed if my negligence had been the cause of them getting into harm's way.

Go and have your chat in costa love... Iv got to get to work.

Yep you're clearly more important than SAHMs. Maybe just set off earlier so you aren't in such a hurry?

@Teateaandmoretea who said i was more important... Surly your not suggesting me and the other 60-70 other parents stuck behind this parent and child should work an extra 10 minutes into our mornings to accommodate what she want to do. Shes rude and ignorant and refuses to move when others ask politely to get past.

ps i was a SAHM for 9 years and would never have let my child do this

I somehow doubt there is a queue of 60-70 parents who it costs a full 10 minutes each every day. It's a slight inconvenience of life because you have to share the planet with others, who yes can be annoying. But that's life.

who said i was more important... Surly your not suggesting me and the other 60-70 other parents stuck behind this parent and child should work an extra 10 minutes into our mornings to accommodate what she want to do. Shes rude and ignorant and refuses to move when others ask politely to get past.

If This happens daily, why not just leave five minutes earlier so that you avoid it?