To pay my mother in law to look after DC's fulltime?

[swimmingpoolshower]

I'm considering going back to study a full time uni course with placements next Autumn. I'm currently part time so able to do most pick ups and drop offs to school and preschool. I cannot see how I can work around this when I could be on placements, as they can be up to ten miles away and long shifts. My DP's job is very inflexible and long hours.
The only option I can think of is asking my mother in law to quit her job and to stay at ours in the week to help. She has suggested this in the past but I had to explain that I currently wouldn't be able to afford it. She currently works 8.30-3.30 Monday to Friday in a school office, and she hates her job. I think I'd reimburse her around £600 per month, which is possibly less than she earns now. I know she needs to work and they are looking at moving next year so her wages are being counted towards the new mortgage (less than £20,000 but still.) She told me she'd love to retire now but that she can't afford to quit.
My concerns are she is quite unwell (diabetes, asthma, immunity problems) and she might find the school run tiring (who doesn't!) Even though it's only a very short walk, it's the getting two kids out the door at a certain time and then there's the scooters, cars, running! I worry it will tire her out and she'll get quite stressed.
My other (selfish) concern is that she doesn't 'do' much with the children so they would be watching telly from 3-6.30 with no homework, reading, park trips, swimming etc. She doesn't drive and wouldn't get the bus with them so it would be home and then they'd be bored and mischievous. She also feeds them loads of rubbish food and I feel I would have to be strict with that, which might cause tension. On Saturday in two hours she gave them a punnet of blueberries, four satsumas, a choc ice, a bag of popcorn, a fruit shoot and two bags of sweets. They were high from sugar all night long!
It would be a very sensitive subject to breach as an obviously she would be doing me a massive favour if she did agree. Yet I would also want to have some input into the routine. Also what would happen after I graduated? Would she find work again for the two years before retirement? Has anyone done similar? Did it work out?

Your concern is her health and how much she does with the kids?

What about her concerns that she may not want to be your skivvy.

Pay for proper childcare or study PT?

Maybe you don't mean it to sound so bad, OP, but it does sound like you just want to use your MIL when it suits you, then bin her off when it no longer does.

This is a crazy idea and destined to be a disaster.

And have you actually asked her if she wants to do this? Or are you assuming she would jump at the chance?

I delayed going back to uni because I couldn't sort out suitable child care while my children were at primary school. From what you've said, this doesn't sound like the right solution. There may be funding for childcare available to you, I have a friend who received a childcare grant directly from university which covered a big chunk of the cost of a childminder. Depending on the course you do, you are unlikely to be in lectures every day 9 to 5, so a childminder may be more affordable than you think at least for the non-placement parts of your course

If she left her current job to child mind would she not need wage slips to prove employment if she is included in a mortgage application?

I think you will find she earns more than £150 a week currently.

I think it would be a bad idea, since your ideas on child rearing seem very much stricter than hers.

Actually now I have re-read I am even more incredulous.

You want to her to give up her job, for a loss, to have your kids, even though you worry about how little she does with them and all the junk she feeds them, to make her redundant for the last two years before she retires.

If any of this is serious, you are a selfish fucker.

she'd love to retire now but that she can't afford to quit

Yet you want to pay her less than she earns now? Very bad form from you.

Pay her the going rate for a childminder or hire someone qualified.

Does your mother in law get a say?!

This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen!

You want her to quit her job and look after your kids until 6.30 every day for £600 a month?! 😂 you are a first rate CF.

Hope she tells you to take a running jump.

How much are you reckoning her hourly rate will be?

Find out how much you would need to pay her to make it worthwhile and if you can afford it. At the moment you're just guessing.
Have you checked out breakfast clubs and after school clubs?
Finally:
My DP's job is very inflexible and long hours
They always are, it seems. How about he looks for a different job so he could be the one to do drop off? If it's ok to ask your MIL to quit her job and be worse off, why not the children's dad?

This sounds insane. Why on earth should she give up her job for £600 a month for full time childcare that you don’t think she’s fit to provide.

Surely the OP can't be serious.

It doesn’t sound suitable for her at all.

It sounds like a bad idea for all concerned.

Bad for you - you’ll be stressed managing your relationship with your MIL and it will bring tension. There’s no way it won’t.

Bad for your MIL - she doesn’t sound suited to looking after 2 DC with her health, capabilities (not driving etc) and need to earn more.

Bad for DC - this most of all. Lack of stimulation etc.

If the only way you can go back to college is to do this, you need to wait for both to be in school then arrange wraparound care and talk with your DP about a longer-term plan with him seeking more flexibility so he can take more responsibility for childcare.

Also, OP, if PILs are retiring in 2 years and you’ll then have school-age kids then hopefully they’ll be able to help you out with some afternoon pick-ups here and there while you train.

Your timing needs a rethink.

What does your husband suggest about his childcare issues?

So to recap.

You want your children looked after by an unwell woman, who will do absolutely nothing with them and they'll be fed nothing but crap and rubbish?

Yeah, brilliant idea as long as it saves money.

This wouldn’t work. It’s not a good idea for you, your children, and definitely not her.

You need to find childcare via a childminder or use before/after school cubs and your husband kicks in looking after HIS children so HE can work.

Study part time

Defer studies until the above can work.

think I'd reimburse her around £600 per month, which is possibly less than she earns now

Yes, quite possibly.
And presumably she currently gets paid holiday (or a sum towards it) pension contributions, NI contributions towards state pension....

Fuck off are you being serious 😂 is this a reverse?!
If not, get a grip. Paying her peanuts to work longer hours than she’s doing now, plus you’re of the opinion she’s shit at looking after your kids anyway. Your whole post is just saturated with dislike for her. I mean... come on.

What about an au pair?