Announcing pregnancy days before best friends' wedding

[SpaceSharkTea]

Hi all,

Tell me who is BU here - DH or me.

I think it's BU to our close/best friend to announce in the week leading up to their wedding.

We will be going for our 12 week scan when we're actually 13-14 weeks due to being away when it's around 12 weeks. This means we will be going for our scan in the Monday-Friday of the week when our friends are getting married on the Saturday. My DH is Best Man as the groom is his best man. If we announce that week the first time we see the vast majority of our friends will be at the wedding.

DH says I'm being silly but I think for everyone to be congratulating us on the same day as the newly weds takes all the attention away from then. DH says as we will be 14 weeks by the wedding that there's no reason to wait any longer.

Maybe I'm being hormonal and overly sensitive but I just don't want to upset anyone

Won't all your friends guess anyway, if you're not drinking at the wedding?

Totally agree with you please don't do it!!!!
Congratulations though!!

I’d announce after. A few days won’t matter.

I doubt the wedding guests will spend the entire wedding marvelling over your upduffed status, I’m sure it will be fine.

Tell everyone before, it’s lovely news and anyway you won’t be drinking and it might be obvious by then. A wedding doesn’t mean everything else stops!

Tell them before. A wedding is much more exciting in the moment. It will be fine

A close friend of mine let slip that she was pregnant at my wedding and a mutual friend announced it to everyone. I was thrilled for her.

I suppose it depends what you mean by 'announce'. Do you mean tell your closest relatives privately? Fine.

Keep the fanfare for after the wedding?

@Wilding I don't drink wine so was thinking I could pull it off by having 'vodka and diet coke' as it will look no different

I’d mention it to the B&G and follow their lead.

To be honest, @MayDayHelp has a point. I’m pregnant and we’ve just announced to friends at various events. It’s a big talking point for like 20 mins then we move on to something else - with occasional references to ‘oh that’s in June, isn’t it - yes I’ll be there - god you’ll be huge then ’

But yeah, I’d go with what the bride and groom want.

I would feel the same as you and not make any announcement until after the wedding.

I would tell dh the reason to delay is to be thoughtful to bride and groom. They might not be bothered if you announce but I wouldn't take the risk.

You can pretend to drink, or make up an excuse people may suspect but it is different to lots of congrats and baby chat on their wedding day.

I wouldn't, there's no reason you can't wait a week to announce. At 14 weeks the pregnancy often isn't be clearly obvious either. Let the couple enjoy their day without other big news.

Why don’t you ask your friend? Everyone’s got such wildly varying opinions on stuff like this that we can tell you how we’d all feel but your friend might feel completely different.

Invite her out for lunch or something and get her opinion stressing that you just want whatever she’d be comfortable with.

Could you not sit your friend (the bride) down that week and tell her solo. See how she feels about it being announced that week.

If it were me I wouldn't mind about you telling people that week but I'd be even more pleased that I was told first and that you'd considered my feelings in such a big thing. I'd feel honoured in a way

@AutumnCrow our parents and closest relatives will know, but DH wants to announce to everyone he knows, their mother and pet snails if he can!

There's only around 60 going to the day and 150 to the evening. I agree it's going to be small talk for a little while at the wedding and obviously won't be the main news of the day, but I don't want to be seen to trying to steal anyone's thunder. It's been a long time coming so can see why people will be thrilled for us and people may talk.

Please don't. Let them have their day just about them. Congratulations on your lovely news.

Totally agree with you, please don't say anything till after the wedding.

Your husband is seeing it from a blokes point of view and you from the brides who at this stage does t want distracting.

One of our closest friends waited until she was 20 weeks before anyone was told.

I think telling people in the days before are fine but FFS don't "announce" it at the wedding.

Maybe tell everyone at breakfast the day after. Not on the day.

Tell the bride and groom and just say that you know it's their day so you'll keep quiet but just wanted them to know.

Then if they are not bothered they'll say "don't be daft of course tell people" or if they are highly strung they'll maybe say "thanks for waiting until after" and you'll know either way.

Honestly, let them have their day. You have weeks to announce this when you won't upset your close friends.

This was me! I went to a wedding at 14 weeks pregnant, I'd also been away at 12 weeks so had my scan slightly late. So I could have announced that day but I felt it would take some of the attention away fron my friend. I didn't tell anyone until shortly after the wedding. Easy to fake drink. I'd fake drank through the hen do a few weeks before too.

I wouldn't to be honest. Someone announced a pregnancy at my friend's wedding and everyone there was saying all day how she clearly wanted to steal all the attention away.

I'm not sure people are going to be so awed by your news that it will take away from their day.
But as long as you don't do what my cousin did (she announced her pregnancy at my wedding) you are probably fine to go ahead.

DH says as we will be 14 weeks by the wedding that there's no reason to wait any longer.

But there IS a reason to wait longer - the wedding. You gave him that reason, even if he doesn’t agree with it.