DH and travelling for work.

[surelyitcantgetworsethanthis]

DH travels a fair bit for work. His diary is self managed, he is the boss and has a fair degree of control. He travels locally and internationally.
I found out I need to have some pre cancerous cells removed. Nothing life threatening but still upsetting, so we agreed to go private to speed up the process and put both our minds at rest. (DH lost his mum young to cancer)
Appointment booked, locked it in both our calendars, 3 weeks ago. DH reassured me he'd be there, there is no way he wouldn't etc.
DH was due to travel internationally this week but his counterpart from the UK couldn't (for whatever reason) make it so moved it to next week. DH texted me at work saying he's really sorry but needs to travel on surgery day. He has no choice.
AIBU to be completely livid.
I don't want to go alone (no family we are overseas, appointment is at school pick up time so can't get a friend to come and hand hold)
The next available is in a month, again when he is due to be away and I don't want to wait.
I cannot see why he can't say that doesn't work and travel the next morning. Or dial in via zoom. The words 'pre-cancerous' may be clouding my judgement so appreciate feedback.

Well said Saskia

@surelyitcantgetworsethanthis

You can't be sacked for being off sick/family emergency.

You're wrong.

@surelyitcantgetworsethanthis

Hi OP,

I don’t understand some of the nasty comments on this thread. It is perfectly reasonable for you to want your DH to be with you for something like this.

My DH is a good man but can be insensitive and unthinking at times. In similar situations I have occasionally needed to remind him that I should take priority over work. If the situation were reversed I would be there for him and it should work both ways.

Best of luck with your procedure, I hope everything goes well. I am glad DH is now taking you. I hope he stays throughout and realises he has been in the wrong by not prioritising you, causing you more stress which you just don’t need.

@downtownabby I agree. You shouldn't be sacked or disadvantaged for taking time off for the family but it happens all the time.

If OP is in academia then taking time off is easier but it's not easy, often unfairly so, in private sector.

By way of an update. DH definitely not travelling on surgery day (but the day after)
He hates valentines- I love it.
Have come home tonight to a beautiful well thought out gift and a lovely supper.
I think it clicked !!!
Thanks everyone for your support!!

Glad you feel it's clicked OP. I wish you good health 💖