Bloke who I gave a BJ too has moved close to us

[Sixteenbars]

Sorry TMI!
When I was 17 I was experimenting sexually and gave a random guy a BJ at a house party. Turns out his best mate was actually going to end up as my dp and the father of my two dc's.
Quite soon after we got together dp fell out with this friend, partly due to... that, Partly due to the friend saying dp had changed since we started going out (17 and we thought we were so deep!)
Now the guy has quite innocently bought a house opposite our dd's school, on the next road down from us. I've already bumped into him twice (no acknowledgement from either of us.) Should I mention it to DP? I think he'd laugh but also (strangely) might get a bit paranoid?

The past is a foreign country and they do things differently there”. EM Forster

The past is another country and they do things differently there”. L P Hartley in The Go Between.

I thought this was gunna be some cheating thread about you giving a blow job on the sly and he's moved round the corner!

You're really overthinking it. Look on the bright side, at least he's not your DC's teacher

The title for this is like you see on some magazine in the shops like love it! take a break etc.

You are definitely overthinking this. I can guarantee he's had BJs since you in the last 15 years and hasn't given it another thought. He may not even recall it. Move on

I doubt he even remembers it

OP, I would feel very uncomfortable too.

Haven't RTWT but the thing a lot of PPs, in their rush to judge you and to display their expertise in sarcasm and snark, seemed to have missed is that this man was not a random, but was your DP's best friend.

I would probably mention very casually to DP that I saw him. Despite your discomfort, if you have to interact with him, just play it off because to others it is not a big deal.

At 17 you sucked a cock 🤷🏻‍♀️ Since then you’ve sucked other cocks, become an adult, had dc and got married....

Just don’t suck him off again

I moved away from where I grew up and things like this remind me why I made the right decision.
I didn't want my past to be part of my children's future. The "how do you know him mummy?" questions are far more avoidable.
I would tell DH.

I doubt he even remembers a random, inexperienced BJ years ago.

I didn't say you were abnormal OP, I said it is an abnormally low number of relationships to have which it absolutely is. I said you were overthinking it because of that.

I did not say this was either a bad or a good thing. You didn't ask that.

Do not accuse me of suggesting YOU were abnormal, all I suggested is only having ONE relationship is NOT the norm. Hence your (IMO) overreaction.

FFS. HTH.

Agree with PP that you clearly want a bit of drama.

Don't ignore him. Acknowledge him briefly then forget it.

Yeah with the old move

'm sorry, but the fact that you don't think that you can 'all move past it' as it is looks like you seem to want a bit of drama to be honest. You gave a blowy to a lad 15 years ago, what are you actually wanting to happen now other than just forget it - you all sit round a table and discuss it? They sell their house and move away? What?
Absolutely agree with this.
Is your marriage boring to the point where you’re hoping a BJ 15 years ago will spice things up a bit and provide a bit of fuel to the fire?

I wouldn't give it another thought or mention it to your DP.

It's fine OP.

However one piece of advice. If you feel the only thing you can talk to him about is a BJ you gave him 15 years ago.. then maybe limit your conversation to polite pleasantries until another topic presents itself

Otherwise just carry on as normal..There will be loads of people about in the same situation

Is it really bad that loads of the men I have given blow jobs to, could move in next door and I wouldn't have a clue?

Oh, but sorry for thr hard time you are getting OP. It's bound to be weird if you have only had two relationships with men. Just deal with it the same as the women you have slept with. If your DP has an issue, tell him to grow up. You should be able to laugh together at this stuff.

He will also be embarrassed, you've both matured. Just carry on as if nothing happened.

OP, I sympathise. But though I might feel a bit embarrassed, I’d laugh it off. I’d feel a bit odd not acknowledging someone I recognised from long ago. Might mention to DP that a former mate of his had moved nearby. No big deal, though.
We’ve all got a past and all done silly things. Yours was very minor. I’m not admitting to mine!

Hang on, you are still friends with 3 of the women you slept with, so you see them regularly/every now and then, and act like nothing happens, but you walk past a guy you gave a blow job to 15 years ago and you are unsure of how to react?

Had this happen. I walked into my DH office and a guy I had slept with before came walking out. Nearly ran into him!

I felt a bit silly inside but we didn't acknowledge each other and I never said anything to DH. You may feel a little weird like I did, but he may not even remember and it's been many years and doesn't matter anymore. Don't mention it to DH. It's waaaayyy in the past.

*happened, not happens

Why is this even a thing?!

Should I mention it to DP?
No. I think you should continue with your excellent plan of not acknowledging this bloke whenever you see him, guarding the secret of him moving in opposite you closely to your heart, & spending the rest of your life in a ridiculous sit-com, agonising over the fact that some random from ancient history has moved house.
It'll all be fine, because your DH is never going to ALSO bump into someone who lives a couple of streets away, is he?

I think he'd laugh but also (strangely) might get a bit paranoid?
This may sound radical Sixteen, but why don't you deal with the way you are feeling, & let your DH deal with the way he is feeling?

What really puzzles me is why you think any of this is a big deal.
Or why you want to conceal it from your husband.
WTF is going on with you that you haven't already breezily remarked to DH "oh guess what, Gary's moved in down the road."?

Maybe try that.

Every time you see him you have to do blow job face at him. It’s the law.