So worried please help, DS Mental Health Journey, Part 2 *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[WhatNowFrantic]

I got the last thread deleted as it became quite outing but the support on here has been such a help to me so I've started this thread.
So DS started AD at the weekend and is so far feeling awful, he's pale, pupils dilated, feels anxious and dizzy. I don't think he realises how ill he is.
He's off work so I'm hoping they start to kick in soon. I'm worried he's got too much time on his hands while he's off and don't want him sat thinking.
Of course it's all my fault at the moment as I dragged him to the GP and got him to have time off. He's just not in a good place right now.

@Motherclucker01 I'm glad you found me!😊 there was a deletion message but it seems to have gone now. I was worried about the thread becoming too outing as I was going into detail with regards to DS job etc
I agree we have tentatively turned a corner and DS now realises he needs help.
I really hope we are through the worst but I'm not being complacent

@WhatNowFrantic - it is very normal for ADs do knock you for 6 when you first start on them and when they are increased. It may take a while to get the right dose or right meds. Is he due to have a psychiatric assessment? If he is very ill he may find it difficult to stick to the meds - i.e thinking they are making things worse so keep an eye on that. Don't expect too much of him - it could well be a bit up and down. You can initially get a boost from the meds but this calms down after a while and they may need to be increased to get the same effect. Encouraging healthy eating, sleep, no alcohol will all help. Good luck - your DS is very lucky to have you and I wish you both all the best

Hi OP

I was on your other thread. It's great news that he has started the ADs and is going to try therapy. I've got no experience of sertraline so I'm no help there.

I know he doesn't want you to be going on and on at him but it's important for him to know that mental health is just the same as any other illness. Except it's more like a repetitive strain injury where things build up over time rather than picking up a virus. The brain is just an organ the same as the liver or whatever, and it's not a correct chemical balance. Too much strain and the balance goes too far one way. That is all.

I know I felt like it was somehow a weakness unique to me (even though I knew other people get depression). I hope the therapist helps him with this.

Are you sure that your DS' diagnosis is correct? If your ds has bipolar, AD's may not work and may actually make him feel worse. If he has bipolar then mood stabilizers will be much more effective.

Oh Frantic I was so worried when the thread was deleted 💐I am so glad to hear that your son is off work for now there really is so much love and support and great advice on here take care xx

I've found you too frantic. So pleased things are heading in the right direction now, there may be ups and downs yet to come but with your support he'll get through it

I was wondering about his diagnosis too and if he's seen an actual psychiatrist or psych nurse?

I was wondering about his diagnosis too and if he's seen an actual psychiatrist or psych nurse?

I was wondering about his diagnosis too and if he's seen an actual psychiatrist?

Thanks everyone for your encouraging words. I'm glad you are all finding the new thread!
@UndertheCedartree and @SofiaAmes
DS has only seen the GP, he hasn't mentioned seeing anyone else. The person he is seeing next week is a psychotherapist.
What makes you think it's Bipolar?

You have described my step son. I deleted a thread because it was too outing in step parenting. He is slightly older than your Ds, but unfortunately he has stopped taking the meds and nobody professional sees him because he saw a psychiatric nurse for 3 appointments and then 'disengaged' I'm finding that services are so stretched that nobody is monitoring him as he's an adult. Please monitor the medication, it will help and there are alternatives if one doesn't suit. It's good that he feels he wants to go out. My step son spends a lot of time sleeping and hasn't been able to work or even contemplate working for over a year. I wish your Ds and you so much happiness

@Lightuptheroom Thanks for replying, I'm sorry your step son isn't taking the medication and is disengaged. How long did he take the medication for?
I discovered in our area the waiting list to see an NHS mental health professional can be 6-9 months!
Fortunately I am able to pay for a private psychotherapist which I am extremely grateful for (who knew I would use my PPI money on this!!)
I really hope your DSS eventually finds the help he needs

I'm so pleased that you've come back!

You're all doing so well and it's great to see that things might finally be heading in the right direction

I really hope so @TokyoSushi
DS is so impatient I really hope these AD work or I fear he may give them up. Got to keep positive!

@WhatNowFrantic - your GP can refer your DS to the community mental health team if she thinks it necessary. I really hope he makes a connection with the psychotherapist and it is helpful. Do you know what kind of therapy he will have?

@UndertheCedartree The psychotherapist said they will assess DS and decide what therapy he needs.
I was starting to get worried tonight, DS went out to meet a friend, said he wouldn't drink, they were going for a meal. He went at 6 and has only just got back.
I age about 100 years when he goes out now

No particular reason to think that he's bipolar, just that it's often under diagnosed (especially by non-psychiatrists) and AD's not working and causing agitation is a really significant sign that there might be bipolar rather than straight depression. My ds is bipolar, so I know a lot about it. I was told by multiple psychiatrists that if ds said the medication was "doing nothing," that that is often a sign that it's working because he's feeling "normal." But important to note that "doing nothing" is very different than making him feel awful and not helping with the depression.

Hi Frantic,
I wasn’t on your last thread but wanted to post to wish you support, what from you’ve posted it sounds like you’re trying your best to support you son, and even if he doesn’t always acknowledge it, he knows you care - and that’s so important.

Re the bipolar comments, I don’t know enough about your sons experience to offer any advice but I wouldn’t worry too much about not responding to anti d’s meaning his diagnosis is incorrect. This article explains a little more about the tablets themselves - while they can be really helpful for some people, for some they can take a little longer to work, and for some (unfortunately) they don’t work as hoped for - but that doesn’t mean nothing will, just that that particular medicine (or medical approach) may not be the best fit. www.google.ie/amp/s/www.newscientist.com/article/mg23931980-100-nobody-can-agree-about-antidepressants-heres-what-you-need-to-know/amp/

I work in mental health and know that the pathways to care can be really hard for those waiting on help, and families and those that care. It’s unfair that people have to fight and wait to access services. I hope that the counselor you have found is helpful.

I think what I wanted to add was that supporting others can be really hard - I wondered if you’d be directed to any resources that could offer you support! I’m not sure what age your son is but young minds (Under 25yrs) have a parent helpline.
Mind has a carers/family section -
www.mind.org.uk/media-a/2903/supporting-someone-else-2017.pdf
Or your local Carers Trust may also be able to direct you to local support that operates in your area.

I’m not sure how open your son is to talking about his experiences - but if he is just beginning to be open to conversation, The campaign against living miserably website - www.thecalmzone.net - may be helpful (they work with mental health ambassadors to reduce stigma and encourage conversations about mental health, particularly for young men).

Feeling worried is completly understandable. You seem to be doing so well. Hoping you managed to get some sleep yourself tonight. Don’t forget to take care of you too 💪

@MissingCoffeeandWine Thankyou I've just read that article, it's really interesting. Brings up more questions than answers in my mind. I'm glad DS is seeing the psychotherapist, I think if he feels comfortable and opens up it will be a big help🤞

So pleased to have found your new thread - I’ve been thinking of you & hoping all is well. Hopefully your DS is starting to turn a corner now, but you mustn’t be disappointed if he has a bad day again, it’s to be expected. He is generally going in the right direction, and one of the most useful things anyone ever said to me when I felt I wasn’t getting anywhere was “you can only go backwards if you were going forwards in the first place”. As for the alcohol, the official advice of course is not to drink - but one of the main reasons for that is that it lessens the effect of the ADs, so that would be a shame at this stage when he really needs to start feeling the effect of them.

Hey, I just found this thread - I'm so glad things seem to be going in the right direction!! Don't forget to be kind to yourself too - it's bloody hard work supporting someone with mental health issues. Hugs!

Thankyou both
I tried telling DS that the alcohol will slow up the effect of the AD but you know what they are like at that age, they know best!
He has a cold now to add to his misery, just going to ask the pharmacist what drugs he can take if needed.

So after a couple of days seeing friends, DS has taken to his bed today😣 I know he feels abit rubbish having a cold but it's made me abit sad today. I know it's very early days etc etc but I just feel abit down today too.

Hugs. If he's feeling ill with the cold, being in bed is probably a good plan. Make sure you take care of you too - get yourself some tea and cake, or rewards of your choice!

If he can get up & about, make sure he does that - get outside, daylight, fresh air, “look up not down” as they said to me.