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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think who eats a family meal to themselves?!

588 replies

GimmeTheSnacks · 05/02/2020 23:44

I made a meal this evening ready for tomorrow as the chicken needed cooking. It was cooling down on the side before putting it in the fridge. The next thing I know dp is home from work then walks in with a huge plate of it. It looked like a lot so I asked if he'd reheated the whole thing to which he replied "no I've saved ds (5) some as I know how much he likes it". I explained it was for tea tomorrow and he said I should have told him when he got home.

He has enough common sense to know I will have cooked it for another days meal so this was just so selfish. He can be selfish with food in terms of snacks but he's never done it with a meal before. There were 4 chicken breasts in it ffs!

Aibu to think this was out of order and selfish?

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 07/02/2020 10:01

Ideas for 'non-food'?

Soup! Men like this don't think soup is a proper meal.
Toasted sandwiches.
Picnic/buffet/bits.
Salad as a main.

katewhinesalot · 07/02/2020 10:03

Anyway.....he came home 2hrs after me and asked what there was for tea. I said the chicken curry he ate last night!

Grin Grin

😂

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/02/2020 10:10

The more you post about him, the worse he sounds.

salad gets called "green shit

But a pot noodle is a meal? Tell him to crack on and cook his own shit then.

Great answer re: 'What's for tea?'.

5foot5 · 07/02/2020 10:44

Anyway.....he came home 2hrs after me and asked what there was for tea. I said the chicken curry he ate last night!

Ha! Nice one! But what did he say. Did he even have the decency to look a bit shame-faced?

MaybeNew · 07/02/2020 10:46

This thread is pretty awful. Greed is not good...

I have 2 teenagers and a DH with hollow legs but none of them could eat that amount of food for a meal or snack.

I would point out the greed and selfishness of eating so much food to any of my 3 and I would be very direct about it.

If I was the OP, then I would simply say that until the DH contributed to the food budget, he was not being included in any of the meal planning and had to fend for himself. I would shop daily if I could, hide food and make sure that I was not feeding him.

To be honest, I have never met a person who was only selfish and greedy about one thing. And in this case, it sounds like the OP is doing all the childcare too. He needs to behave like an adult.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/02/2020 10:51

Stir fry with tofu and lots of veg?
Sweet potatoes
Rice paper rolls
Hummus and crudités

Blackandgreenteas · 07/02/2020 12:02

Can you make your own pizzas, with maybe bought based if you can afford them but make your own tomato sauce, and let the kids add cheese and a bit of ham or whatever? He probably won’t want to scoff something made by the kids!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/02/2020 12:19

I LOVE your answer to "what's for tea tonight?", Gimmethesnacks - nice one! Grin

I can only agree with the posters suggesting that you should make more "non-meals" on a regular basis and let him feed himself.
At some point he might get it.

TheHonestTruth100 · 07/02/2020 12:31

Only read the first and last few pages of this thread so maybe I've missed something, but just sounded like a misunderstanding to me like he assumed it was today's dinner and that you'd already eaten?

If he hasn't done it before then I don't see what the outrage is about, he knows not to do it again without asking you first now. But he should certainly be in charge of sorting out dinner for the following day!!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/02/2020 12:38

Yes you’ve missed something

CorianderLord · 07/02/2020 12:40

As a grown up I would expect DP to ask if there were plans for the giant bowl of chicken in the kitchen before helping himself. .. no one just cooks chicken for snacks

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/02/2020 12:57

maybe I've missed something

TheHonestTruth. Yes, you’ve missed quite a lot actually. Hmm

00Sassy · 07/02/2020 13:11

In our house there would have been a conversation (considering that it would be bloody obvious that I’d spent time preparing the meal)
‘Oooh your chicken curry, my fave! Is it supposed to be for tomorrow? I’ll just have mine now actually, can’t resist!
Yours and dc’s is saved for tomorrow and I’ll just grab a pot noodle or whatever. Thanks for the amazing curry. I’ll make a start on the dishes’

Simple! Grin

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 07/02/2020 15:20

ChazsBrilliantAttitude he refuses to go to the drs for anything as he says they'll just tell him to lose weight and he already knows he needs to.

SchadenfreudePersonified we eat veggie a lot tbh! I don't like a lot of meat and I'm the cook so that's that!

OP posts:
Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 07/02/2020 15:25

OlaEliza yesss I have a toasted sandwich maker and I inherited a soup maker!

5foot5 He looked confused, muttered something, banged about in the kitchen and produced a pot noodle and ate it with puppy dog eyes!

Thanks for everyones non meals suggestions! Pizza will make an appearance as he hates it!

OP posts:
Happy101 · 07/02/2020 15:47

God I can understand why you are annoyed OP, I'd be fuming. In my house food isn't an issue at all, but DH isn't a fat pig when it comes to it, so we haven't really had any issues. But it's about curtesy if i'm hungry and I see a a whole (emphasis on the whole) lasagne in the fridge i'd ask DP what it's for and vice versa, certainly wouldn't eat the whole thing. If its a little square piece in some tupperware i'll eat it.

Sounds like the issues go a little deeper than him just eating all the curry. It's about him not respecting your time, and his consumption of food is having a whole affect on the family.

Sickofrain · 07/02/2020 16:02

Maybe he was hungry? It's only some chicken!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/02/2020 16:05

Just RTFT or bore off

Oulu · 07/02/2020 16:05

RTFT, @Sickofrain. He'd already had tea, so can't have been that hungry. It wasn't "only some chicken", it was a chicken curry for five.

AlexaAmbidextra · 07/02/2020 16:05

Maybe he was hungry? It's only some chicken!

Misses the point spectacularly.

MarchDaffs · 07/02/2020 16:11

Anyone got a cheque to cancel?

ArthurMorgan · 07/02/2020 16:59

Maybe he was hungry? It's only some chicken!

😂😂😂

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 07/02/2020 17:29

Sickofrain often have a small snack of a family of 4 sized portion of chicken, potato and vegetable curry with a teeny tiny sprinkling of a whole packet of microwave rice do you?

OP posts:
mumof2exhausted · 07/02/2020 17:34

Sorry am I the only one genuinely confused why you need to cook chicken breasts the day before? Takes 10 mins to stir fry / 20ish mins to oven bake?? I use leftover roast chicken for meals next day but can’t really understand logic of doing this. Surely chicken tastiest when freshly cooked?

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 07/02/2020 17:40

@mumof2exhausted the op has 3 dc under 5 including a 4 month old and she works. Also the chicken was going out of date so needed cooking

And actually curry tastes better the day after