To think 50/50 is reasonable

[starlight86]

So I’m talking between friends and the subject came up of custody agreements.

Now I automatically assumed that when both parents are loving parents that 50/50 custody would be appropriate.
I know that me and my husband are equally good parents and I would have no right to seek more custody and would have to agree to 50/50 which would upset me because I would miss the kids terribly but it would only be fair.

But my friends think that’s nuts and it would never work as the kids are getting moved from pillar to post every few days which I guess I can see their point but I know for a fact my husband would fight the custody ( we are in a great relationship so hoping this never happens lol)

So my question is, if you are both great parents but split up as a couple then what’s the normal type of agreement, would you fight 50/50 or has others done a 50/50 type split that’s worked?

misty9 my DS has a great relationship with his dad despite seeing him only 3 or 4 nights a month. The days he goes to his dad's are his dad's days off work, which means he spends that quality time with him. It would be pointless him going to his dad's when he's at work to just spend time in childcare.

Really you could say the same thing about dads (or mums) who live with their DC but work long hours and only see the DC at bedtime, then are too tired to do anything with them at the weekend.

We shared child related costs 50/50 as well. No need for any kind of maintenance. It was all very civilised and worked well for everyone involved

I did 50/50 with my oldest dd for years.

Looking back it was a big mistake and it isnt something I would do again if my marriage ended.

Dd hated it. School routine all over the place, different rules and expectations of her every few days. She never really felt she had a "home" because she was moving backwards and forwards so regularly. She didnt know if she was coming or going.

We had very different parenting styles and it really negatively impacted on her.

She stopped at about 15. So her home is here and she went to her dads at weekends for a night. Now she pretty much doesn't stay over at all and prefers to visit and come home. They ring text and he s actively involved in her life but she is much happier.

We shared child related costs 50/50 as well. No need for any kind of maintenance. It was all very civilised and worked well for everyone involved

We share child related costs 50/50. Ex-H pays maintenance. It’s all very civilised and works well for everyone involved.

Which just goes to show that provided you have the best interests of the child first and foremost that is what matters.

Think it goes to show it depends on the family's involved.