So worried please help, DS Mental Health Journey, Part 2 *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[WhatNowFrantic]

I got the last thread deleted as it became quite outing but the support on here has been such a help to me so I've started this thread.
So DS started AD at the weekend and is so far feeling awful, he's pale, pupils dilated, feels anxious and dizzy. I don't think he realises how ill he is.
He's off work so I'm hoping they start to kick in soon. I'm worried he's got too much time on his hands while he's off and don't want him sat thinking.
Of course it's all my fault at the moment as I dragged him to the GP and got him to have time off. He's just not in a good place right now.

Sometimes ADs can make you feel worse before you feel better. It can take a couple of weeks to start improving.
And sometimes people take it out on those closest to them as he knows you wont reject him.
No advice but solidarity. My ds has had serious depressive episodes since a young teen. 32 now and on sertraline, living back with me and working part time.

Thanks recklessruby DS is on sertraline, only started on 25mg but they've knocked him for six
Do they help.your son?

WhatNowFrantic I had added a link on your last thread which had an app specifically geared at men's mental health, I can post it again if you want

yes please! I did make a note of some of them. The other thread was so helpful but had become quite outing.

I'm sat in the loo crying now because he is blaming me for making him take the tablets that are making him worse and blaming me for making him have time off work. Apparently I keep saying the same things over and over again.
I can't win!

Be strong OP. Antids do make you feel worse for about a fortnight, it's very common. But it is SO SO worth persevering, they have absolutely changed my life.

whatnowfranticyes they do help him but he had horrendous insomnia followed by just wanting to sleep all the time. It took a good 4 weeks to see benefits.

Sorry, I guess I should have put abit of background for those not on the other thread.
Back last year I found suicide letters in DS room He denied being depressed and said they were old. He was ok for a few months and seemed his normal happy self.
Got a new job which he seemed overjoyed about....
Then, Last month DS early 20's tried to end his life. He was bought home to us in the early hours by the police.
It's been an uphill struggle since that day, refusing help, tears, breakdown at work etc
He's finally started the AD and is coming round to the idea of therapy.
So that's the story so far. I'm hoping we are through the worst. It's the worst thing I've ever had to cope with as a parent.

Whatnowfrantic here are two links there are both based in Scotland but have useful help on them Brothers in Arms & Chris's House Hope they help

Thankyou

So already this morning DS seems calmer. None of the crying before work saying he can't do it.
He's had a shower, and having breakfast.
He needed to be off work!
His mate who he works with has phoned him already this morning to see how he is which I thought was lovely.
And I slept better last night!

Really proud of DS, said he couldn't sleep last night so listened to his audio book for a while.
He has taken the dog out in the daylight and is out for lunch with a friend. He is trying bless him and I'm so glad he is off work. Doubt he will admit I'm right tho
So nice for me to not be constantly worrying about how he is coping at work.

Two lovely posts
You are so right, he won't admit you were right.
Seeing daylight is a good thing. Audio books sounds good too! Is he eating ok?

My DS saw a psychiatrist and he told us that withADs me and DH would notice an improvement before DS felt one. We can see tiny things - cleaning his teeth without being prompted, answering a text with 'No thanks' rather than his usual 'Nah'.
Hopefully you will begin to see improvements but it may be a week or so yet.

Thanks @PleaseShare
I look forward to seeing little signs! Last night he hardly spoke and he's been quiet today but at least he's been put and about.
His appetite is very good which is nice to see.
I just hope 2 weeks is long enough off as I know, and he's told me he's definately going back to work after that.
He has to go up to 50mg this weekend which is scary.

How bad is it to drink beer with Sertraline?!
I'm really glad DS has gone out but hes now on the beers saying he feels fine
There's no telling him!

I don't think there will be a huge effect. From what I've read if you take normal dose of ADs with alcohol then it can increase the sleepiness (which may help your DS) but it can also reduce the effectiveness of the medication.

The alcohol just seemed to make him sleepy. He has had no ill effects this morning, which probably means he will think it's fine to drink🙄

I'm abit sad that I deleted the last thread as there was so much support on there that got me through each day.
It's all gone abit quiet now.....

Could you ask MN to put a link to this thread on the deleted one?
If you can remember who the regular posters were you could could list them here then they might get the email to say they've been mentioned.
Or you could contact MN for suggestions.

I'm glad there was no awful effects of the meds and the alcohol. Has he any other side effects?

Thanks @PleaseShare That's a good idea.
DS has felt a little sick since taking his tablet this morning, I told him it's because he drank last night
He has had a bit of dizziness and has been really hungry! but that's it really which is good.
He has to up the dose at the weekend so hopefully that won't cause any problems.

I think you mentioned on the last thread that your son was a football fan, there was a tv documentary (BBC I think) that was done by various famous footballers, Peter Crouch was one, it was about dealing with mental health and depression. And how they dealt with theirs. Might be on iplayer. It was interesting and may just make him see it's not just him!

Hope you're managing to take care of you! All this worry takes its toll.

He will feel worse before better as mentioned
It’s very early days for meds to kick in, being one that takes meds and have done for many years 62 now
I would say
Let him get stable on the 25mg before upping dose (my opinion) as he will get some more symptoms in few days
Nausea
Broken sleep. Too much or can’t sleep
Appetite may go
Anxiety heightened, snappy
Just a few

I find gp’s /psych are often quick to get you to therapeutic dose, and it’s not always the right answer.
If things get too bad, symptoms wise he could ask gp for some low dose diazepam 2ng or 5mg to take the edge off whilst starting up.

If you can afford it he, he needs therapy also just to talk, open up to a stranger about what’s brought it on etc (if anything)
Teach him strategy’s to cope

@Memom thanks for that I will have a look, I think it's something DS will watch.
I feel 100 years older since this started, but since Ds has been off work I've slept better.

@granadagirl Thankyou that's helpful advice. I am paying for a private counseller and he is going next week. She has really good reviews so I'm hoping she can help him. He was dead against the idea at first but has now agreed.
I think he just wants to get better now which can only be a good thing.

The antidepressants will probably mean that he gets drunk a bit quicker - it will be fine as long as he doesn’t overdo it. He definitely needs to be off his work but there will be feelings of “ failure” about this on side because of the depression. Hopefully the counsellor will help him understand how some of his reactions at the moment are coloured by the illness.
And if he gets some of frustration out by blaming you - it’s better than him blaming himself.
The sertraline may well help his anxiety a bit before his mood lifts , and yes - it can be just small things initially. I think actually he should try to get up to 50 mg reasonably soon - he’s been so unwell and 25 mg won’t be enough. If he’s not going to be able to tolerate it then it’s better to know that - so he can change to an alternative sooner. Mirtazepine can be helpful in people who don’t tolerate sertraline - as it works differently.
I sent a link before about the “black dog” May not be any use to you but it helped a family member going through depression.
I am glad to see your thread - I was worried when the other one was deleted. And so happy you are seeing even a tiny improvement.

Thankyou @Strictlybakeoff I'm glad you found me!
The GP did say that the 25mg is a really low dose and she only started him on that as he was so worried about the side effects. Ideally I'd like him to be on the 50mg for a week or so before he goes back to work.
I think he is relieved to be away from work, he was just spiralling out of control with anxiety and panic.

I’m glad you put a new thread up OP.

I spent a while looking for your old one as I didn’t get a deletion message or anything it just disappeared and I was a little worried.

At least there is much more hope and positive steps forward from when you very first posted! It’s good to try and think how far along you have both come.