Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

When I went in the 1990s, I used a backpack and took the train - even though both my parents were drivers at the time

I did too, but at the beginning and end of term I needed to be taken by car, had plenty of stuff to take there and back. And kids have more now eg laptops.

Oh and you're welcome from all non drivers (I have a legitimate reason you have deemed acceptable as I have epilepsy - go me!) for us reducing our collective carbon footprint by using public transport or being single car households. Thanks for your environmental damage and weird obsession with other people's decisions

The eco issue is a bit of a red herring here. We have two cars but probably cause a lot less pollution than someone with one, as (a) one car is a hybrid, (b) I work from home and (c) DH takes the train and walks to the station.

The point isn't that you use the car when you could use other means, it's the fact that you can use it and don't have to rely on other people. Or indeed you could borrow someone else's car for a very occasional journey. If we had a car pool in our town we'd probably only have one car but having two is just too useful and avoids calling in favours all the time.

My SIL doesn't drive as her eyesight is too bad. I suspect she has paid as much out in taxi fares as she would have done on running a car. And she lives in south east London with a good bus network which has made life much easier for her but she had to get a taxi to and from work because the buses didn't work - and that was in London.

I am honestly glad to see the replies on this thread. I am 29 and don't drive, I have failed the tests several times due to nerves and haven't tried for around 5 years now.
I come from a middle-class environment where all of my friends, including myself, had their lessons paid for at 17/18.
All of them passed except me, all now have a car except one who lives in London.
I have been teased for not being able to drive and I have been frequently asked if i'm going to start learning again.
I am honestly surprised at the amount of replies from ladies who can't drive either, as I thought it was rare.
I think driving is a useful skill to have, but it's not the be all and end all in life. I would like to drive simply as public transport is rubbish where I live; I take over an hour to get to work, a car would take 25 minutes.
However driving is expensive, and owning a car is usually more expensive than public transport.
It's unreasonable to expect people to pull out £25-30 an hour for lessons, plus the costs of theory, practical tests etc.
Having a car is a necessity for some but a luxury for others. I think if people don't want to learn to drive then that's absolutely ok, and it's better for the environment.
I'm having my teeth fixed at the moment so can't afford lessons right now, but i've applied for higher-paying jobs so that I hopefully can afford it. This thread has made me feel a lot better though as I've sometimes been embarrassed to admit I can't drive.

The point isn't that you use the car when you could use other means, it's the fact that you can use it and don't have to rely on other people. Or indeed you could borrow someone else's car for a very occasional journey. If we had a car pool in our town we'd probably only have one car but having two is just too useful and avoids calling in favours all the time.

But it seems to be unacceptable to OP that some of us really don't rely on other people. Some of us manage just fine as non drivers.

It's easy to say "yes, but..." to a stranger who states they don't do something, in this case relying on favours and CFery.

The reality is there are many, many non drivers who don't rely on drivers or call in favours, who take responsibility for getting from A to B.

It's unfair to paint all non drivers as being lazy and selfish, all reliant on favours and pisstaking.

And if someone simply doesn't want to drive, their partner is genuinely happy to be the driver in the family and the non driver is aware of the risks of not being able to drive (using public transport when they are elderly etc) and they still on balance just don't want to drive, that's fine too.

Horses for courses.

Lots of reasons OP.

Medical (even conditions that the dvla wouldn’t prohibit but still make it more difficult)

Anxiety. Just as real as physical illness.

No childcare to learn.

Nobody willing to teach.

Can’t afford lessons.

No confidence

No support

Fear of spending all that money and still failing.

The learner insurance might be low but it sure isn’t once you pass!

None of these apply to me but all have at one point or another. I drove now. Didn’t for ages.

Bus every 10 minutes where I live. Bus/train/taxi/plane and walk for everywhere we need to go. The amount of people I offend who offer me a lift and I thankfully decline and make my own way. I much prefer to get around under my own steam. Anyone who judges a non driver, says far more about themselves and who that are as a human being than it does about the person they are judging.

I think times are changing and for a lot of people, learning to drive is either not very important or not even on the radar. Take big cities like my home in Manchester. If you live and work in or close to the city you can easily walk or commute. A car becomes an unnecessary expense,a liability and a hindrance.

I drive at work every day in all weathers. I often look at the traffic and think, wow, you would need nerves of steel to learn these days as the traffic is so crazy with so much ill discipline.

these days as the traffic is so crazy with so much ill discipline
round my way lots of elderly people in big fuck off 4 x 4's who don't care if they take out a few people along the way!!

What if you were going to travel on holiday by train but the trains are cancelled for the next couple of day for whatever reason. I can then have another option and drive, while those of you who don’t drive will have to postpone your holiday for a couple of days, unless you all have personal chauffeurs. Also when you rely on a taxi you can never guarantee what time they will turn up, I on the other hand can jump in my car and off I go, I don’t have to wait for anyone, it’s all down to me I love driving, it opens a whole new world, best thing I ever did was pass my test, also a lot of jobs want you to be able to drive so if needed you can go to other sites that maybe there isn’t any trains or buses that go to that destination.

If trains are cancelled, there are replacement bus services.

You sound like you’re over-reliant on your car Gin96!

@Gin96 I've always travelled a day prior and stayed in a hotel by the airport the night before. Takes the stress out then. Would never travel on the day of flying. I've seen the episodes on TV when people get stuck in their cars behind accidents or in the car park at miss their flights.

Do you think the entire train network shutting down for a couple of days is something that happens frequently Gin96? I've only ever known that happen once and it was for severe snow where driving would have been a very bad idea as well.

I have another option though that isn’t available to those of you who don’t drive. I wouldn’t have been employed in the job I do if I didn’t drive. Most jobs you apply for now ask if you have a clean driving license. It does limit your options if you can’t drive.

Most jobs you apply for now ask if you have a clean driving license. It does limit your options if you can’t drive.

That depends on what jobs you apply for. None that I have ever applied for or am likely to apply for. And my institution is working hard to discourage staff from driving unnecessarily.

So do you really want me to be out there polluting the athmosphere (even my driving lessons would be adding to that) just because somebody else who isn't me might really benefit from having a driving licence on their CV?

I wouldn’t have been employed in the job I do if I didn’t drive
thats great, some jobs require a person to be a driver, others dont, I like my simplified car-free life, I dont want the hindrance of a vehicle to worry about and I like having a good reason not to go places I dont want to go to.
I have never expected lifts to places, if anything I have offended people by refusing lifts because I prefer to walk or cycle

I love driving, it opens a whole new world

Oh get over yourself.

Because no non driver ever has seen or experienced this new world I assume?

Most jobs you apply for now ask if you have a clean driving license
I wouldn't say most do at all, obviously your limited from jobs that require it, but that's not the majority of jobs available.

I don't think jobs legally can require a clean driving license unless driving is an important part of the job, otherwise it would be disability discrimination, surely?

I have a friend that gives me nearly monthly lifts to Costco. She drives ,I don't. She doesn't have a card, I do. So if she wants me to go and get her in to do her shopping she drives. Sometimes I'll buy something too,but most times I don't.

I've also been told by friends 'driving gives you so much freedom and independence'.
However, all these things are accessible by public transport ? Unless you live in a very rural area, anyone is free to go and take a bus/train to wherever, we aren't waiting to be driven there.
Not having a driving licence does not mean you are less independent.

Most jobs you apply for now ask if you have a clean driving license. It does limit your options if you can’t drive.

As another poster said, it depends on the job. I am in my early thirties and have never had anything but a driver’s permit and have worked several different fields without the need for a license. I even had a job that had me delivering items to other places and currently in one where I’ve had to drop off something else or go to another office to cover for someone and I was easily able to get there with public transport. Often, it was quicker to take a bus/train than drive.

Many of those with cars take a bus in because there is rarely available parking.

On what planet is everything easily accessible by public transport? In rural Scotland, on a Sunday, you'd wait a long time for a bus. The nearest station is 100 miles or more away. No taxis. Uber doesn't exist. You wouldn't want to ride your bike in the lashing rain or pouring wind.

And it just takes sooooo long. Last Sunday DH and I decided we'd go to the Bannockburn exhibition from where we live near Glasgow. 40 minutes in the car. Had we used public transport it'd be a 15 minute walk to the station, 25 minutes into the city, another 30 minutes on a train to Stirling station then either a 45 minute walk to the visitor centre or a wait for a bus and then a 30 minute journey. 45 minutes compared with at least 1 hour 45 minutes by public transport, probably more when you factor in waiting for buses and trains. And the same on the way back?!

People who don't drive don't appreciate that they are restricting themselves as it would never occur to them to travel somewhere unusual on a Sunday. Or very rurally at any time. They stick to what they know, go places that they can access on public transport. They don't even realise that they are doing this so probably do think they can go anywhere and do anything.

@gin96 the only time I've known ALL the trains to be cancelled for several days, the roads to the places I wanted to go to were under water and impassable. On the contrary I've often travelled by train alongside a flooded impassable road because rail lines are often on higher ground.
I suppose you've never broken down, had your car out of action for repair, got stuck in a traffic jam on a motorway, because car travel is always trouble free

People who don't drive don't appreciate that they are restricting themselves
thank you so much for enlightening us Oh revered person who is a proper grown up because they drive a car while us non drivers are fools with limited horizons who could have much better lives if only they would acknowledge that people who drive cars are superior and rule the world

I must admit I didn’t think I was missing out when I didn’t drive, it’s not until you do, you realise how much it does restrict you. Where I live what takes an hour to travel on the bus takes 15 mins in a car. Trains don’t go to every town, for example you can’t go from Cambridge to Oxford without going in and out of London, it’s so much easier in a car.