Why don't you drive. ?

[Fivetillmidnight]

So many posts here from women with various issues , (mostly logistical) with an 'aside' of ... 'dp/DH drives I don't '.

AIBU to suggest that IF you have a car in the family ... AND you have at least one functioning eye, and either feet or hands that work well and no reason that the DVLA would ban you from driving for , then you should learn ?

My moderate/severe categorised Dss has just passed his test. ( well done him !) with the help of Motorbility . Surely if he can do it then there is no excuse not to learn ? and relieve the burden for a family where one is the sole driver (normally the man) .

But equally applicable to a family where the women does all the transportation.

Obviously not an issue for those who don't need a car. This refers to those where a car is used for the family and one adult does ALL the driving .

I think I spent around £2000 on lessons within a year time scale - as well as test and theory. Thankfully I passed first time. My initial insurance was £1,400 for a 1.1 litre car that was on finance at £80 a month. My road tax is £10 a month and then I put about £20 worth of petrol in my car per week. For some people - especially those who have dependents this just isn't feasible. I think you're being really ignorant to think that everyone should drive.

*Wow says it all if you don’t drive, it limits you to where you can live.

What about taking children to their hobbies, Birthday parties.*

Or... lots of people dont actually want to live rurally, and dependence on a car is just part of that? Children have birthday parties near where they live most of the time, dont they?

@Alaimo no it doesn’t because I have a choice, I can still move to these places and choose not to have a car, I don’t have to have a car, if I wanted to move to London I wouldn’t have a car but people who don’t drive can’t move somewhere that doesn’t have good transport, they don’t have tha choice, it limits you.

I can’t imagine being so adamant my way was right it gave me such an inflated sense of superiority over internet randoms

All i’m Saying is i can use all the public transport you use and I do but I can also drive, I have a choice that isn’t open to non drivers and it does limit you, it limits you to where you live, where you work, what hobbies you and your children have, where you go on holiday.

You don't understand because it comes easy to you. Try looking at it through others eyes.
Putting aside the cost or a medical condition that stops you, some people don't have great perspective or coordination. For you doing several different activities with your arms and legs whilst looking around is easy for you. Some people are not at a level to need a diagnosis or would get one but find changing gear, steering, moving hand to indicate , moving one foot to press on peddle and your other to press another whilst being vigilant about what's happening around them difficult. They just feel unsafe and choose not to drive.
Some people feel nervous or untrusting about being in charge of a car or of other cars on the road. So don't drive.
I drive and enjoy driving but I can appreciate why others may not.

All i’m Saying is i can use all the public transport you use and I do

Aren't you the poster who thinks non-drivers would have to postpone holidays for days because of trains being cancelled? With the greatest of respect I think you might not be as familiar with public transport as those of us who rely on it.

And honestly, WE KNOW that not driving limits us to living in places where we can get by without it. This is not news to anyone! It doesn't limit us as much as you think (honestly you think children can't get to birthday parties???) but yes it is limiting in terms of housing. This is why we need better public transport. My MIL lives somewhere with terrible transport options and thinks she'll need to give up driving in a few years but also doesn't want to move - not great.

I have a choice that isn’t open to non drivers and it does limit you, it limits you to where you live, where you work, what hobbies you and your children have, where you go on holiday

I think that’s lack of imagination to be honest. And I say that as a driver.

I would say driving brings its own set of limitations, IME much more irritating and problematic than not driving!

But that 'choice' is meaningless if you dont actually want to live somewhere only accessible by car. I've never wanted to go somewhere on holiday to be thwarted by the lack of car, hobbies have never been a problem, no job I've ever had has needed cars etc. It simply doesnt impact on my life in the way you're imagining.

It does limit you, it’s not lack of immigration, I wouldn’t be able to do my hobby without a car. My son plays golf, I have to take him and his golf clubs to the club every Saturday and Sunday how could I do that without a car? How could I tow my horse without a car?

My dad was older and gave up his car before I turned 17. I've had no one to teach me and lessons are really expensive, not to mention cars and insurance are too. I'm currently trying to save for a mortgage so tend to walk as much as I can.

You’re still not getting it Gin96, it might limit YOU, it doesn’t necessarily limit everyone else.

We get it, you’re car reliant. Not everyone is.

I would be really bothered if my daughter never learnt to drive.

Why is it so difficult
If I wanted to live somewhere rural I would drive. But I don't - I want to live in a city with shops, theatres and cinemas, I don't want to have to drive half an hour because I forgot to get a pint of milk. Car or no car I want to live in a city.
I go on holiday where I want to, not having a car does not prevent me getting to an airport.
My son plays tennis, basketball,swims and is a Scout. All if these things are in walking distance

If you didn't have a car Gin96 you would have your life set up in different ways. So you'd keep your saddle at the stables in a locked tack room, you'd pay someone else to tow your horse to shows etc., your son would have to get a taxi to the golf club or keep his clubs there or something. People without cars have horses and play golf, honestly they do.

The issue is that you're thinking of YOUR life and how it's currently set up. So you're thinking of it as, "if I suddenly lost my car tomorrow I would really struggle to manage, therefore people without cars would really struggle to manage." But people without cars don't live in your house doing your job with your hobbies at your hobby locations. We don't live just like you but minus the car.

I don't know where you'd be able to park your car if you lived in my house. Probably you'd find it a real pain not being able to park near your front door. But I don't think "gosh however do you manage, cars must be so limiting! I wouldn't be able to cope!"

@gin96 you aren't listening are you.
Fine, you need a car, I have absolutely no problem with that.
If I had a hobby that required a car I would get one - but I don't
The local golf here is next to the tennis club, walkable in 15 minutes, really not a problem

I could manage with just public transport if I had to. But being able to drive gives so much more flexibility.

I dont want to ride or own a horse. I know this for an utter fact because I grew up with them. If DC wanted to learn there is a riding stables although I cant say I'd be wildly keen. Nor do I want to play golf, although Google tells me that if I get the urge I can be at a golf course in 12 minutes via Uber or 30 minutes on the bus. So its completely doable.

Yes but someone still has to drive, i have a choice not to rely on other people, I can drive myself.

Also if any of you rely on a partner to drive, if you ever split up, life is going to be much more limiting.

Yes but someone still has to drive, i have a choice not to rely on other people

Like a train driver, or bus driver, or taxi driver...?

I go to work.
I do the school run.
We visit friends 60 miles away.

DD had one term of gymnastics,football,martial arts and art. She dropped some as it was too much for a 6 yo and she was tired.

She went to all the birthday parties she was invited to.

She goes to playdates.

We go museums,attractions,fairs and all that stuff.

We have a pretty average life.

OH does drive but he uses it for work so we only see it at the weekends if he's not working away. Since the beginning of the year I've been in the car twice. It would've been 3 times but we came out to a flat tire so just ordered an Uber and got on with it.

Yes your choice not to drive but it will limit your choices.

Yes your choice not to drive but it will limit your choices

Having no car would change nothing about my life. Not one choice I make would be affected.

Gin96 I don't think you are reading and taking in what anybody is saying. I give up.

I rely (insofar as I do) on a network. That's far different than what you are suggesting.

Also if any of you rely on a partner to drive, if you ever split up, life is going to be much more limiting.

You rely on driving. If you ever can't, your life is going to be limited, and I have seen it happen to a lot of elderly people in the countryside. If I never set foot in a vehicle again I could still do tons of stuff because of my choice to live where I do.