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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird comments from DH

193 replies

PassAnotherGlass · 02/02/2020 21:39

DD15 went shopping today, when she got back DH and I asked to see what she got. One of the items was a dress that was just above knee length. I told her it was lovely etc etc. DH, on the other hand, said “I’d like it if you weren’t my daughter” Confused. DD and I both found this really weird. He can’t see the problem. Am I being to sensitive?

OP posts:
SapphireSeptember · 03/02/2020 00:09

Above the knee you say? How shocking! Shock FFS, I'd say that's a creepy comment. (Take a look at the dresses girls were wearing in the 1930s, they were really short.)

pallisers · 03/02/2020 00:11

He means she looks nice, but he'd prefer her to be dressed in a nun's habit.

That to me is sleazy. Women/girls divided into sexually available and pure. definition of sleazy.

Also this man's daughter felt his comment was weird. Her dad should listen to this. Or do her feelings not count?

Butterer · 03/02/2020 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TypingoftheDead · 03/02/2020 00:12

I do think it sounds a bit pervy - just reminded me of some of the stuff Donald Trump has said about his daughter.
If he meant "it's a bit too short" why not just say that, instead of something that could be so easily misconstrued if he really didn't mean to imply he found the dress sexy?
My dad once said I looked "attractive" when dressed up to go out somewhere as a teenager - not in a short dress or even anything most men would see as sexy, but I thought it was weird that he'd specifically choose to say attractive, when 'nice' would have done just as well.

busybarbara · 03/02/2020 00:19

Except for the bit where he would like to see a woman who wasn’t his daughter wearing it?

Ah here on MN where we think men don’t look at women at all. It sounds like he said exactly the right thing to me. He was basically saying yes that’s an attractive dress but I don’t like the idea of my own daughter showing off her legs like that. He’s being protective and you’re all a bit weird.

Clymene · 03/02/2020 00:22

Isn't he saying 'I'd like to see another woman wearing that but not you because I don't want men letching at you that way'

I can't see how anyone can put a positive spin on it

UniversalAunt · 03/02/2020 00:22

Sensible dad comment about an outfit bought by his 15yo daughter who is learning how to shop & dress for herself.

Honest & direct, but granted a bit blunt.

I don’t see his comment being about his daughter’s own choice or affecting her self-esteem, but it is an honest reflection on how adult men will see his 15 year old daughter who is young & unlikely to have the experience to manage the attention.

Were the daughter few years older, then his comment would probably be just to compliment her & her great taste

ifyoulikepinacolada · 03/02/2020 00:29

But i mean... unless the OP has left out a massive detail it’s not even a mini dress; it’s just above the knee!

I think it’s a slightly odd comment; but if he can’t see the problem, what’s he said to clarify it?

DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 03/02/2020 00:31

To me it sounds like he's saying it's a nice dress but it's quite short/revealing/grown up. It sounds more like a "you look nice, I think it's too grown up but disregard me I'm your dad" type statement.

He obviously doesn't mean you look sexy in it and I wish it was on another girl so i would fancy her otherwise surely he would realise why that was wrong? Unless he's generally a perve

morrisseysquif · 03/02/2020 00:46

He'd like to letch in a girl wearing it, but not his own daughter.

So he will be letching over 15 yr old girls.

Oo all girls / women are sex objects.

morrisseysquif · 03/02/2020 00:47

So, not Oo

Ratasha · 03/02/2020 00:48

Same for me, DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon

I mean, I suppose it's possible that what he meant was "that's a sexy dress, I'd enyoy seeing other children wearing it" but, particularly as he doesn't see what he's said wrong, I don't think that's a reasonable reading.

busybarbara · 03/02/2020 00:48

Having read the madness in this thread he should have said it looks terrible and gone to watch football

HomerSimpsonSmilingPolitely · 03/02/2020 01:11

He’s uncomfortable with his dad looking sexy

What a wonderful typo. Love it.

CaptainCabinets · 03/02/2020 01:12

I’ve read this exact thread before Hmm

BlokeTarget · 03/02/2020 01:15

Check his phone, iPad or laptop for browser history. Any comment about skirt length or styles is blatantly a signpost for more sinister exploits.

He sounds very shifty. Is he on the sex offenders register by chance?

LTB.

AmelieTaylor · 03/02/2020 01:26

I’d like it if you weren’t my daughter

Is NOT the same as ‘it’s a nice dress love, but it’s a bit short’

It’s just not.

It’s pervy

Brusselsprouts21 · 03/02/2020 02:08

Nah I genuinely think he was trying to say 'i like it, but your my daughter so I don't like it cause its short'. Well along them lines anyway. First initial thought is that it sounds creepy but looking at it from a father-daughter perspective it just looks like the dress is nice but not on his 15 year old daughter as shes his baby.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/02/2020 02:14

My auto-reaction to that was "ewww" - so he'd happily perv on some other teen wearing it but because it's his daughter, then it's not appropriate (Which, thank god for small mercies, but still!)

Not the sort of thing he should be thinking, let alone saying out loud.

dontgobaconmyheart · 03/02/2020 04:10

At 'best' misogynistic, at worst just plain vile ConfusedHmm. That would have turned my stomach OP.

HappyDinosaur · 03/02/2020 04:35

I cant get worked up about this, I'd say more protective dad than pervy. People are majorly overthinking it in my view, poor bloke!

JolieOBrien · 03/02/2020 04:35

I think it was a silly Dad comment .... mine still makes them about me and he is in his 70s.

Flufferbum · 03/02/2020 04:43

I’m 😧 absolutely flabbergasted at the amount of vile things some fathers have said to daughters! What the very fuck! Then again I never had a father & I am a bit naive

Shoxfordian · 03/02/2020 05:23

He's creepy
Has he said anything like this before?

HappyDinosaur · 03/02/2020 05:29

I also wonder if people would feel differently if the mum had said it. Most parents, especially dads feel especially protective towards their daughters.