Had the police round this morning

[Notinthemood04]

They'd had "several" reports about me leaving my younger daughter in the car on the school road while I drop my older one at school. This eventually became 2 reports and I know who they are from, although I don't know this person's name.
Even though I haven't done anything wrong in the eyes of the law, the policewoman said she would never even have left a 10 year old alone in a car ever, and would have to refer me to social services.
I have had to agree I will not leave her alone in the car again for the 2 minutes it takes, even though I feel it it safer to leave her strapped into her car seat rather than take her out of the car and into the road. The car is no more likely to get hit in those 2 mins than in the 5 mins we all spend in the car waiting for the school gates to open.
I feel utterly shit and deflated, and like I now I have to do something that feels more of a risk to me than my current not ideal choice.
I don't know if social services will visit me or not. It doesn't really matter.
AIBU as a parent to think that I am capable of making my own choice as to how to best keep both of my children safe? DD2 is 3.7 in case that matters.

I have only just started leaving my 8yr old ( for couple of minutes) in the car alone and even then I'm on-edge so most of the time force her to come into the shop with me.

I don’t think a small child undoing a belt and escaping from a locked car is that unlikely, personally! They are little escape artists!

nowadays petrol stations wont let under 18s walk across the forecourt.

Well as it is legal to buy petrol from 16 AND legal to ride a petrol /diesel scooter from 16 and a car from 17 I don’t think that’s correct. I generally avoided having to refuel if my DCs were with me but if they were they stayed in the car while I refuelled and came with me when I went to pay. I started leaving them in the car when the oldest was around ten.

Not all cars have handbrakes

Is that true? I’ve never come across a car without a parking brake. Even my brand new (well a few months old) automatic car has a parking break! Yes it’s an electronic brake applied by button rather than lever but they can still be overridden so that a car can be moved in the event of breakdown.

TabbyMumz it is simply not true that under 18's are not allowed to walk across a petrol station forecout. Where have you seen that?

I leave my 6 and 4 year olds in the car while I pop into the shop. They have always been fine. That example of the little girl drowning isn't a good one as the mother left her with the handbrake off and not strapped in to her car seat, I'm surprised that she wasn't charged to be honest. There's not much you can do now though, I wouldn't risk doing it again

Actually the police were wrong, it is an offence to leave a child alone that may put them in danger or cause unnecessary stress. Government guidance is young children should never be left alone.

A brand new maintained car can be just as dangerous as a new one.

Laugh all you want yellow. These things CAN and DO happen.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-wales-46347368

nowadays petrol stations wont let under 18s walk across the forecourt.

Must be a bit awkward for 17 year old drivers... just not true! Why have you said that as if it's a fact when it clearly isn't?

Herringbone you've posted a link to the same story as someone else. She was left with no seatbelt and no handbrake on on a verge leading to the water! It's a bit different!

We take risks every time we do anything. We drive on roads where countless people have been killed in car accidents which could just as easily be us or anyone else in the car

It is a thousand times more risky to drive on the roads with or without a child. Doesn't stop people driving. Being born is even more dangerous. Doesn't mean we don't have cars or children.

as the mother left her with the handbrake off

I'm sure she didn't leave it off intentionally. It's easy to make a mistake

And yes obviously we take risks every day/driving/crossing street etc... It still doesn't mean I shouldn't minimise the risks that I'm able to.

and not strapped in to her car seat

What difference would that have made anyway? The poor child drowned. She would have done so whether she was strapped in her car seat or not.

She told the child to get in the back. With that she thinks she managed to undo the handbrake. She didn’t leave her on a very steep hill and go

Off you go then love....

But she didn’t intentionally leave it off.

That’s a guilt she’s going to live with for the rest of their life

@yellowallpaper

I would just like to let you know that I agree whst the OP did is fine, I don't even think leaving a child in the car to sleep and check on them every 5 minutes is bad, but in your first post you made it sound like you thought the op was wrong to do what she did, and what you do is different.

OK after further reading, it turns out you do think the OP was in the wrong. So weird

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion
There is a world of difference between leaving a child parked up in a road and leaving them out of sight with leaving a sleeping toddler for a maximum of 5 minutes in sight of the window on a flat driveway in a cul de sac. On a road it's possible for the car to be hit by another car or the child (not asleep) opens the door or let's off the handbrake. I would not leave a child parked up on a main road. It's all about having the sense to assess a risk. Ridiculous to compare the two.

"TabbyMumzit is simply not true that under 18's are not allowed to walk across a petrol station forecout. Where have you seen that?"
On a thread on here last week.

@yellowallpaper

I think what the OP did had more risk attached to it and is “worse”, but what you did isn’t fine either in my opinion! I would rather be “neurotic” in both instances and either sit in my car in your case, or expend the energy to unstrap and carry my child in the OP’s.

@yellowallpaper

I think what the OP did had more risk attached to it and is “worse”, but what you did isn’t fine either in my opinion! I would rather be “neurotic” in both instances and either sit in my car in your case, or expend the energy to unstrap and carry my child in the OP’s.

It would be really awkward if under 18s couldn't walk across a petrol station, what happens if you pass your test and buy a car at 17? Does your mother have to go and fill it up for you? Although I suppose you could go to a pay at the pump station.

Sorry - Internet playing your and posted twice!