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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think who eats a family meal to themselves?!

588 replies

GimmeTheSnacks · 05/02/2020 23:44

I made a meal this evening ready for tomorrow as the chicken needed cooking. It was cooling down on the side before putting it in the fridge. The next thing I know dp is home from work then walks in with a huge plate of it. It looked like a lot so I asked if he'd reheated the whole thing to which he replied "no I've saved ds (5) some as I know how much he likes it". I explained it was for tea tomorrow and he said I should have told him when he got home.

He has enough common sense to know I will have cooked it for another days meal so this was just so selfish. He can be selfish with food in terms of snacks but he's never done it with a meal before. There were 4 chicken breasts in it ffs!

Aibu to think this was out of order and selfish?

OP posts:
comingintomyown · 07/02/2020 17:42

What did he say about eating it ?

lynney88 · 07/02/2020 17:44

I batch cook often and I'd literally lose my dinger if someone ate the food made for the week.

It is cooked, stored eaten and any leftovers that arent cooked are up for grabs, used for lunches or frozen.

Eating almost a whole curry to himself with 4 chicken breasts is utter greed.

OP I am with you. If people dont have to budget they are seriously lucky. And also stop making excuses for utter selfishness.

No doubt it has been left to OP to cook another meal tonight.

Hsldl · 07/02/2020 17:58

He hates pizza?! LTB! He's not right Grin

FelicisNox · 07/02/2020 18:13

YANBU but your OH is and so are the reems of people making ridiculous excuses for him.

He came home at 10pm, ate what was clearly a meal for a whole family dinner and ate the lot.

  • He didn't ask OP why it was there and if it was ok to eat any.
  • He didn't leave enough left over for anyone but a 5yr old.
  • He is old enough to make make himself an appropriate snack if he is hungry because he is an ADULT.

All these pathetic women bleating on about how hungry he is and how mean OP is and how flattered they would be if such a thing occurred in their houses must have really tiny self esteem to be so enabling and so desperate for validation.

I would be bloody raging. It IS selfish and it IS greedy and he needs to be taught a lesson and it starts with him having no dinner tomorrow as he's already eaten it. Leave him what he left for your 5yr old and make sure you and the kids have something nice before he gets home.

There is such a thing as good manners and respect, he also needs to understand that if he is going to create more work for you (because you will have cooked 2 dinners instead of one) then you are within your rights to make him cook his own dinners for the foreseeable.

My husband complained about his dinner once (20 yrs ago) so I didn't cook for him for 2 wks, neither did I do any of his laundry, nor did he get laid.

I've not had a complaint since. Grin

MummyDolly · 07/02/2020 18:15

My partner does this with drinks. Buys big bottles of whatever and canes it off but then when he buys me or my son a drink it’s always the standard size ones. Or he eats snacks and puts the empty wrappers back so I don’t know we’ve run out ffs xx

DameFanny · 07/02/2020 18:17

Non meals for OP:

Spanish omelette - can be made in advance too
Mixed bean goulash (Jack Monroe recipe)
Chopped salad with black olives and feta
Curried lentil soup

All coeliac-friendly and vegetarian

Also - who the fuck eats gluten free biscuits that doesn't need to? Those things are mostly very awful indeed Sad

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 07/02/2020 18:27

Sorry am I the only one genuinely confused why you need to cook chicken breasts the day before? Gosh I think you might be the only one as others have rtft. The chicken was going to be out of date the next day so thought I'd make the curry then wouldn't have to cook another night. And as others have said, curry is best on the second day.

OP posts:
Cloglover · 07/02/2020 18:42

I object to the greedy comments. Some people have big appetites. But it was very very selfish and rude to not ask you whether the food was earmarked for a specific meal. I would never walk into the kitchen and help myself to food I hadn't prepared.

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 07/02/2020 18:52

DameFanny I was diagnosed aged 5 so don't really know any different apart from I remember weetabix so very fondly!!! He apparently didn't know they were gluten free (he can read and it says it on the bright green lable on the packet). They were triple chocolate cookies...delicious!!! Or would have been Sad

MummyDolly Yes, we sometimes treat ourselves to a pack of cans each or a bottle of pop each. He dows all of his and then half of mine!

OP posts:
DameFanny · 07/02/2020 19:23
Sad

Take some of the joint house money and get a lock box for biscuits

And maybe put less money into the joint account so you've still got money for everyone's food - is it worth going through the budget again with him and telling him his McDonald's habit has to come from his own money?

Original poster
GimmeTheSnacks · 07/02/2020 19:25

@Cloglover I didn't use the word greedy for over a decade due to how emotive it is for some people. I recall aged 4 or 5 my mum calling me a "greedy fat pig" for eating a fat free yogurt (I didn't know about the added sugar in them at that age)

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 07/02/2020 19:32

I think the word greedy is spot on in this scenario.

Cloglover · 07/02/2020 19:32

@GimmeTheSnacks apols, I wasn't specifically referring to you calling him greedy (you may have or not but you would be forgen as you have every right to be angry!) but lots of other people had and its their job to be objective. Some people can't help having a big appetite. I am an emotional eater so sometimes I am never full! What an awful thing for a mum to say to their child. Big hugs. Clearly that was her shit, not yours but what 4 year old would know that. So much damage can be done with words :-(

PickAChew · 07/02/2020 19:35

Halved toasting muffins make great bases for home made pizzas for the kids.

Quesadillas are easy.

Cloglover · 07/02/2020 19:37

Unless he's very overweight and his health is suffering because of it, an adult is more than allowed to have a bloody great big meal if they want. And if some people want to call that greedy so be it, but that seems a bit mean spirited. The issue is that it wasn't his to have and it was selfish. It's also very childish to not even think that your actions might have consequences.

Rachel709 · 07/02/2020 19:46

Tell him he is cooking tomorrow. Did he think it was tonight's dinner?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/02/2020 19:55

He is very overweight and he won’t go to the doctor

MrsWhites · 07/02/2020 19:57

Some absolutely batshit comments on here!

Budget, greed, hunger or any other issues aside. What kind of respectful, civilised partner goes into a kitchen and serves themselves that amount of food - leaving hardly any, without asking? That’s not asking permission that’s just being considerate to the other members of his family! It’s not like the OP has a problem with him taking snacks from the fridge for example!

His selfishness is astounding to me, especially given the McDonald’s update, I can’t believe anyone is defending him to be honest!

GYNisaliarWTF · 07/02/2020 20:00

@GimmeTheSnacks I’d just like to say that half a packet of microwave rice alongside a portion of chicken curry with vegetables is absolutely plenty for any person. Whilst that wasn’t originally up for question, u thought I’d back you as you’ve apparently got to justify yourself to the perfect quiet wife brigade.
Unfortunately you haven’t managed to even get that point, because the fat fucker has snaffled it all. My DP would do the same to be honest, and I’d be equally fucked off. Get yourself out tomorrow night gal and let him cook for him and the kids. Sit on a park bench with a cone of chips if you have to but I’d refuse to even be in the house when the actual Saturday evening meal goes down, as you’ll be putrid from 4pm onwards just on the basis that dinner would have happened from this time onwards. Then at 10pm you’ll probably make some bad dig about him consuming an entire chicken just 24 hours prior. Grin

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 07/02/2020 20:03

Cloglover
It’s the selfishness that makes it greedy in my view rather than the amount. He ate the family’s dinner without a thought for the potential impact on everyone else. He ate the OP’s gluten free biscuits because he liked the idea of them more than the other biscuits in the house. To me greed is eating without caring you are depriving others.

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2020 20:08

Op, why are you with him? You've people hurling abuse at your husband and you're basically egging them on and loving it.

Why be with someone if you can't stand them? You clearly can't stand your husband and are relishing him being abused, for both your sakes Why not end it?

Lightlyfebreezed · 07/02/2020 20:09

Well, no wonder so many people are fat, and so many men entitled. I have a big appetite and am at the higher end of a healthy BMI and it would be total madness to assume all that was a leftover snack for one person

Aridane · 07/02/2020 20:13

Man eats curry intended for the next day's family meal. 600 posts later...

Cloglover · 07/02/2020 20:50

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude
Absolutely agree about greedy/selfish.
I just hate the whole greedypig/greedy comments. Because it lacks insight into why people over eat and shames people who deal with their emotions through food. X
Am guilty of not having read the whole thread so am going back to have a read.

MaybeNew · 07/02/2020 20:58

According to the Collins Dictionary

‘If you describe someone as GREEDY, you mean that they want to have more of something such as food or power than is necessary or fair.’

Seems spot on to me.