Bloke who I gave a BJ too has moved close to us

[Sixteenbars]

Sorry TMI!
When I was 17 I was experimenting sexually and gave a random guy a BJ at a house party. Turns out his best mate was actually going to end up as my dp and the father of my two dc's.
Quite soon after we got together dp fell out with this friend, partly due to... that, Partly due to the friend saying dp had changed since we started going out (17 and we thought we were so deep!)
Now the guy has quite innocently bought a house opposite our dd's school, on the next road down from us. I've already bumped into him twice (no acknowledgement from either of us.) Should I mention it to DP? I think he'd laugh but also (strangely) might get a bit paranoid?

OP, I have had very few partners too. It's not abnormal at all, it's a perfectly valid choice. But yes, like others have said, the "protocol" is to pretend you don't remember that bit and just treat him the same as any other familiar face from long ago, with a brief nod and polite smile.

I live in DH's hometown and we're always bumping into someone he dated/slept with when younger. I like to relentlessly take the piss, they're all quite pretty/accomplished. I take it as a compliment he loves me most of all. Don't worry about it, being weird about some random hookup 15 years later makes it seem like it is a bigger deal than it should be.

Definitely mention it to DP. Everyday you should say 'I saw that bloke I gave a BJ to again today'. It's also much better if you never give your DP a BJ. Adds extra frission

As others have said, this man may not even remember a blowjob at a party 15 years ago. I'd say hello if you pass him in the street and he recognises you, but stop stressing about it and don't tell DH. It's not important.

Is this another Philip Schofield thread?

I had sex with one of my DP’s friends before we got together.. it’s actually how we met 😂 his friend had come to pick me up from my night out to go back to his and DP had come with him and the three of us sat talking on the car until the early hours before I went back to his friends house for a ONS.

We still see him now 💁🏼‍♀️ I think I’m a fairly open person, I went through a phase also at 17 of just wanting to try new things and new people so I had one night stands. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed.

If you can’t look someone in face and have a conversation 15 years after a blowjob then there’s something wrong.

Your husband just needs to suck it up (no pun intended) too.

One willy on the lips is a lifetime on the neighbourhood hips!

Don’t mention it to your DP he will probably wonder why you still remember. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. I have no idea how many exes my DH has, nor he me, it’s not relevant.

It's pretty normal to still see people you had some sort of relaitonship with.

One of my DH's closest friends is a woman he was with for a couple of years. She and her family have stayed at our house several times and vice versa. (Actually, they were in a circle of friends at uni where most of them slept with each other, so I still see loads of his former flames). It is no sort of issue for us. Her husband on the other hand has a little tendency to get drunk and get all moody about it. But considering they have older teenage children and ours are coming up to teens we all just think he needs to get over it.

I have a good friend who I gave a drunken blow job to before I even met DH. He lives abroad now and when in the UK stays with us. He is my friend... we are still good friends and neither of us have given much thought to the BJ I think!

It happens. The bigger issue is if this guy is still juvenile enough to bad mouth you. THAT is much more important!!

(and no, all you pun lovers out there.. 'bad mouth' was a no pun intended!)

You feel how you feel. Don’t let the Chuckle Brothers on here bother you.

But overall, I wouldn’t worry about it myself.

I’m still friends with about 6 guys I’ve given bjs to. I’ve been with dh for 11 years! We went to one’s wedding together. And I’m friends with this ex’s wife. You just carry on and don’t get weird about it. It’s not a big deal.

Ye dont worry about it. I slept with a few of my hubby's friends before I met him. It's just life. I'd guess your dh wasnt a virgin before meeting you?

I just think if it was a kiss, we could all move past it but this was a bit more intimate.

I'm sorry, but the fact that you don't think that you can 'all move past it' as it is looks like you seem to want a bit of drama to be honest. You gave a blowy to a lad 15 years ago, what are you actually wanting to happen now other than just forget it - you all sit round a table and discuss it? They sell their house and move away? What?

I think the issue actually isn’t what you did, it’s that your DH made you feel a bit shit about it many years ago. And he and a mate lost a friendship over it. All fairly childish, but at 17 you were all children. I’d probably not mention it, and try to just move past it, but if your DH works it out and brings it up then that’s totally out of line. Everyone is allowed a past, everyone is allowed to have things that they regret (you might not regret this, I can’t actually see a reason to beyond your DH’s reaction). It sounds like this other guy possibly liked you at the time and was annoyed that you chose his mate. Or maybe his mate really did change when he got a girlfriend. Either way it’s pretty irrelevant after all this time!

I very much doubt he even remembers the blowjob, OP. There isn’t an issue to be made here.

Having only two sexual partners is abnormal because it’s out of the norm of what most people do. That doesn’t make it wrong but YMMV if you have an internal chip on your shoulder and thus are sensitive and defensive about it.

Yeah, you should just forget about this and move on OP. I had a fling with DH's best mate before DH and I got together. They are still best mates. It's not ideal but I can't change it, so we have just put it behind us.

I get it OP.

I've had very few sexual partners so if one of them moved in round the corner i'd be cringing a bit too.

The advice is right though- there's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Crikey, it was years ago. Who cares. One of the school mums I know shagged my now exH when they were teenagers. We had a laugh about it together and I told her that he had improved. No-one cares!

My abusive ex moved into the next street from me with the woman he left me for, and I bump into them both regularly. DH knew all about it, he would just nod at them if they acknowledged us, ignore them if they didn't. It didn't cause any issues for any of us, they didn't know where we lived when they bought the house. It happens, the world is a small place.

Yeah this would do my head in to. It’s embarrassing.

Just brazen it out and pretend you don’t even see him.

I would mention it to your dh because if he ever sees him at pick up he’ll ask why you never mentioned it.

‘Oh god guess who’s moved in near D.C. school?’

Dh and I tease each other over our ex’s but I suppose it’s down to your dp feelings towards how he felt about it at the time. If it was my ex I was with he’d be demanding I wore I bag over my head at pick up!

Haha I can tell you didn't go to uni.

Basically any uni get together/wedding I'm in a room of people I've kissed/been fingered by/given a blow job.

My DH was in that uni group and it's the same for him. It's kind of weird I have friends who've slept with him, but we were all drunk and as bad as each other.

We were all 18-21 that's what happens. Just laugh it off and get on with it.

Don't be so judgemental BillieEilish. Some people just happen to meet their life partner early on.

I'd mention it like I would with bumping in with anyone I know. Why would he be paranoid about his former friend that you gave a bj once? I aassume this was a long time ago?

I wouldn’t see it as a problem. I once saw my old fuck buddy at a job interview (after I got married) and we had a good catch up. It didn’t seem awkward at all tbh.