To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

[Hihothedairyo]

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

I was just about to say that also oralbee.

Saying that it’s ok that some people,(mostly women.) are in su Co a terrible position socially mentally and financially that they have to sell their bodies in order to make a living. Is fucking outrageous and completely dehumanises the PEOPLE who for whatever reason are FORCED through circumstance to have NO OTHER VIABLE CHOICE. The people who use them should be criminalised and locked up.

Roma women are forcibly sterilised in some areas,

Bloody hell whos doing that?, sounds like Would War two Nazi presecution all over again!..

The people who use them should be criminalised and locked up

You say that but suely the people who should be locked up are those who run social security systems?

Of course its not right but we all buy stuff make in sweatshops in the Asian region but if we didnt buy wouldn't those poor saps suffer all the more?.

@OralBee knowing that the average age a woman starts her ‘career’ in prostitution at the age of 14

Now just think about this for a minute. For 14 to be the average age of starting prostitution then for every prostitute who started at 25 there must be a load of toddlers starting in prostitution-can’t you see that that is absurd?

In a study comparing street and parlour prostitutes in Bristol here the authors show Parlour sex workers had been older when they started selling sex (mean 23.1 years versus 20.8 years for street sex workers.

In a study in Leeds and Glasgow the average ages of starting were 22.7 for those working indoors and 19.6 for street workers here .

Independent workers generally start later-often in their 30s or older here

so while a few start young the average age of starting is much higher

Yep, in the UK I think it’s early 20s but worldwide studies have given the age of 14, some even say 12-13. And having read/seen/heard the things I have I’m not surprised.

I’m really not going to get into children and toddlers though, it’s hard enough to talk about teenagers and adults as I was forced into prostitution as a (just) teenager myself. I’m sure anyone who doesn’t want to believe it won’t and anyone who is ‘interested’ (for want of a better word) will look into themselves. Although I don’t recommend it.

Now just think about this for a minute. For 14 to be theaverageage of starting prostitution then for every prostitute who started at 25 there must be a load of toddlers starting in prostitution-can’t you see that that is absurd

You know that's not a gotcha right?
How is it absurd, it happens all over the world. Just because its hidden in the dark web and is very underground doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Bloody hell some babies are created for this exact purpose.

Exponential, sadly very young children being exploited for sex isn't 'absurd' at all. It happens daily in this country and every other.

so while a few start young

Ok.

So a) accurate data about prostituted women is incredibly hard to collect
b) worldwide, many, many girls are prostituted.
c) look at how common porn titles like “destroy her teen ass” are to get a flavour of how much youth is prized by men.
d) you say “a few” - how many is acceptable to you?

That is exactly the point: world-wide!
As I suggested in an earlier post, this needs to be looked at from a global perspective. Not from a random personal experience where a mate of a mate said what happened to them and how normal it is to use a prostitute for sex.
Yes we can try look for studies and statistics to justify this and that or to support the idea that this is all wrong, but you’ll never find a proper world wide study. Who’s going to do the research, how accurate is going to be and how truthful will the subjects in the study be. We can only go by data collected by enforcing agencies and that only sees a small part of the picture.
As for the Romani culture, my perception, based on general knowledge, is that they do not sell or prostitute their children or women and the women, in general, do not prostitute themselves. It is not in their culture. Some of them may well prostitute others for financial gain(because criminal gangs would be derived from any culture and they wouldn’t be immune to this particular illegal temptation) but not their own people.
As regards an influx of Romanian (or Eastern European) prostitutes in the UK, it is very, very wrong to generalise this to their entire female population. Or, equally, to state that local men are horrible so the women have to flee. I have met and worked with a lot of professional, very well educated men and women from that part of the world with clear family values and mutual respect. Whichever country I visited there was full of respectful, hardworking people who value their children, larger families and work and have self respect and treat others with kindness and professionalism. Young girls in that part of the world can be particularly pretty and part of the rural population is not as well informed and possibly naive in their thinking which is what leads to larger recruitment in this area. It doesn’t mean they end up in this industry because they want to, they are being groomed. And by the time the reality sinks in, it is too late for them to escape being used by organised crime. And there are voluntary non-governmental programmes to educate young girls about this issue but the schemes are simply not big enough. There are programmes to support women who escape the sex industry to try and help these women deal with the trauma and social repercussions but, again, it needs to be done on a greater scale.
Fair enough, you can say to me, but how do you know, where are the numbers for these etc. And I can say but how do you know this is not happening? I haven’t seen this first hand but I have read enough about the subject and watched documentaries and tried to keep myself informed because I was shocked when I first heard of what a big a problem this is. And my curiosity also led me to learn about this subject in other parts of the world.
I simply cannot understand how some (Very few on here) people still think it’s OK to agree with any kind of activities provided by the sex industry.theres nothing wrong with sex as such. But providing and using any kind of service (from sex chat lines upwards) only feeds the notion that it’s OK to use unwilling women for sex. It bloody well isn’t!

Justaboy

Syria, Slovakia to name just two places.
It's Roma women. They say it's stopped in Slovakia but it's still going on according to some reports.

It's still happening, even though was 2003. Sorry about the length but well worth it. If you google you'll find it happening in several places.

Branster Alough that post was made by me I hope you understand that it was told to me by a woman untill she met this man she was a 30 odd year old working Escort for almost two years, and she did seem to me she knew a lot about what went on in that field and there were two links given to a website for women activly engaged in that line of work.

As to women from Romainia regardless of their ethnic origion there are a lot, relative to the number of women sex workers in the UK, of them here. It appears that there are a lot of women from from Russia and the baltic states and not so many from counties like Hungary and checzh, poland, serbia but the were a few more from Bulgaria the rest were from China and Japan Thailand and South Korea. The Romania women are believed to be the most trafficked and as you say are here having been promised jobs and a better life in the UK but are now working girls. Her new husband to be did say that it was widely known that this was happening as the girls were not into their job and were disintrested in their"work". On one of the "punting" sites there were police and immigration authority numbers to anonomosly report suspected tracfficked girls. In fact this has been reported on in our local newspaper in a home counties "leafy suburb" area where so called pop up brotels are set up sometimes in Airbnb rentals!

In those reports it was alleged that men and women were running such operations! I suppose you can describe it as modern day slavery:(

FWIW i do rent out a few houses as a private small landlord and have in one for several years had a Romiainian single mum who was describing how a lot of men there were totally useless inculuding her ex husband she has in renent times after several years found a decent Romaina man man and has moved to a bigger place now to live with him and their children. She did a lot to improve herself job wise when she was here.

Please don't pick apart the wording I have used here and there it was just to report on an "as is" basis as some times its difficult to describe something or some activity without upsetting someone somewere!

Drabarni Thanks for that link and I will look at that as soon as i have a moment, seems very sad its happening:(

You sound, at best, hopelessly naive.

ActualHornist, was that meant for me?.

OP I'm not getting at you at all but what I'm getting from your responses, perhaps without you even realising it, that like a lot of people, you see women as falling into two categories: the good kind like you who would never sell your body even though you've had your own difficult times, and the ones who turn to prostitution.
You pay lipservice to not judging them but actually you think THAT kind of women are ok for men to buy because they're lesser, it's not ok for men to buy women like you or your daughter because you are the good kind.
That's internalised misogyny. You may not see it in yourself but it's sadly very common.

@Justaboy so that was for OP! Sorry I should have tagged her.

Fuck sake.

NO. that was for OP. not so

Totally agree OP.

ActualHornist OK lets all enjoy the wind this night!!!

Justaboy, no worries, it was clear you were telling us the story as it was told to you. I didn’t assume you were in any way involved first hand and your posts didn’t upset me or offend me but I wanted to say that my personal view is that not a whole country can be categorised in a certain way.
And the accounts are very sad.
My point was that we can’t assume an entire population is a certain way based on first hand accounts we hear about a certain topic. Whether they are Romanian, Spanish, French, Malaysian or whatever.
It probably comes down to local poverty, lack of family care and morals, lack of education, lack of experience and shared wisdom, lack of information and safety awareness, idealised views on different parts of the world, lack of action from local governments against organised crime and a lot of other factors. Regardless, the fact remains that lots of girls and women are being trafficked across the globe.
The Romanians, Russians, Latvians, Hungarians etc I have personally met (which I believe to be more representative of the local population) were in no way inclined to such activities. Funnily enough, one mentioned that it’s interesting how in some layers of society they have conflicted views about British men because the ‘big’ stories in the local press about predatory men and local children always involved British men over the years. Go figure!
Perception, personal experience and accounts of events do shape our views of certain cultures and countries. Mine, at present, are a bit different than yours and, of course, that can change over time for both of us.

I feel pretty sure that for every woman who enjoys shagging to earn quick money there are dozens of women who feel that there’s nowhere left to turn in order to put food on their or their families’ plates.
As PPs have already said, sex is not a right.
Yes, I appreciate that there are people who struggle to have sex and I’m genuinely sorry for them but prostitution isn’t the right remedy . Though I’m at a loss as to the right way.

It is rape.

I couldn't be with someone who had been to a prostitute.

Not sure if this has been posted but thought it might be of interest.

nordicmodelnow.org/myths-about-prostitution/myth-sex-work-is-healing-for-men/

Well that tells you much of whats been relaised that prostitiuton is inflicted on the poor and destitute in order to survive in lot of the world and i sadley expect that its not going to improve as soon as we might like:(

Appropro of one poster re nationality and that counties possibility of being trafficked I have no figures on thet but quick look at one of the largest sites in the UK the Londonescortguide shows a breakdown of nationality working here this is just a small sample and snapshot and not all countries are noted but these seem to have the largest number of women involved.

Russia - 997
Romainia -328

England 345
China 90
Hungary 147
Bulgaria 40
Brazil 379
Italy 309
France 63
Germany 64
Greece 48
Spain 276

The figure for China is i think not accurate as all the others were searched for by nationality excpet that China was not listed so searched under languages spoken.

I was going to do the same for the notorious Adultwork site but I think that i've done what i can on this for now!

And Drabarni I made a start on that vid but have been distracted by other things but it looks very disturbing thus far!