Had the police round this morning

[Notinthemood04]

They'd had "several" reports about me leaving my younger daughter in the car on the school road while I drop my older one at school. This eventually became 2 reports and I know who they are from, although I don't know this person's name.
Even though I haven't done anything wrong in the eyes of the law, the policewoman said she would never even have left a 10 year old alone in a car ever, and would have to refer me to social services.
I have had to agree I will not leave her alone in the car again for the 2 minutes it takes, even though I feel it it safer to leave her strapped into her car seat rather than take her out of the car and into the road. The car is no more likely to get hit in those 2 mins than in the 5 mins we all spend in the car waiting for the school gates to open.
I feel utterly shit and deflated, and like I now I have to do something that feels more of a risk to me than my current not ideal choice.
I don't know if social services will visit me or not. It doesn't really matter.
AIBU as a parent to think that I am capable of making my own choice as to how to best keep both of my children safe? DD2 is 3.7 in case that matters.

I think it's correct you have been reported and have to answer to social services tbh.

@TabbyMumz

Considering 17 year olds are allowed to drive, I doubt they could make it illegal for under 18's to be in the petrol station

I would could tell a tragic story of a fatality involving a child in a puddle suit (actually happened not far from me) Won't stop everyone putting puddle/snow suits on their children.
Everyone leaves their 3 year old child unsupervised for a few minutes at some point. Anyone saying they don't is lying.

This is less risky that leaving a child in a different room when you go for a shit, unless everyone takes their children with them to the toilet?

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou

My car doesn’t have a handbrake.

There is a button to press to put it into Park if you have the keys in the ignition

If the keys are out of the ignition then you can’t turn the parking button off

@yellowallpaper I don't see how you can justify leaving a child for 5 minutes unsupervised in a car (and yes they could actually be awake for those full 5 minutes) when you have a real problem with someone keeping their child in full view in the car for just a few minutes.

Your car parked in a quiet street is more likely to be broken in to than the OP's at a school drop off.

Her car is just as likely (or unlikely as the case may be) to be hit while she and her children are either in it or exiting it as it is to be hit with just one child in it.

I actually think that you are far more irresponsible and have often sat in my car waiting for a child to wake up, I would never leave them to sleep in their unsupervised. I have definitely run back in to the house to get forgotten items with the car locked but never for more than a minute.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

If only I COULD go to the toilet alone.....

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Sorry YABU. Yes it’s unlikely but anything can happen in a few minutes!

Just popping back with the end of the situation.

I received a letter from SS today saying they'd tried to contact me without success (I've had no missed calls) but having reviewed the information from the police it is not their intention to take any further action. They have said to be mindful of the safeguarding concerns the police raised about leaving DD2 in the car whilst taking DD1 to the school gate.

So that's it.

So hopefully you arent going to do it again?

Does this mean that this report to SS will appear on your children Drs files?

@Stoppinby

I don’t have a major issue with the OP leaving her child in a car on a road. It’s her choice. I just said I personally wouldn’t do it, just like most people on this thread.

You clearly didn’t read what I put. My toddler was asleep. Why on earth would I have left him wide awake? He wasn’t on a road, but in my flat driveway. Strapped in to his Besafe rear facing seat. We live in a quiet cul d sac, where all we see is the postman daily. I live in a village not a city. It’s deadly quiet here. Very little crime. I watched the car from the window while I had a coffee or did the washing up. I checked him every 5 minutes. I have absolutely no doubt SS wouldn’t have been interested as I have done several child safeguarding courses.

I have never left any child in the car on a roadway or at a petrol station, but my driveway is safe in my opinion. If you feel it’s not then it’s your problem. Parent your way and I’ll parent mine.

He felt safer in the car than he did asleep in my enclosed garden.

If you or others choose to be more cautious then that is your choice.
Ps. He is now 6 and was never even bothered by sleeping in the car.

@Notinthemood04 that's great, it's not really surprising it isn't being taken further. They would have half the parents at my dcs school up for investigation! Just to reassure you, this is considered perfectly normal where I live, especially given the circumstances you describe and I think you've got an undue battering on this thread. This is a parenting difference, it's not neglect.