Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
user1472151176 · 03/02/2020 21:33

My young kids hate shopping but we do often all go shopping together at the weekend. Not because anyone enjoys it but because we usually do it after a few hours at the beach on our way home. Makes more sense to stop on on our way back from somewhere rather than me turning out again (I do this too)

5zeds · 03/02/2020 21:34

I honestly don’t care what the other shoppers do. Just do your shopping with or without kids and get on with your lives. I shop alone, with dh, with dh and one, two, three, four or five children. You do you.

Xmasbaby11 · 03/02/2020 21:44

Generally dh or I do shopping on our own but sometimes we go as a 3 or 4. It does take longer but grocery shopping is a normal part of life and good for dc to join in at least from time to time. Dd 8 is autistic and needs preparation and management for a smooth supermarket visit, and this is better for her in the long term than avoiding it completely.

Wingingit247 · 03/02/2020 21:56

@Thewarrenerswife howling 😂😂😂

OMGafourth · 03/02/2020 22:00

I can't get worked up about other people shopping with their kids... But I can when having to take my own! Grin

Blacksackunderthetreesfreeze · 03/02/2020 22:01

I thought this was an established MN orthodoxy, that whole families should never shop together?

I think you’re broadly right Op, but I tend to go on the way back from school run before starting work from home (NB - not skiving - I make sure I do all the hours I’m meant to!). I appreciate not everyone can do that though!

GYNisaliarWTF · 03/02/2020 22:04

@Fr0g
Yes, of course, having a penis makes someone totally incapable of supermarket shopping.

This.

Yes. Grin

WaterOffADucksCrack · 03/02/2020 22:18

For many families there are only a few hours per week together. Although if the children can't behave then only one parent should do the shopping online.

I have strange children who love a vegetable and fruit market stall and a supermarket food shop so they're always well behaved. Dp and I take it in turns to have the treat of staying home!!

squeekums · 03/02/2020 22:24

If you have a DP with a car, are not disabled in both hands AND feet, have at least one fully functioning eye and do not suffer from an uncontrolled condition such as day and night epilepsy. There is no excuse NOT to drive too and share driving. It's not the 1950s but fgs all these women on here who keep saying 'DH drives but I dont' LEARN

I dont drive due to anxiety, thats not visible.
I was almost killed by a truck when we were pulled over as a 16 yr old. I have violent flashbacks in the driver side of a car, front or back.
Even if i wasnt with DP, i wouldnt drive at all.
Yes it makes it hard cos we rural but safety comes first.
Im not safe behind the wheel, i cant even control my breathing or shaking, would you want yourself or your kids on the road im driving on? Id think not
So take your judgement about non drivers who look fine, turn it sideways and shove it square up your ass

Moaning about old people... Hopefully it will come to us all and a bit more respect for them rather than annoyance at their general existence would be nicer
I mentioned that as more of a one extreme to other, its not just families with kids who can get in the way. I actually dont care that they chat in shops. They both stupid expectations on both groups as both groups of people have every right to shop

GreenTulips · 03/02/2020 22:27

people have every right to shop

OP wasn’t asking about ‘rights’

She asked why do families treat the food shop as a day out?

Want to go to the farm kids or Asda?
This weeks it’s Tesco’s or the Ballpark!
Next week we’ll all go to Aldi and bicker over the greens!

FluffyPaws · 03/02/2020 22:45

Totally agree. Am so fed up with kids running around banging into you or just standing in front of the isles and touching everything...and do t get me started on the staff chatting to there mates and co workers while am getting served at the tills being ignored...and then the pulling out the filling of the shelves all the stores onto the floors in big crates etc and you have to try and negotiate around them cut myself twice on them trying to get threw them...and the staff look at you as if your the alien trying to get something from the shelf...why do we put up with it...grumpy old women 😂😂😂🤣

lastburritos · 03/02/2020 22:49

The worst one I saw was a large family so busy bickering over the pizzas that they were unaware of the smallest child in the trolley with the food...with a plastic bag over his head. It was a bag for life and he'd sort of got inside it! Poor kid was that bored! The woman who pointed it out to the parents got a right mouthful Shock

Dilligaf81 · 03/02/2020 23:19

muchbetternow I agree and think you have been targeted for no reason. All these posters saying it's ridiculous but what they mean is why can everyone be like me.

Using the supermarket as a teaching lesson or letting kids have some input is a brilliant idea. I'm sure thses same posters lambasting these ideas would celebrate their dc's school taking kids to the supermarket to budget or plan a meal.
How the hell are children supposed to learn these life lessons if they are kept away from supermarkets because you are a miserable cow.
Do everyone a favour and shop online. The issue is you being intolerant of others people and their choices.

draughtycatflap · 03/02/2020 23:38

”Agree. The retired people doing their shop on Friday lunchtime really irritates me aswell. YOU HAVE ALL DAY TO DO IT”

They have to go at those times because that’s when the fruitcake is reduced.

user1494182820 · 04/02/2020 00:13

This is really dumb. My kids shop with us. Shopping is part of life, so they are involved in that, just as they are involved in all the other tasks and chores we need to do. We engage with them while we shop, so they don't tear about the place and they are genuinely quite helpful a lot of the time (11yo and 2yo, baby less helpful). I will shop at whatever time it suits my family and I couldn't care less if it annoys you.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 04/02/2020 01:03

We don't do it every week but we do take the children shopping sometimes. As someone else said, children are a work in progress. They learn how to behave in public by spending time in public. I am firm on my expectations for their behaviour and do my best to ensure we time it so that they're not too tired or hungry at the time, but I am a believer in children experiencing being in public, at shops, cafes etc. They need to learn that some activities are not fun but are a part of life.

And as someone working in the field of eating disorders, I also believe in involving children in learning about food and the processes involved. We grow our own herbs and veggies where we can, we shop together at times and involve them in cooking when appropriate. My girls are often more willing to try a new vegetable that they have helped pick - eg. When my daughter first saw an eggplant at the shops, she was fascinated by it for some reason and really wanted to try it. If I had simply served it up to her one day, I don't believe she would have been as keen.

BlueHarry · 04/02/2020 01:18

I've never been bothered by other people's DC in the supermarket. Sometimes there might be a baby crying and I'll think, I wish that baby would be quiet, but I'm not actually judging the parents or the baby for it or anything.

Generally my dp does the main shopping because he can drive. I am disabled and cannot drive, before I get leapt on for a being a 1950s housewife. Occasionally I like to come, and so our DD will come too. It's never been an issue as far as I'm concerned. How are kids supposed to learn about all the normal parts of daily life if they get excluded from it? Do some people here genuinely have kids that haven't set foot in a supermarket?

peachxo · 04/02/2020 01:18

I see it from both sides because I can imagine how awful and stressful it could be for a larger family, but we just have one toddler who quite enjoys going to the supermarket with us. I don’t drive, so DH will pick us up after work if we’re out somewhere and we’ll go on the way home to save time.
More often though, a friend of mine comes to pick me up once a week and we do our shopping together. It’s quite sad but we really enjoy it, and gives us time to catch up.
I’m one of those losers who genuinely loves going to the supermarket. I make categorised lists, and meal plans and I love browsing the home section.
Someone get me a life please thanks.

MAFIL · 04/02/2020 01:25

Supermarkets are dreadful places and best avoided as much as possible. I don't understand why anyone would take their entire family unless they had absolutely no other option. But I don't get annoyed by it as rather than thinking other people shouldn't be there, I avoid the wretched places myself. My monthly delivery plan costs less than the fuel to go to the nearest supermarket once a week, I don't get lured into buying stuff I don't need because it looks nice or is on special offer and there are no bored toddlers whatsoever between the delivery van and my kitchen cupboards. The occasional ridiculous substitution is a small price to pay.

pauapaua · 04/02/2020 01:28

Op have you seen you GP, they can help with it Thanks

Dotcomma · 04/02/2020 01:54

Perhaps you should shop at a quieter time, like 6am or shop online - can't expect families to work round you

Chercando · 04/02/2020 02:54

@Needmorecaffine 😂

happycamper11 · 04/02/2020 03:09

I feel the same about Doctor/dentist/optician appointments. Regularly seems to be a whole family outing where practically the whole waiting room is taken up and bored dc run riot.

mummytraveller · 04/02/2020 03:59

As a single parent, what else are we supposed to do? Hmm I use it as a learning tool, we do maths round the store, she understands that no, we cannot buy everything.. people who don't like families being there should stay home

Dellgib85 · 04/02/2020 04:27

Honestly if families doing their weekly food shop offends you, why not just shop online 🙄

Swipe left for the next trending thread