To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

[Hihothedairyo]

Now here me out first, I do not mean married men who use prostitutes without the knowledge/consent of their wives/partners. Those are scum, I have been cheated on in that way before so believe me when I say I do not agree with that.

However, I've seen and heard a lot of people (including friends of mine) who believe that men in general who use prostitutes are scum.

Personally, I think that, provided you are sure the person you are having sex with is not being trafficked, then you are really just two consenting adults having sex. Yes there is money exchanged, but nobody is forcing the sex worker to do this job (in this scenario, I know that DOES happen).

Should a person who's say, 30 years old and still a virgin, and now feels their too old and too inexperienced to go out and find a woman to have sex with them, not be able to use a service that a woman is willingly providing? What about someone with some form of disability that wants sex but doesn't have the confidence or whatever to get it normally?

I've got a good friend who lost his virginity to a prostitute, and has visited them a few other times also. He's in a happy relationship now and does not use them and never has while in any relationship. I don't feel that him having used them was wrong, but he is not open about having used them at all and I'm pretty sure his partner doesn't know that he ever has.

I just feel there is far too much judgement and hate towards people who are, in reality, just doing something that has been done since time began. And I see no wrong in it, I imagine I'm in the minority here though.

and he bought her round one night

What a very apposite typo.

It's supply and demand. It wouldn't exist if it wasn't a wanted service.

Well duh. "Men believe they're entitled to get their dicks wet by any means necessary" is hardly a hold-the-front-page newsflash. Doesn't mean it's right for them to rent women's bodies in order to do it.

@NearlyGranny I do not claim that all women are somehow deep down prostitutes! Yes, i do believe that everyone, (man or woman) generally has a price point (not necessarily a monetary price point), where they might be tempted or consider doing something they would not normally do. Be that sex or anything else. That does not make everyone prostitutes, just human.

Note i have always said 'tempted', many i am sure would not go through with it for any amount of money.

However, if you've got huge financial debts or living in poverty like i'm sure many vulnerable people are, can you not relate to how someone may see prostitution as their only real option?

And in that sense, I see the people who claim that prostitution is a free 'choice' as ridiculous.

I feel like your trying to find the offense in my comment when i'm actually trying to make a point about 'choice' being a false concept in this scenario.

Perhaps the original comment was a little clumsily put across but i hope this clarifies my actual position.

A lot of Oriental

Benefit of the doubt and all that JustaBoy but this is an offensive statement. We don’t use the word ‘oriental’ to refer to people any more

Well a quick google seems that some do, some don't. I see the SOAS uni are in need so a title or name chage I suppose East Asia will suffice for the counties intended?.

OnlyTheTitOfTheLangBerg Nyes well I'll see if i can crouch that in some legal disclaimer script if i should write that again!

He did buy her a very nice engagement ring £1800 was what she said it cost seems they just "clicked" aftter the first meeting. She like others was a single mum of one trying to make ends meet.

That is so depressing and bleak in so, so many ways justaboy

Yes MostTacticalNameChange I think it is and its very bad in society as a whole that the poor women who are drug users aren't supported better than what they are, which seems in practice to be non-existant.

As to abused women that as well. I do know of a couple of single mums frortunaly they have well paid jobs and have no problems supporting themselves, but that outlook if you can't get a job and have children to support and are lying on pension credit does seem very bleak too:(

Whopps ! are "relying on universal credit" soz!.

I said ‘benefit of the doubt’ for this exact reason - don’t get defensive, just be aware that it’s poor form to use the word ‘oriental’ in relation to people. Oriental rug, possibly. Oriental studies, maybe. Oriental prostitute, no.

@stompythedinasaur
"I also just don't buy into the idea that it's ok for men to pay money to use a woman's body to cum in. I don't imagine that people for think women are people rather than objects would do that."

This is exactly right!

Justaboy by 'Rome' she meant gypsies/ Romani/ travelers depending your take, the women aren't educated and taken out of school very young. The community is also highly misogynistic so let's not pretend they have lots of options.

CheshireChat Yes "Roms" that was a contraction of Romainians.

Please do remember that all i was doing was passing on that conversation with a woman who was active in that , what do you want to call it and her as its very easy to use the wrong word!

The community is also highly misogynistic so let's not pretend they have lots of options.

If thats Romainia then yes it seems thats the reason their here making as much as they can to get away from the men over there.

I'll leave out the obvious bit there!

Not Romanians so much as Romanian gypsies- the distinction is relevant.

And if they go back to their community, they often don't have financial independence as they're women.

Thanks @justaboy, it's a very interesting account.

Romani and Romanians are two completely separate groups which just have similar names. The former can be found in almost all European countries, but they are an ethnic group originating from Northern India.

Yes waterlego Google says that. Yes he did mention them in a rather derogatry manner their service was very poor, often the girl advertised was nowhere like the one in the adverts.

Possibly due to the use of trafficked girls maybe?.

Maybe. I imagine the women your acquaintance was talking about were more likely to be Romanian than Romani Travellers. Only because I haven’t heard of much trafficking of traveller girls, but I could be completely wrong about that.

I am sure there may be some women who do willing enter the sex industry but I have no idea how you can be sure they are willing.

Agreed. 56sweeneytoddsrazor

I suspect a lot of women who have entered into it will be naïve. It will be seen as a short cut to big bucks. And with the promise that they will not have to do anything they don't want to do;so they will feel like they will have some sort of control. You can see how it spirals.

I think if people (including punters) can accept that actually people are usually NOT women (yet) when they first get into prostitution, then we would be a lot further along the road to the truth about the whole sorry business.

A lot of people on here seem to have a problem with women taking agency over their own bodies.

None of your business really, is it?

RTFT, have you Mary?

Head. Desk.

How many times can it be said that when a women is left with no other choice, her only option is not a choice.
That is not agency.
For every handful of women who make the informed decision to work as a prostitute there are thousands of other women and girls who have been forced into it.
We do these women a great disservice with the 'sex work is work' narrative that focuses on the small minority who legitimately want to be prostitutes while ignoring the thousands who don't, the women who are struggling to make ends meet, the trafficked women and girls, the women who are traumatised by their experiences in the sex industry.
When an industry is actively harming women and girls it's all of our business.

Romany is a race there are thousands of us across the world and our DNA is distinctive, and covers the migration from India c1500 years ago.

There are Romany in Romania too, as well as across Europe.
Research is currently looking at some transported to America being earlier than believed and could be original settlers.
A Roma/Romany woman would not prostitute unless forced. We are proud and cover up, following traditional culture from Indian caste system. e have our own head covering called Diklo.

There may be prostitutes from all over Europe as we have seen a lot of migration over the past 10 years or so.
Roma women are forcibly sterilised in some areas, I'm not aware of a huge influx moving here to prostitute, but if anyone has some evidence I would be very interested in reading.

Bezalelle OK, but, they ARE consenting. They are getting paid for it, and they are choosing to provide that service?

IF and it is a big if, the woman can make the same or more money in another job, one she can get without needing further qualifications, training, different hours experience etc.

Has not been trafficked, has not gone through a Juju ceremony, have had educational opportunities.

Add to that being over the age of 18 the first time they 'provided the service' with the above caveat.

Only then, is it a choice. But how often is that the case?

@ loserssaywhat n For every handfulof women who make the informed decision to work as a prostitute there are thousandsof other women and girls who have been forced into it

How do you know that? This is a claim often made but where is the representative study that shows this? There isn’t one-this is pure speculation.

The studies that do exist suggest coercion is rare here for instance the authors note Few women reported being coerced into sex work (using the UN definition as made to work by someone or to give earnings to someone else -the total coerced amounts to around 6%.

The recently published report commissioned by the Home Office The nature and prevalence of prostitution and sex work in England and Wales today here acknowledges there are women who subject to exploitation there were others who identify selling sex as a pleasurable and lucrative career choice, or as a therapeutic vocation.

They were however unable to say how many fell into each category.

I wouldn’t take a 6% chance of having sex with someone who was coerced or forced to do it...

I absolutely do not believe it’s 6% having been forced into it at a young age and knowing that the average age a woman starts her ‘career’ in prostitution at the age of 14 but even if it is true, would you have sex with someone knowing there’s a 6% chance they have been forced to do it?

A study from the United Nations’ International Labour Organization estimated 3.8 million adults and 1 million children were victims of forced sexual exploitation in 2016 around the world.

99% of those are women and girls.