To think you should carry your child?

[ClaudiaWankleman]

Parents with small children who insist on letting them try to walk up the stairs on the tube/ train/ other busy public areas.

It inevitably creates a tight bottleneck at an area a bottleneck is already going to form. We all have to squeeze into 2/3 of the space while you lead a wobbling toddler up some stairs that are way too advanced for them.

Not only is it horrendously dirty when they sit down on the third step before you heave them back up (always happens) it seems quite dangerous. There is always the chance that someone will accidentally trample them as it’s quite difficult to see in the restricted spaces.

Not least that if I had been able to get up the stairs 15 seconds quicker I would’ve been on my train instead of having to wait for the next one.

AIBU to think that you should carry your child?

Its the height thatsxthe problem. A slow adult is more clearly visible than someone knee high, especially in crowds, abd can be negotiated round more easily. Toddlers dart off or sit down unpredictably and are at risk of getting hurt by people falling over them.

YABU. The world doesn't revolve around you, and you need to plan your journey earlier. You have no idea why that parent may not be carrying their child ( maybe they are physically unable? ) Like others have said, would you react the same way if it were an elderly or disabled person?
By the way, it's "Can't" not " Carn't". You're welcome.

This happens at school every single morning. Parents letting their toddlers walk down the (very narrow) stairs and there's usually about 30 people held up behind them. People then get impatient and go down the up stairs and then block people from getting up and it's so frustrating! Just pick them up and walk down the stairs!

There's a very big difference between carrying a child and holding their hand or similar though.

The latter should absolutely be enough even if it is rush hour.

YANBU but I'm sure you will get a stream of ridiculous reasons telling you why you are wrong.

Kids can learn at home or in less busy areas but when going to places like London for example, it is just not appropriate and these parents clearly have WAY too much time on their hands.

Unfortunately due a combination of sciatica, permanently dodgy hip due to SPD and a tall, heavy kid, I wasn't able to carry him very early on and certainly not on stairs.

I' used to stick to the sides as much as possible, but sometimes people couldn't get past us as there simply was no room and there's very little I could do about it beyond encouraging DS to move quicker.

And sorry, but your job isn't more important than my appointment or similar or any other errand urgent enough to get me me to brave rush hour crowds.

My 2 year old weighs about 17kg. No way could I carry him for any length of time, I really struggle to lift him if he's having a tantrum about having his nappy changed or something. And pushchairs are a nightmare at the older tube stations so I understand why people might do this, although personally I avoid tube stations without lifts so I can take the pushchair and I walk or take the bus instead (I don't live in London though so this is only for occasional visits). I find train/tube platforms really nerve wracking with small children though and absolutely always have reins on the 2 year old.

Omg get over it I have twins and I don’t care what anyone thinks if I’m holding hands getting in your way tough get the hell over it my day out my time with my kids I don’t care if they get in your way but I’m not breaking my back for anyone end of story

I had this once at Finsbury Park - in the middle of the rush hour. What was worse was that Dad was stationed at the top of the stairs to try and stop people coming down the stairs, whilst mum took the toddler down the stairs one by one. That lasted about 2 seconds before people charged down the stairs next to them.

How about that we are busy parents/people trying to hold down jobs, stay on top of a hundred things, rushing from one things to the next, and at the end of the day tired and trying to getting home. May be a little consideration for people working at the end of a long working day? Does toddler training have to happen in a busy tube station? In the rush hour?
I have 2 children but I have always been mindful about other people around us, there's nothing wrong with that is there?

mantarays
"You need to hold your child or buggy and if you can’t then use a bloody taxi / bus / walk."

Don’t be silly. People need to be conscious of the fact that small people sometimes walk more slowly than they do.

Hang on: this appears to be saying that it is silly to suggest holding on to a toddler when it is toddling in a crowded public area. Are you really suggesting that a toddler should be allowed to wander as it pleases without being held onto? On a crowded tube stairway?

I definitely did not allow my toddlers to ramble randomly in busy station entries. Does anyone, really? I was actually quite fond of them, and didn't want them falling down concrete stairs or onto live rails and doing themselves a mischief because I had failed to take proper care of them by keeping them close to me and holding onto them when they were tottering about and (as the OP said) sitting down suddenly because they were not yet able to walk reliably.

A child may want to play in traffic and scream if it is prevented, but if we are even remotely sensible parents we don't let it no matter how much of a tantrum it throws. Tantrums should not be what governs our behaviour.

YANBU at all!!!! Drives me nuts!!

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime

No. “Hold” means “carry” to me. Obviously I would hold their hand, just not the whole child.

I'm glad to hear it!

In that case, you are not the person who is allowing her child to fall over (as in the OP) and so long as you are not both passaging about all over the place you're blocking the way for everyone else, are you? No more than I was when my toddler and I were going along at the side of the pathway rather than in the middle of it, so that my body was keeping my toddler safe from accidental injury by someone who had not seen it.

It's obvious who uses public transports and who doesn't...

I use it every day. Always have.
My main transport has a minimum of 30 min in between.
I never need to aim to arrive more than 10-20 min earlier.
Will leave in plenty of time because buses are unreliable or will catch a taxi if I must absolutely catch the transport and I'm running late. Or I've been known to walk instead for 10 min if traffic is bad.
Because I don't want to risk missing it by 15 sec.
What I won't do is insult people I encounter in the way.
Your point was?

You people also need to look down when you walk, or you might trip on anything. No excuses for not seeing a child. Not more than a trolley being pulled behind someone, for example.

I always pick DS up in this situation, and I also move him to the side whenever I think he's slowing someone else down, not just in busy places. I try really hard to be mindful of him annoying adults, to the point that DH thinks I go too far the other way. But I'm amazed at the people saying that you should either
a) use a buggy or
b) just let the child scream if they don't want to be picked up

Have you ever tried taking a buggy or a screaming toddler on a tube or train?! People make it pretty clear that they do not think that's the right choice... People even got huffy with me for having newborn DS on my front in a sling on the tube (not at rush hour) presumably because they thought the two of us together took up too much space. Weirdly, I found people were lovely when I was pregnant and getting the tube and absolutely horrible once he was on the outside...

It's obvious who uses public transports and who doesn't...
So true

If it was a pensioner would you expect someone to carry them up the stairs?

Lucky you, you have plenty of time in your day!

That's Lewji

If it was a pensioner would you expect someone to carry them up the stairs?
No that would be infantilising an adult and would be entirely inappropriate and disrespectful. You can’t say that about small children

Completely agree with the above post. With children parents can intervene. OP's are very mindful of others anyway.

How can people even compare pensioners with small children? That’s so nasty. Have a bit of respect.

Small children- fine to pick up
Pensioners- NOT fine to pick up for many many reasons. They are NOT small children.

Some people on this site are honestly something else