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AIBU?

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Original poster

Weird comments from DH

193 replies

PassAnotherGlass · 02/02/2020 21:39

DD15 went shopping today, when she got back DH and I asked to see what she got. One of the items was a dress that was just above knee length. I told her it was lovely etc etc. DH, on the other hand, said “I’d like it if you weren’t my daughter” Confused. DD and I both found this really weird. He can’t see the problem. Am I being to sensitive?

OP posts:
Amatteroftime · 02/02/2020 22:58

Ugh sounds pervy, I outwardly cringed. I'm sure he may not have meant it that way but ew ew ew, he needs to apologise to your DD for how that came off.

Ohyesiam · 02/02/2020 23:00

Except for the bit where he would like to see a woman who wasn’t his daughter wearing it? That doesn’t require overthinking, it was actually what he said.

but that’s what makes it ok, surely.
It’s fine for men to fancy women, just not their daughters.
you don’t become celibate because you are a father.

LittlePaintBox · 02/02/2020 23:02

He needs to contain himself to traditional dad-like remarks about things being too short etc. It sounds as if he's one step away from saying she looks 'tarty', or something similar.

Anyway, is just above the knee provocative? What's wrong with seeing a young girl's knees?

lyralalala · 02/02/2020 23:02

I don’t see any issue in that.

He thinks it’s a dress to be worn by a grown woman, not his child

Livelovebehappy · 02/02/2020 23:05

Obviously he means he likes the dress, but thinks it’s too sexy/revealing for his daughter. You’re overthinking OP.

Muzzyarker · 02/02/2020 23:06

Oh FFS. Not creepy or Pervy. Means what he said. He doesn't like it on his daughter. All this ridiculous over reacting does my head in.

SunshineAngel · 02/02/2020 23:09

My god, he's just a typical dad not comfortable with his daughter's dress being so short. Why the hell is everyone turning this poor guy into some kind of weirdo?

saraclara · 02/02/2020 23:09

I didn't read it as at all pervy. Now that others have, I can see what they mean. But there are two ways of interpreting what he said, and unless he's shown sleazebag tendencies before, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

I just thought he meant that she's growing up too fast.

cstaff · 02/02/2020 23:09

Ffs he just wants his dd to stay young, be his child for a bit longer. It was a completely innocent comment. As a pp said you lot are weird!!

Muzzyarker · 02/02/2020 23:10

It often seems any excuse to call men abusive, Pervy etc on MN. Surprised nobody has said to LTB. Ffs.

blue25 · 02/02/2020 23:10

That’s creepy.

Voice0fReason · 02/02/2020 23:13

He may not be perving over his own daughter but he is demonstrating that men (including him) see women and girls as sex objects and how clothing is so linked to sexual attractiveness.

I do think it's a very creepy thing to say.
If your daughter's friend was wearing the same dress, you know what he would be thinking.

Ratasha · 02/02/2020 23:15

Out of curiosity, has anyone on here ever liked an item of clothing but probably wouldn't want to dress their own child in it?

PumpkinP · 02/02/2020 23:29

Creepy imo

Boireannachlaidir · 02/02/2020 23:33

Ugh the hypocrisy, so it's alright for him to perve over another woman/girl then...doesn't matter that they are also someone's daughter.

UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 23:39

Creepy and pervy Sad

UndertheCedartree · 02/02/2020 23:43

He didn't say it was a dress for a grown woman to wear. He said he would be fine with another girl wearing it...then he could letch over her.

pallisers · 02/02/2020 23:44

A man perpetuating the sexualisation of women through clothing choices.

this is it.

We have 2 teenage daughters and I can't imagine dh saying something like this - it is sleazy. My own dad (born 1926) wouldn't have said it either. He wouldn't have thought it either.

pallisers · 02/02/2020 23:45

Out of curiosity, has anyone on here ever liked an item of clothing but probably wouldn't want to dress their own child in it?

Like what? you see a skintight pair of jeans and think "Oh I'd like to see a young man in those but not my 15 year old son". Does that sound right to you?

Ratasha · 02/02/2020 23:49

He didn't say it was a dress for a grown woman to wear. He said he would be fine with another girl wearing it...then he could letch over her
Oh gosh, when did he say that? Should be added to the OP.

Natsel84 · 02/02/2020 23:49

Each to there own and people read it in different ways .
But I had the ick when I read it .

ILearnedItFromABook · 03/02/2020 00:00

It sounds gross, but I'd assume that wasn't how it was meant. Still, it might not hurt to tell him how it sounds, so he doesn't do it again. (Unless he's the type to rebel and do it just to annoy tease you...)

L0bstersLass · 03/02/2020 00:02

I don't think it's at all pervy. I think he's saying that he likes the dress but not the fact that it's his daughter wearing it.

He means she looks nice, but he'd prefer her to be dressed in a nun's habit.

He's not sleazing at all, he's just wishing that his little girl wasn't growing up.

Crunched · 03/02/2020 00:04

Of course it’s not pervy confused. He thinks it’s too grownup for his 15 year old daughter.
I felt the same, and said similar, when DS put a suit on for the first time.

Branleuse · 03/02/2020 00:05

Hes saying its a sexy dress and while its nice, he doesnt approve of her wearing it.

Does sound a bit creepy though, but then i think overprotective dads with their daughters always feels a bit creepy to me