DH and DD bathing

[disintegration]

DH and DD bath together on Sunday mornings. She is 8. He asked me yesterday when I thought that would have to end and I replied that I thought it would probably be soon, certainly this year. He was a bit upset so I suggested I post on here to find out hive mind thought (changed username as I don't want him finding my other posts!!)

So, AIBU and they can bath together for longer or AINBU and they should cut it out sooner rather than later? Should it be DD that decides when she isn't comfortable with it anymore?

The thing is, we're all different. Some people are relaxed and comfortable with bodies and nudity and don't give it a second thought, others are super uptight (like the poster who wouldn't hug their child if they were in underwear and not fully clothed). The uptight ones are probably the same people who won't kiss their small children on the lips, or think it's weird to make a valentine card together. As a bath-sharing, cuddling, lip-pecking household who are relaxed with bodies I'm generally a bit uncomfortable with the uptight variety of people as I find it really weird that they sexualise everything. If you're a relaxed household and everyone is comfortable then it's fine.
The poster who said nudity is not inappropriate, it's only inappropriate behaviour which is inappropriate, had it bang on. I'm always a bit suspicious of people who see sex everywhere. But as I said, we're all different.

It’s about boundaries. My mum was especially keen on walking around naked with her massive hairy minge out because ‘the human body is natural!’ But I hated it. It felt like a violation of my boundaries and I didn’t want to see it. I realise it’s partly my hang ups, but it really pisses me off when people are bending over backwards to be liberal and not seem prudish. ‘Oh my 15 year old still comes into bed for a naked cuddle every Saturday morning - we’re such a progressive family.’ No.

I had a friend at school whose parents were nudists and were always naked at home. It fucked him up and as an adult he has had loads and loads of issues with sex addiction and paraphilias.

Yes it’s good to reinforce the idea that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. But there is a certain point beyond which it’s no longer appropriate for children to be exposed to naked adults and I would definitely say that 8 years is it.

I think it’s ridiculous to suggest that people who don’t expose their kids to their naked genitalia would not be warm and loving.

My parents kissed and hugged me constantly all my life right up til now. They tell me they love me, support me, etc.

Not having to see them naked constantly or bathe in their dirty grown-up bath water didn’t mean they loved me less.

The weird thing is that he is getting upset about not being able to bathe with her anymore, as if there isn't 100 other things he could do to bond with her.

Surely it’s a bit of a squash for a man and his 8 yo daughter to be in bath together. Given they’re naked, that just doesn’t seem appropriate or, at the very least, is at the very limit of what’s acceptable.

OP did say in her 3rd post that it is a bloody huge bath

But the DD is the one choosing to jump in the bath with him right? It's not like he's getting in with her. So all the stuff about how she might start feeling uncomfortable as she gets near puberty, is not really relevant.. if she felt uncomfortable she'd just stop doing it. And that's likely to be fairly soon, as she is approaching puberty, so why not let her stop when she's ready to stop instead of turning it into a weird thing

I still bathe with my DD7. She would get in with DH but they wouldn't fit! Nothing wrong at all. Until SHE says she doesn't want to we will continue to. I'm 38 and perfectly comfortable being naked in front of my mum and sister and vice versa...not Dad and Bro though!

I think the right answer is when one of them feels uncomfortable. But, I have to say if it was me I'd stop it now. You may think I'm wrong but I'd be worried that if DD mentioned it to someone they'd be worried.

Seems a bit odd to me and definitely too old

You will get a very even split to be honest by asking on here. I am asian and would never bath with my kids at any age. I find it weird that people would. I do leave the bathroom door closed but unlocked when I have a shower or bath as I can guarantee the kids will have an argument and one of them will pop in wanting to be consoled. I have no major issues about nudity but think bath time is a solo activity. I would happily get changed in front of my mum or sisters and vice versa. Dh often comes in and out whilst I am having a shower and I don't mind.

If you are a nudey family then your boundaries are different, I would go by what you are all comfortable with. Main thing is to not make a big deal out of it.