To think that this is not the act of a decent person?

[greysunrise]

Name change for obvious reasons.

I was looking at pictures of my kids on DH's phone yesterday when I came across a photo of an overweight woman wearing leggings. He'd clearly taken the picture secretly as she was minding her own business walking in front of him towards the station, he must've have the picture on his way to work.
He has form for this and I know he would have sent the picture along with a nasty comment about weight to a friend whom he regularly sends/receives porn to/from and other sexist memes/jokes. I have a real problem with this but he claims it just male banter and I'm being uptight. I just feel this behaviour crosses the line and is damn right nasty!

He sounds vile, Im sure he’s a perfect adonis to be judging ppl, sounds like a petty wee bully.

that's so mean

Imo catch him naked .
Take photo.
Laugh.

That’s disgusting, everything you’ve said about his behaviour is! I wouldn’t want to be with him and I wouldn’t want my kids learning their behaviour from him.

Wow

How childish. I would go right off my dh if he did stuff like that. He sounds like he hasn’t grown up yet....I doubt he ever will.

It's banter between mates. He didn't send it you, so no need for you to get offended over it is there. I don't snoop into partners things nor him to mine. Conversations between friends are private, no matter the contents.

That’s horrible. I’d take an unflattering photo of him and text it to him with a nasty comment as it’s “only banter”

Why do you insist on dating a loser, OP?
Like, why?

Are you really worth so little that you couldn't possibly couple up with a man who isn't, well, a piece of shit?

That’s awful. I agree with why, take the piss out of him. I bet he won’t find it funny then

@Greggers2017

Is it really of no interest to you that your partner is a decent human being?

What is MORE relevant than someone's character to your relationship with them?

What a dick. That’s an incredibly unattractive trait.

Sending porn to each other would put me off. The other stuff is the icing on the cake.

I’d probably worry he’s filming me during sex and sending the footage on to his mate.

If we summarily executed anyone who uttered the words "it's only banter" the world would be a much better place. It is never "only banter" to the person that's being bullied or victimised.

Conversations between friends are private, no matter the contents.

Don’t talk shite.

Grim. Speaks to his character, and his character is devoid of kindness and decency.

Well you married a sexist pig so not really a surprise when he behaves like one

I’m with TooTrue.
Banter is just a way to minimise nasty behaviour.
You’re not uptight. He’s a misogynist.

This is not what decent men do, my DH messages his friends about work, football, formula 1, never any horrendous shit like that!

What a revolting specimen of a 'man' he is.

You're not uptight. He's a misogynist.

Exactly.
Though I am now starting to believe that if more women WERE uptight, maybe men would start reining their bullshit in. My life's waaaay better since I did a 180 and became Uptight. Shit flies no more.

DH and his (male) family had form for this - making jokes that are offensive to a particular person or group. DH and BIL now feel awkward with cousins etc who still think this kind of lads banter is ok.

It's not banter because it's not fucking funny he must be stupid to boot. What a catch. He feels entitled to assess whether women are acceptable wank material or laughable to him and his porn buddy. He's a nasty piece of shit that is probably butt hurt about up skirting laws.

Yuk!

It is not 'male' banter. It is dickhead banter. It isn't even immature banter, my 15 year old wouldn't even do that, it is simply nasty behaviour from a nasty person.

This is the real him and you cant change that, he puts a front on for you as he knows you wouldn't accept it. Very unattractive.