To rehome him?

[gallgal]

Our male cat, that is? He's 13, and we've had him since he was a kitten. In the last two years his spraying has got so out of hand that we are now in the situation where he is soiling absolutely any object made of fabric anywhere in our house.

We have two children, one is a toddler and the other, the five year old, is autistic. So we have lots of laundry, blankets, toys etc all over our house, and I do my best to pick up after them but I can't get everything put away.

Today I found he had pissed all over DS's pyjamas on his bedroom floor, all over a clean and folded pile of laundry on the sofa (that I hadn't had a chance to put away yet) and all over the rug in DD's room.

Vet has ruled out urinary tract infection and says it could be dementia(?!)

I can't live like this any more. I can't stay on top of all the spraying and laundry it generates. I'm utterly miserable.

AIBU to rehome the cat? He clearly hates it here anyway.

I also doubt that it is dementia and I suspect that the vet is only suggesting this because he or she hasn't actually got a clue what is causing it. What cognitive tests did they perform on the cat to come up with this diagnosis I wonder? One of my cats (and we never figured out which one!) started to do this when she was only four years old. It was HORRENDOUS. Pee everywhere. I was forever cleaning the house with Jeyes Fluid which is what they use to clean houses with decomposing dead bodies in them apparently. We used to have an ordinary cat flap which meant that any of the other neighbourhood cats could also come into the house. We never actually saw other cats in the house. But I did wonder if that was making her territorial or stressed. We changed to a cat flap that recognises our cats' microchips so no other cats could get in and the peeing immediately stopped. In our new house (also with a microchip catflap) there has never been a problem. My cats are both 19 now and no signs of pee or dementia! Have any new cats appeared in the neighbourhood recently? And to all those posters on here saying PTS. What you actually mean is Kill The Cat so please stop using that ridiculous euphemism. I would definitely take the cat to a different vet for a second opinion and / or consult a behavioural psychologist. Also, do you have a friend or relative the cat could stay with for a week or so? It would be useful to see how he behaved, spraying wise, in a completely new environment.

Poor thing

Thirteen is young for dementia. I do think you should have him scanned for urinary stones, and if that is clear try a behaviourist before having him destroyed. He is not young enough to re-home, and who would want him? But he is not so old that having him put down seems the kindest option.
When I had a baby and a toddler, I also had an old dog with incontinence. He had spinal problems which affected his bladder. I washed him and his bed very frequently, washed the floors, put down newspaper at night etc. It was about two years of that before he died. I really loved that dog, and yes it was sometimes the last straw to be mopping up wee, but I did not want to have him PTS before his time.
Does your cat get any fuss and attention in the evening when the children are asleep ?

You’re in a very difficult situation, OP, and I feel for you. You’re trying to do the right thing for everyone. I don’t know the answer. But can you find a specialist animal-related forum where you might get answers from people with, eg, veterinary expertise?

I think putting a thirteen year old cat, who has always lived in a house with people, outdoors alone, with or without a heated house , would be incredibly cruel.

Feel your pain. You could maybe try a behaviourist. Our elderly cat pees on beds and duvets when she is upset - usually triggered by something changing such as house guests, renovations, going away on holidays, that sort of thing. Have ended up changing bedsheets in the middle of the night and doing multiples washes to have bed linen for everyone. Has anything changed in your household routine?

Ensure doors aren’t left open

Which part of the autistic 5 year old who will open doors did you not grasp?

Thee is something seriously wrong with some of the people on this thread, and it isn't the OP.

If your cat does have dementia - I'm sure any form of rehoming will be distressing for him. You are all he has known for 13 years. He clearly is unwell and you have explored all avenues, and tried various things in hope of some solution. It's not worked. In my opinion, you would be kinder to put him to sleep. And I say this as an animal lover who has 3 older cats of my own.

I love my cats and put up with all kinds of crap (literally) from them. My old girl is pretty disgusting. Just upturned her litter tray earlier.
If it is dementia I would have my cat PTS. Cats don't need that kind of stress.
Some charities will foster cats for a short period and that will show whether the cat is stressed by the family or not.
I'd talk to the CPL about your options they are very understanding.
It must be awful putting up with this and a stressful family life as well.

I am an animal lover with a cat and dog who I love dearly and clean up all kinds of horrors from them. But I am realistic enough to know that I count cope with this OP and for me my own sanity and having a clean and hygienic house for my children would be the main factors. We can love animals and still be realistic about things.

Maybe phone a cat sanctuary who would take your cat in and be able to cope with your cat’s needs.
It seems harsh to have a cat PTS because it has lost its way with peeing.
Give them a call.

Pretty awful for underfunded cat shelters also if they're supposed to take on your elderly cat because you've had enough of him.I fund raise for our local one and it's a huge struggle.

SirVixoOfVixhall but he obviously isn't that keen on being in the house with the people anymore. Maybe at 13 he wants the quiet life and he would get that having his own home outdoors and it also stops him ruining the house.

I have an outdoor cat. He obviously spends a lot of time indoors too and we don't have a house in the garden for him as he comes in early evening for the night but if he started peeing all over the house, this is what I would do. I don't even have a litter tray for him. He does all his business outside. He's never pee'd or pooped in the house once

Cat nappies. I am sure I have seen them.

Could be diabetes or kidney problems.

I have had a cats with both

The diabetic cat we gave injections to him with each meal (we took the vet prescription for insulin to the local chemist and bought it for 1/2 the price the vet was charging)

The cat we had with kidney disease we had to take him for at first weekly then fortnightly injections and tests.
Gradually we got to a point of once every 6 months before the vet tested him to find he was free of kidney disease
Something that was unheard of.

He lived to be 20.

We have a cat who spent 4 years peeing in corners and on carpets. She peed so badly in one room we had to rip the carpet up. I tried everything - litter types, closed trays, multiple trays, feliway etc.

What eventually has sorted it is putting a huge tray - it's actually an underbed storage box - in a spot which she had just started soiling in. It is high sides and uses her preferred litter. Fingers crossed, we have had no accidents for 6 months. I was at my absolute wits' end.

I am sure you know, but you mention Dettol - I was always told not to use bleach or similar as the alkaline substances remind cats of pee and they were on them. We used biological washing powder and then surgical spirit liberally over the area.

I would suggest (like PP) a vet check if you haven't before now, most likely something medical has led to this change and it may be kinder to let him go.

I'm involved with a dog rescue and most sudden changes we are contacted about are medical, either manageable and the dog stays put, or sadly too far gone and that kindest / hardest decision has to be made.

soupdragon - yep. Something about putting animals to sleep brings out the feral nut jobs eager to keep animals alive at all costs and baying for blood.

My concern is far more for the OP and the fact that she has an autistic 5 year old, a toddler and her husband works away.

Nobody can foresee these kind of challenges and tying herself in knots for years is enough to test anyone's limits.

I would not hesitate to PTS in these circumstances, especially if scans showed no obvious health issues. Better the mental health of the OP stays in shape than subjecting herself to the anguish she currently faces having to clean up after a pissing cat all day.

And I can empathize because I have an 11 year old 80lb shepherd mix who is unable to hold urine and leaks everywhere. He does not have diabetes and to test for Cushings would cost upwards of $700. Thankfully we have a tiled floor so we spend a lot of time mopping up after him. And I find it fucking frustrating with our 8 and 5 year old in the house, and he doesn't piss in the laundry!

You have my sympathies and support OP

He might have feline cystitis. It's less common in tomcats but not unheard of. That could explain him urinating in odd places. Although it's obviously annoying, please don't give up on your old boy. You are all he knows.

@Strokethefurrywall And yet you have not put your dog to sleep, even though you say you would not hesitate to put a cat to sleep if you were in OP's shoes. That plus your insults "yep, something about putting animals to sleep brings out the feral nut jobs eager to keep animals alive at all costs and baying for blood" is exactly what makes animal lovers defend them so strongly on threads like this.

Bizarre that the entire world is trying to humanise animals so much. It’s not the same as giving your children up. It’s the not the same as putting a human down. And fwiw a lot of humans if incontinent and old as fuck want to be PTS but can’t due to law. I would think YANBU to put an old cat down or rehome him. But then my cat rehomed himself after 12 years and even though I pay for his bills etc he lives full time with my old elderly neighbour. It suits him way better and just shows really that cats will always always chose their own personal comfort over any loyalty. I bet if he could talk he would want out.

Obviously rule out anything medical but has anything changed about your DC's routines or behaviours? One of my dcats has been known to express his dislike for something or someone by peeing on their stuff or in their room. For example, dsds contact pattern changed and he peed in the middle of her room for three days in a row. He settled into the new pattern and it stopped. Another example would be ds bought a new deodorant. Dcat peed all over his washing. Ds went back to his regular deodorant and no more pee.

Cats are quite sensitive to change, so maybe he's trying to tell you that there's something unsettling in his world.

My dog isn't in any pain, isn't pissing in my laundry, isnt showing potential signs of dementia and I don't have an austistic 5 year old and toddler and a husband who works away.

If I was dealing with a urinary incontinent 80lb dog who ruins carpets and other soft furnishings. and in the situation as the Op is, I absolutely would put him down especially if vet suspects dementia.

My mental health and the health of the family would come first. I would not fight to keep a pet alive at all costs.

And you don't have to cross out my statement - it doesn't make it any less true and I stand behind it.

Some posters on this site are feral nut jobs when it comes to animals 🤷🏽‍♀️

I wouldn’t say 13 was old for a cat.

Middle aged, definitely not old.

I think further investigation is necessary.

There are a lot of medical reasons why a cat can suddenly start peeing in places other than their litter tray.
The vet seems to have dismissed a UTI and not gone any further.

Maybe a different vet. One that wants to find out exactly what is wrong.

Could be as simple as cat needs a quiet space away from the children. Maybe a high up spot that they feel secure in.

Few mental cat people on here. MEMO - children are more important than bloody cats. End of.