Announcing pregnancy days before best friends' wedding

[SpaceSharkTea]

Hi all,

Tell me who is BU here - DH or me.

I think it's BU to our close/best friend to announce in the week leading up to their wedding.

We will be going for our 12 week scan when we're actually 13-14 weeks due to being away when it's around 12 weeks. This means we will be going for our scan in the Monday-Friday of the week when our friends are getting married on the Saturday. My DH is Best Man as the groom is his best man. If we announce that week the first time we see the vast majority of our friends will be at the wedding.

DH says I'm being silly but I think for everyone to be congratulating us on the same day as the newly weds takes all the attention away from then. DH says as we will be 14 weeks by the wedding that there's no reason to wait any longer.

Maybe I'm being hormonal and overly sensitive but I just don't want to upset anyone

I'd wait. Don't you want to wait for your screening results to come back first too? That can be a week or two after the scan.

I wouldn't be remotely upset if a close friend had announced she was pregnant at my wedding. Maybe if she stood up to do it during the ceremony, or during the the speeches, but otherwise, why would it matter? Should all conversation at a wedding be about the bride and groom? Have I been doing weddings wrong for years?

Leave it for a few weeks after the wedding. Don't do a Meghan Markle and announce it at the wedding like she did at Princess Eugenie's wedding. It's a very crass thing to do,

Don’t do it OP!

While it’s lovely that your DJ wants to tell the world, it does seem a tad selfish to do it on someone else’s wedding day. Tell your closest friends privately, but don’t let it be a thing at the wedding.

Did Meghan or did Harry since it was his family?

I wouldn’t give a shit personally as long as you didn’t make a literal announcement over the microphones.

I would wait. Although other people on here may be fine with being the bride and having a friend announce a pregnancy or an engagement I think the vast majority of brides would be upset.

Just wait until after the wedding. Go and visit people or face time them to tell them your news.

Yes I’d wait too... not worth any potential upset and then when you do tell people you can enjoy talking about it with them without worrying if the bride or groom will get the hump! Very thoughtful of you OP

I'd take a pretty dim view of someone who chose to do this.

The bride and groom will be spending a small fortune on a day that's for them. And them alone.

Tell DH to hold your own party and make the announcement.

I found out a good friend of mine who had been struggling to conceive was pregnant on my wedding day. It made my day even more special.

Wow, it would never cross my mind not to tell people news. I honestly can't see how it takes anything away from anyone, but so many people here think it does! Actually, I'm the opposite, if I had a friend hold back like that it would annoy me.

Don't do it.

I would announce it as soon as you can before the wedding.
What would be worse -
people knowing beforehand and saying congratulations over text/social media and then chatting to you casually about it at the wedding, or,
your dh letting slip at the wedding or it being obvious, everyone finding out at your friends wedding and doing all the surprise/congratulations with the bridge and groom right there?

I mean seriously, these weddings go for hours. Are we really not allowed to discuss our own lives during that time? It just seems so ridiculous

Ah just tell the B&G beforehand and take your cue from them. Most normal people would be thrilled for you and wouldn't give a crap about people knowing. If they are weddingzilla types I'm sure they will make it quite clear

I’d probably announce as early as you can so there is no chance of someone guessing at the wedding. It does depend on how your body is changing and what symptoms you have. I had to go public at 7 weeks because I attended a wedding at 8 weeks and there was no way to hide it because I had hyperemesis.

DH says I'm being silly but I think for everyone to be congratulating us on the same day as the newly weds takes all the attention away from then.

Oh bless you! Honestly, a few people saying congratulations and making polite noises, will never take the attention away from a bride and groom! How on earth could it?

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Go ahead and tell your mates, honestly it won't make a difference to the wedding.

Please don't do this, its beyond selfish

Yeah definitely don't announce until after the wedding. If people guess there's not a lot you can do about it but let them have their moment.

I have never understood the preciousness of the not wanting to intrude on the brides day. Why is it not OK to celebrate a baby AND a wedding with mutual friends? I hear things like this fairly frequently so I must be the one who is daft but I don't see why you can't tell people?

Congrats op. You said it’s been a long time coming - I think you should not tell people during the wedding (wedding day). Leave it a few days. It’s silly and shouldn’t matter but I understand your sensitivities.

The B&G are having a day. A Day. A Wedding. If OP tells her family she's pregnant the week before, why would that make a difference?

People have babies all the bloody time, people are able to be happy for more than one person at a time. AT the wedding is shit, obviously, but the week before is fine IMO.

I had my scan just before a good friend's wedding. I did tell people, at the end of the evening, after the speeches etc when the attention wasn't on the couple so much. And I didn't make a big announcement, just told people one at a time if they asked why i wasn't drinking. I told the bride and groom the next day.

I can't believe how OTT some of these 'don't do it ' responses are?!

It's not like the OP's DH is going to announce it in the middle of the wedding speech!

I’d wait.
Whether the b&g are ok with it or not, you’ll never know. Even if they say they are, they probably aren’t. Haven’t you seen the episode of friends? Where Monica shouts at Rachael she’s going to announce her pregnancy on her wedding day? It’s funny because it’s true, you just wouldn’t.