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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird comments from DH

193 replies

PassAnotherGlass · 02/02/2020 21:39

DD15 went shopping today, when she got back DH and I asked to see what she got. One of the items was a dress that was just above knee length. I told her it was lovely etc etc. DH, on the other hand, said “I’d like it if you weren’t my daughter” Confused. DD and I both found this really weird. He can’t see the problem. Am I being to sensitive?

OP posts:
Dutch1e · 03/02/2020 11:19

The saddest part is that he didn't just take your & your daughter's word for it when you told him his wording was off. He needs to be convinced, and that's the real problem.

Ilovepinot · 03/02/2020 11:21

My Irish mother gave me a lecture about sex after seeing me in my high school ball dress!

JosefKeller · 03/02/2020 11:30

Gosh MN posters have such a horribly twisted mind Confused

I could have said exactly the same about one of MY dress, that wouldn't be suitable for my 15 year old. So I am a perv according to MN. Good grief.

JosefKeller · 03/02/2020 11:31

The dress is a problem but only for the women he thinks are “his”

Surely the dress is either appropriate for all teenagers or none? Why only inappropriate for his teenager?

or the dress is not appropriate for any teenager, but he's not in charge of others teens...
Some items of clothing are not appropriate for anyone at all, but as a parent your only job is to stop your own kids from wearing them.

Vanhi · 03/02/2020 12:46

He obviously doesn't mean you look sexy in it and I wish it was on another girl so i would fancy her otherwise surely he would realise why that was wrong? Unless he's generally a perve

Well whatever he meant by it, he hasn't acknowledged it's wrong. My dad used to make comments about how he was eyeing up my arse. Thing is, if you met my dad you really wouldn't think he could say something like that. But he did, to me as a young teenager. In general, my dad actually tends more to prudishness but he did see me in a sexual way. So to anyone who thinks MN posters are mad to think men sometimes sexualise the relationship with their daughters, we're not. We may well have been on the receiving end of it, and not from swivel-eyed loons with 'paedophile' stamped on their foreheads.

The saddest part is that he didn't just take your & your daughter's word for it when you told him his wording was off. He needs to be convinced, and that's the real problem.

This, absolutely. He could have said 'it's a lovely dress, but do you think maybe not appropriate at your age'. Instead he said something that is open to a whole variety of interpretations. He should at the very least acknowledge that his wording was way off. Whether or not his thoughts were way off is another matter.

Urkiddingright · 03/02/2020 12:56

He just thinks it isn’t appropriate for his daughter, he didn’t mean anything by it. Christ, it must be awful to think your own husband is this much of a pervert.

Microwavedtea · 03/02/2020 13:09

I dont read it in any way other than that he thinks it isnt age appropriate.

Vanhi · 03/02/2020 13:22

Christ, it must be awful to think your own husband is this much of a pervert.

Being awful doesn't necessarily make it wrong though, does it?

loobyloo1234 · 03/02/2020 13:28

I worry about some people on here honestly.

It sounds to me like he thought it was a nice dress but probably too grown up/short/revealing etc on his own daughter. I honestly dont understand what is pervy about that

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/02/2020 13:37

Would everyone who's saying he was inappropriate feel the same if OP had said it to her daughter?

KrisAkabusi · 03/02/2020 13:40

Christ, people overreact on this site.

It's the opposite of pervy, he's NOT thinking about his daughter in a sexual way.

74NewStreet · 03/02/2020 13:41

It’s actually really grim to think about op and her 15 yo daughter both convinced the husband/Dad was having pervy thoughts about the dd.
I simply can’t imagine that scenario. Thank God.
The poor bugger...

copperoliver · 03/02/2020 13:58

I find it creepy. Wouldn't like it if it was my husband. X

missyB1 · 03/02/2020 14:05

OP disappeared hmmm..... Hmm

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/02/2020 14:09

@missyB1 well what do you want her to come back and say?

missyB1 · 03/02/2020 14:12

@GiveHerHellFromUs*
Just always makes me wonder when an OP starts this kind of thread then does a disappearing act...

richele4 · 03/02/2020 14:34

Maybe it's badly phrased but it's not pervy and I'm a bit shocked people are thinking it isConfused

LolaDarkdestroyer · 03/02/2020 15:38

Omg! No it's not Pervy I think you have taken it well out of proportion. And it's more weird if you to t as he it that way!

Sux2buthen · 03/02/2020 15:59

Op has probably sensibly hidden this bizarre thread.

LochJessMonster · 03/02/2020 16:11

I dont read it in any way other than that he thinks it isnt age appropriate. this

It's like if she had bought a bikini, he probably would have loved it on his wife, but not on his daughter.

Original poster
PassAnotherGlass · 03/02/2020 16:17

This is the second time he’s said anything about her clothes, the first was more a “those are very short shorts” type thing. I’ve attached a picture of a similar dress to the one she has.

Weird comments from DH
OP posts:
74NewStreet · 03/02/2020 16:25

Oh, come off it, op. That’s a nun’s outfit, stop taking the piss Hmm

loobyloo1234 · 03/02/2020 16:25

So he doesn't want his 15 year old daughter in a tight dress - and you are implying to strangers on MN that he is a pervert?

Has there been any other comments about random young females that you care to elaborate on OP? YABU so far if not

LochJessMonster · 03/02/2020 16:47

the first was more a “those are very short shorts type thing. - perfectly acceptable.

And that dress might have been a bit tight fitting on your DD.

Why are you trying to make your husband out to be pervy?

UrgentHelp12345 · 03/02/2020 16:50

Hmm i feel bad for your husband OP,

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