Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or whether this is even an issue.
My friend and I are very close and had our ds's about three years ago. We talk everyday and have been eachother's rocks. Her baby daddy is from a different part of the world and hasn't stepped up at all since she had her ds. She's been to visit him and he's been disinterested and irresponsible. He finds it hard to find work and once she found hundreds of messages from other western girls on his phone, most of them on gap years. They broke up and she's been raising ds mostly on her own, with the odd Skype call.
Last week she mentioned to me that it was her baby daddy's 24th birthday. 24! We are mid thirties. She laughed and said he lied about his age when they first met and slept together. But surely you know if someone is 20 right? I mean her ds is 3, they were together for a bit before so he was really young when they met.
I feel like this puts a whole different spin on him not stepping up. I mean not only is he on the other side of the world, from a different culture but he's also a lot younger than us. I know that women who get pregnant at that age and younger have to grow up but I think that's partly due to biology. I think it must be hard for a young man in a different country to comprehend that there is a dc that he can't visit who needs him to get a job.
Am I just making excuses for him? I won't treat her any differently but it will affect the way I see him and his actions.