DH and DD bathing

[disintegration]

DH and DD bath together on Sunday mornings. She is 8. He asked me yesterday when I thought that would have to end and I replied that I thought it would probably be soon, certainly this year. He was a bit upset so I suggested I post on here to find out hive mind thought (changed username as I don't want him finding my other posts!!)

So, AIBU and they can bath together for longer or AINBU and they should cut it out sooner rather than later? Should it be DD that decides when she isn't comfortable with it anymore?

I read this thread with incredulity yesterday, but didn't comment.
I've only just really clocked that my youngest DS is the same age as the DD being discussed.

I cannot believe some of the statements of horror by some posters. And the fact that some think 3 or 4 is the age when sharing baths should stop. Is this really the age we are living in now? Everyone is a potential paedophile?

I don't take baths, but I shower daily, and sometimes my kids will jump in the shower with me because they think it's hilarious. My Ds snuggles up to my boobs because he finds it comforting.

As of yet my DC's have no issue with nakedness, and until they do, I won't be making them have one.

Mumsnet is just bloody weird!

@1000atfc5423 how about actually reading the post just up from yours, which reported what the 8 year old said about her bathtimes with dad.

@1000atfc5423 who the fuck are you to say OPs husband is not a good father? On what evidence?
The only person with an agenda is you. The DH asked OP's opinion as all good parents do. And even if OP said 'no' - why should he have to obey? Why is it her say so over his? (OP I'm not saying you suggested it was, I'm just trying to defend you and your DH here)

Some of you are messed up.

FizzyIce Thank you

I beg your pardon?

Bloody hell thats way inappropriate.

Sorry that was to @1000atfc5423

Good grief

It sounds like it's led by your dad OP so it'll fizzle out when she doesn't want to anymore.

@WaterOffADucksCrack 💐 for you and sorry what you've been through too.

What a sad world we live in.

Glad you have had a chat with your DD OP. I was concerned that it would make her ashamed of her body or think there was something wrong (when there isn't) but it sounds like she has her head screwed on.

My DD would happily wander about naked until one day she started locking the bathroom door.

Your DD will lead the way on this.

I stopped bathing with my boys when they were 5. I just felt uncomfortable. Our 6 year old jumps in with his dad but 8 year old wouldnt

No it would not @Dieu

Well done op.

disintegration thank you Sorry you've had to put up with some disturbing and disgusting comments. I just don't understand why those posters think it's ok to sexualise children in this way. They're the disturbing ones having thoughts like that, not your husband.

JKScot4 in our household (and billions of others), our Dc freely walked in and out of our bedroom and bathroom when they were small. They frequently sat on the floor playing whilst I had a bath or watched tele whilst I was getting dressed. So yes, they saw me naked. ALOT. If you think this is weird, I suggest you seek therapy.

Chinks123 because in what I consider NORMAL families, small Dc frequently sit in the bedroom or bathroom whilst mummy is having a bath or getting dressed. They are not shooed out and taught that nude bodies are a thing of disgust or rudeness.

Personally I think 8 is too old.
At that age a child should be learning about boundaries and privacy.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I remember being a kid and going round a friend's house at about your DDs age and running into her mum walking about the house in her underwear. Which was apparently normal in their family but not something my family would do. So obviously everyone has their own boundaries in their family for this sort of thing.

Like you don't trust yourselves or need to safeguard your children from yourself.

So if you bathe with your child you are a pervert and if you don't bathe with your child your a pervert.

I don't think anyone's a pervert. I'm just glad we all like our quick clean showers. Can't be bothered with a bath with or without anybody else.

This is such a difficult one and I can see the merits of both sides (mainly healthy exposure to 'real' bodies vs healthy boundaries) but I come down on the side of this being too old, I'm afraid.

Reading with interest for forming my own thinking on nakedness generally for our household, though!

I will jump in the shower with both dd (7) and ds (9) sometimes. I used to bath (jump into his bath) with my Dad until I was probably 8 or 9 and it just stopped naturally. I protested much earlier on about sharing with my brother tho.

@1000atfc5423 you must have been reading a different thread You have completely misconstrued what the OP said.

We live in a naked household.

I still bathe with both of my kids

I’d rather not as I’m always trying to find me time bu having a long bath! One of them always jumps in!

I don’t find it weird at all. I’d stop when my dd wanted too. People sexualise anything nowadays. She cane from my body!

I can't see anything wrong with it as long as they are both comfortable it's a wonderful bonding time i have a son who sometimes jumps in with me (he's 5) it's nice no electronics just me and him time and when he doesn't want to do it anymore he will stop jumping in.

I think your over thinking it

My ex was bathing with our 6 year old daughter. He was also taking her into his bed to sleep. I spoke to the head teacher at school on the basis that he treats her differently to her 8 year old brother who he was ignoring, he was left to cry himself to sleep when he took our daughter to bed with him during visits. He had stopped bathing with our son when we were together when he was about 4 as my ex said he was too old so I was concerned that it was magically okay for our daughter! The head said she would be concerned from a safeguarding point of view about him sleeping with and bathing with a 6 year old. Children's services also deemed it inappropriate.