Bloke who I gave a BJ too has moved close to us

[Sixteenbars]

Sorry TMI!
When I was 17 I was experimenting sexually and gave a random guy a BJ at a house party. Turns out his best mate was actually going to end up as my dp and the father of my two dc's.
Quite soon after we got together dp fell out with this friend, partly due to... that, Partly due to the friend saying dp had changed since we started going out (17 and we thought we were so deep!)
Now the guy has quite innocently bought a house opposite our dd's school, on the next road down from us. I've already bumped into him twice (no acknowledgement from either of us.) Should I mention it to DP? I think he'd laugh but also (strangely) might get a bit paranoid?

@BirdieFriendBadge I mean women wise I'm still friends with three of the women I've slept with. And we laugh about it!
I think as a analyse this, it's the ex friendship part that I feel most embarrassed about. He and my DP were inseparable and then they weren't and I played a small part of that. I worry that they would have still been friends. My dp has never met another friend that he was as close to as this guy. I almost wish they would meet accidentally and have a chat.

I was at softplay a while back and i went down the slide, and when I got up I suddenly saw a guy I had given a BJ to when I was about 16. Had to do a double take- then we both smiled a friendly type ‘hi’, then got on with our day.

Laughed about it with DH when we got home.

Honestly this isn’t a big deal. It’s not like I’ve slept with many guys either but it was a long time ago.

Lol I met a guy I gave a BJ to on the other side of the table at parents evening with his wife and daughter!!! We've all done hilariously cringe things, tell you husband, laugh and move on!!

(He did not remember me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️)

I think people are being quite mean to you on here OP. I get it, I would just try not to over think it and say casually to your DH 'oh see whathisname moved in round the corner, might be worth trying make friends again, what do you think' (seeing as they were best mates and has not had one since). Keep it casual and go with whatever he prefers.

Seriously, he probably won’t even remember you or recognise you after all this time and even if he does, he’s unlikely to care. You’re massively over thinking this.

It was 15 years ago. You were 17. Put it down to one of life’s experiences and forget about it. It’s a non-issue.

Don't ignore him. Acknowledge him briefly then forget it.

Do you think BJ man has told his dp about it? He may be feeling the same way as you and never want to discuss it ever again.

He probably doesn't even remember. Nobody cares about who they gave blow jobs to or got them from 15 years ago....

He probably doesn't even remember. Nobody cares about who they gave blow jobs to or got them from 15 years ago
This

He probably doesn’t even remember who you are. You’re making a big deal out of something that doesn’t need to be. Me and DH have bumped into loads of our exes over the years and we’ve never been paranoid lol just say hello and carry on with our day because the past is the past. I’m sure BJ guy has moved on with life too.

“The past is a foreign country and they do things differently there”. EM Forster.

Your past is nothing to do with anybody else. Before Xmas, l bumped into someone I’d had sex with and i’m still friends with a few other people l’d had sex with too.

OP I think you need a little more to worry about!

Oh dear op. You sound like a giggly teenager. Honestly - he won’t care, you really shouldn’t and get over it, I doubt he’s there for you....

Wow 😆. Surely anyone that hasn't moved too far from their home towns regularly sees people they had experiences with before their current partners. It's pretty rare for people to have had only one sexual partner these days and I know plenty folk who have ended up with friends of people they originally had some sort of fling or relationship with. It's hard not to in smaller towns/more rural areas. You are massively over thinking this ... 15 years!

So it's completely normal, you just carry on as if you don't know them?

No I'd probably say 'oh hi nice to see you, it's been a while'

I don't think I'd give the 15 year old brief encounter a seconds thought

Well someone at work gave me a blowjob once and we saw each other pretty much every working day for the following ten years! It wasn't a problem.

An ex boyfriend from 25 years ago bought a house on my road. Our respective kids sometimes play together and we lend each other garden tools/feed pets/take in parcel deliveries. It's so long ago it's a non issue.

I'm still great friends with several men that I've had much more intimate contact with than a 'random party blow job' 😂

People don't generally vanquish ex-lovers to cyberspace you know! In fact, my cousin is married to one of mine...it would be pretty tricky to avoid him 🤷‍♀️. And guess what...funnily enough, we don't reminisce about our wild sexual encounters at every family BBQ!

Grow up, is my advice.

What!? It was 15 years ago - you were kids. Anyone who still cares about this needs to grow up!

A guy I briefly dated started working in the IT department of the college I work at. I don’t deal with that department often but saw him once on my way to the library and was a bit taken aback. I dated him briefly as a teenager and I dumped him because he used to go do a poo then come back and describe the consistency of it .

Anyway! My point is, I haven’t really given that much thought and I think you’re overthinking this as well.

A guy who i had a few ons with after me and my ex husband divorced, moved in 3 doors down from me 10 years later. Was quite a shock but didnt bother me in the slightest.

This isn't an unusual situation, we've all had to work with people we've banged or got off with at the Christmas party (or is it just me?!)

Anyway, the point is- its life and its really no big deal. This is even less of a big deal as it was 15 years ago FGS! Just carry on with your life as normal and dont give this a second thought. You really are making a mountain out of a molehill with this.

I slept with 2 people from my group of uni friends (one in first year and one a couple of years after we finished uni) they both have relationships and I'm friends with them all. It isn't a taboo subject. It happened at that time and nothing since. It isn't weird.

You seem to be putting some sort of meaning on sexual experiences that doesn't necessarily exist

Clearly it does exist for OP and it’s inevitable that it does for someone who’s only had two sexual partners.