Bloke who I gave a BJ too has moved close to us

[Sixteenbars]

Sorry TMI!
When I was 17 I was experimenting sexually and gave a random guy a BJ at a house party. Turns out his best mate was actually going to end up as my dp and the father of my two dc's.
Quite soon after we got together dp fell out with this friend, partly due to... that, Partly due to the friend saying dp had changed since we started going out (17 and we thought we were so deep!)
Now the guy has quite innocently bought a house opposite our dd's school, on the next road down from us. I've already bumped into him twice (no acknowledgement from either of us.) Should I mention it to DP? I think he'd laugh but also (strangely) might get a bit paranoid?

Reminds me of the time l got my bf's name wrong when l was doing this once....called him someone l worked with'a name. Well they both began with the same letter so it wasn't my fault!

He's probably forgotten it by now, but it seems you haven't and now you want to tell your partner, maybe your partner has reason to be worried.

He doesn't recognise you. Unless you get down on your knees, he won't.

Your making a big deal out of something tiny (no pun intended), he probably can’t even remember, he’s probably had many a blow job from random people. I wouldn’t be able to leave the house if I worried about bumping into people I had done things with as a teenager 🤣

Is anyone else wondering what kind of mindblowing BJ's the Op gives, if they are likely to cause problems 15 years later?

OP, this is a non-issue to most people. The first person I had sex with is a cousin of the current Mr Carpet. My husband couldn't care less and still thinks my ex is a decent bloke.

"I don't personally have to walk past people I've had sexual contact with most days of the week"

A lot of us do and it isn't worth worrying about.

@SirChing
"is it really bad that loads of the men I have given blow jobs to, could move in next door and I wouldn't have a clue? "

You and me both. Someone let on to me the other week, as I was getting off the bus. I said hello back. I have since wondered if I've ever had sex with them. But I'm in my 50's and actually don't really give a shit. I had a good time in my 30's.

He probably doesn’t even remember or give it a second thought.

Did he actually see your face from that position???

Is anyone else wondering what kind of mindblowing BJ's the Op gives, if they are likely to cause problems 15 years later?

This had me spitting out my tea. OP i tip my hat to you, I'm obviously an amateur as I doubt either me or the recipient would remember the BJ enough to feel awkward 15 days later let alone 15 years!

Reading this I’m just jealous of all the men that seem to be given blow jobs with no expectation of having to return the favour! I don’t think I’ve ever had a man go down on me and leave it at that, they’ve always expected something in return.

Threads like this do make me very glad to be male.

@AnneTwackie

I’m sorry. But that’s fucking hilarious!!! I never think of the teachers having a sexual past that they Might ‘bump’ into!!!!

Oh man. That made me giggle

Just don’t suck him off again

potentially awkward but take control of the narrative a bit. If it comes up, instantly quip ''the ONE and ONLY oat I sowed, and here you are!''

ie, your breezy about it.
and, you were NOT going about giving blow jobs out to every randomer
Your past is your past and you're cool with it.

I wouldn't go racing to disclose this, you owe nobody any explanation.

On a serious note, there’s a lot of mean-spiritedness on this thread. I have only slept with three people. I can remember each of them extremely clearly and two of them were over 20 years ago. If they moved in next door, I would certainly remember them and expect them to remember me!

I don’t think sucking cocks left right and centre is quite as normal as posters on here are making out.

Given that this bloke wasn’t a random pickup in a night club, but someone she knew and continued to know (in awkward circumstances) for a while afterwards, I’d say it’s perfectly normal to feel unsettled by this.

You were both drunken teenagers. Teenagers get up to all sorts.

Let it go.

Jesus if I couldn't be near anyone who's genitals I'd had in my mouth Back in my teen years I probably wouldn't get out much at all

"I’d say it’s perfectly normal to feel unsettled by this."

That someone that you had a minor sexual encounter with, 15 years ago, moves into the area, that you live? No it isn't normal for this to unsettle you.

If her DH finds it unsettling then he's a prize prick.

I live in the same area where I grew up and was a very ‘experimental’ teen! Ergo I regularly chat in the school playground with dads I slept with/gave BJ’s to etc when we were teens, and most of my male friends I have ‘history’ with.

My DP is my neighbour, and his ex wife lives 200m away from me, and my Ex-H is her neighbour. All concerned know eachother and know we’ve all shagged one another or one another’s neighbours at some point. But because we’re all adults with pasts this just isn’t an issue whatsoever.

Tonight me & DP are off out to the 40th birthday of the lad I lost my virginity to, but because we’re all adults it wouldn’t cross our minds to feel weird about it!

Op stop worrying !!! It’s distant history and you need to draw a line under it and let it go 😊

@whataballbag
Jesus if I couldn't be near anyone who's genitals I'd had in my mouth Back in my teen years I probably wouldn't get out much at all

Hence the user name ?

This is really weird. I was in a bar with my husband last week and could've pointed to about 10 men in there that I'd had sex with in the past 🤣 How is this even an issue once you're older than say....18?!?

I don’t think sucking cocks left right and centre is quite as normal as posters on here are making out

Maybe not for you! If people with few sexual partners don't want to be called abnormal, it's probably best not to insinuate that those with more are abnormal. It's 2020. We have largely been able to shag exactly who we wanted since the 70s. For some that's a few and for others it's a lot. As long as everyone is happy, then who cares?

Even the ONS who turned out to work in my Hall of Residence kitchen, who I subsequently saw every day for two terms, I wouldn't recognise. It was 20 odd years ago! And they have probably changed (God I hope he has, shudder!).

It could be worse, OP. I started my shift once and was tasked to go and interview someone who’d been arrested overnight. Let’s call him John Smith. I joked to a colleague that I’d had a ONS with a John Smith once...went to get him out of his cell and yep, it was him. Cue him shouting to all the other prisoners “I’ve fucked her!” The custody sergeant hasn’t let me live it down yet.

OP, don't even think about it. We have mostly all had a sexual past. Often people have had intimate relations with people within their social circle so they see each other regularly. it really is just part of being an adult. It really is a non issue.

What's weird for me is seeing a guy I slept with years and years and years ago (and gave a BJ to if that matters) now playing with his kids on the green as I'm sitting on a park bench with my kids. I see him every few months. It was about 5 years ago when I saw him walking past my kids' school and I thought, "that looks like..." and it was him. I was a bit like, "Really? You had to move all the way over to the remote part of London where I live?"
What's weird is how we walk past each other and nod 'hi'. Normal as normal can be. We've actually stopped and had a really nice chat... not mentioning past blowjobs. But it is surreal isn't it? It's like "We're grown up. We're having a nice chat. We're asking about each other's kids. Thanks for thinking my dog is nice. Your cock's been in my mouth before."