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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
Theonewiththecat · 02/02/2020 16:32

90% of the time I click and collect, and we just nip and get it after swimming on Sunday then I run in for anything I've forgotten or we go super early on a Saturday and dd stays at home and chills by herself.
It's not a fun day out. :)

Cherry678 · 02/02/2020 16:32

Maybe there is NO OTHER PERSON/SUPPORT

Northernsoullover · 02/02/2020 16:32

Grin at the children having input. I can imagine mine inputting jammie dodgers and all sorts of shite! We operate on a 'take it or leave it' system and no, I wouldn't make them eat anything they absolutely hate.

CliveIsAlive · 02/02/2020 16:33

We only ever all go together if it's convenient. Both kids do an activity on Saturday mornings where 1 adult needs to participate and 1 needs to sit on sidelines with other child (classes are one after the other and both kids are under 5). We often do the shop after before driving home.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 02/02/2020 16:33

We both (DH and I) what input in the shopping and we tend to do it on the way back from stuff so the kids usually come.

  • They are annoying though and I often regret it.
fairynick · 02/02/2020 16:34

Many couples work different hours all week and want to spend time together of a weekend, so do their chores together therefore having to bring the kids along.
Also you’re assuming they’re driving there and back. Maybe one parent drives and one doesn’t, and the other wants to have input into the shop. Maybe one has a disability or illness which means they need extra help in public. Maybe they’re running to the shop on the way back from a family outing.
Shopping only takes about half an hour it’s not that long for kids to be too bored and if you don’t want to deal with it then just go at another time when it isn’t as busy or do an online shop.

Ayemama · 02/02/2020 16:35

If you hate going while there are families and children there then maybe you should go one evening instead of the weekend?

Why have you got more of a right to use the shop then a family does?

Personally I do try to avoid doing shopping as a family because I hate shopping and would rather dash in mid week with one child rather then daunder around with both children while my DH looks at every single item on every single isle and adds about £20 of extra to the trolley that we dont need, but that is my choice.
Much like your choice to go shopping when families are out in force.

I know alot of families that go when both parents are available because the mother, who tends to do most of the shopping, wants to make sure that what she needs for the week is bought but the father is the one paying and so they all go.

Fr0g · 02/02/2020 16:35

I don’t drive so dh always had to come to drive home with all the groceries
Yes, of course, having a penis makes someone totally incapable of supermarket shopping.

Leaannb · 02/02/2020 16:35

I use grocery shopping as a teaching moment. On how to budget, how to read labels and besides each one of my kids are responsible for cooking 1 night each week. Meaning they have to plan,budget,shop, cook and clean. They go grocery shopping

user1487194234 · 02/02/2020 16:35

Totally accept people can do what they want
But find it hard to understand why people do it

ElderAve · 02/02/2020 16:36

DH gets in the way more than the DC. It takes far longer if DH comes and we spend more.

Pilot12 · 02/02/2020 16:37

Yes you are, do your shopping online or in the evening if you don't like it.

Needmorecaffine · 02/02/2020 16:37

Teaching moment !

FFS !

Shadyshadow · 02/02/2020 16:37

I kind of get what you mean. But you could say that about any groups.

I often see 2 or 3 women together 3 trolleys, taking up aisle. Why is a group activity?

Or people seeing other people they know blocking an aisle having a catch up.

Or one parent dragging theirs teen about. Or groups of young men and/or women in their early twenties who cant seem to do shopping alone or without shouting across aisles to eachother.

Shopping isnt fun and theres loads of groups that piss me off. But it's a shared space so you have to put up with other people shopping in a way your wouldnt.

I always do ours alone. Dp doesnt drive for health reasons. I hate when he comes with me, so I go alone.

Snowbear20 · 02/02/2020 16:38

Im mean and think DC needs to learn to cope when bored in a supermarket without kicking off 🙈

gamerwidow · 02/02/2020 16:39

This always wound me up but rather than trying to police other people I've dealt with it by doing my food shopping online. I'm happy and the family shoppers are happy too.

Biancadelrioisback · 02/02/2020 16:39

Both DH and I like shopping. We usually go to Lidl on a Friday night straight after picking up DS after work.
It's way easier doing a food shop with two people. Why would I make my own life harder?

TwoZeroTwoZero · 02/02/2020 16:39

Children do have to learn how to behave in a shop at some point. How is that going to happen if they're always left at home?

We all went to Tesco together yesterday. Not for the full weekly grocery shop (we get that delivered) but for some milk, bread, paracetamol and a few other things. We'd been out for the day and decided to nip in on our way home rather than get home and one of us to out again.

Urkiddingright · 02/02/2020 16:40

Online shopping is all well and good but Aldi and Lidl don’t offer it for starters and I personally like to pick my own fruit and veg.

I’m sure there are exceptional circumstances where everyone has to go, maybe they go on their way back from a day out somewhere and it’s just a way of slotting it in. Tbf, I never expect a supermarket to be quiet and definitely not a serene experience!

WorraLiberty · 02/02/2020 16:40

Totally accept people can do what they want
But find it hard to understand why people do it

To teach their kids that not everything in life is fun?

To teach their kids that food doesn't just appear in the fridge and cupboards and that it takes quite a lot off effort to get?

To teach their kids that despite being bored, they need to learn to behave.

I guess the 'problem' some people have with families in supermarkets is more about the children's behaviour, than the fact they're actually there.

lyralalala · 02/02/2020 16:41

When we didn't have a car it needed both of us to carry the shopping home so the kids had to come. Not everyone can afford £40 plus a delivery charge for home delivery

DesLynamsMoustache · 02/02/2020 16:41

I shop online to avoid both things: hauling DD around the supermarket and other people. It's bliss. On the odd occasion I've dropped the ball and had to actually go and do a shop in person, it's been foul and I spend a fortune.

MuchBetterNow · 02/02/2020 16:42

To all the people asking why my dh couldn’t do the shopping alone and the nasty “having a penis” remark. Dh worked a 60 hour week, I was doing most of the cooking and it was easier for me to actually be there and see what was on offer than for him to work from a list and risk missing a lot of stuff because it was unavailable and having to go to another supermarket when the poor guy was knackered from working a 6 sometimes 7 day week.

Some really nasty people on here who clearly don’t understand different work patterns and lifestyles.

AhoyMrBeaver · 02/02/2020 16:43

I'm ambivalent about it. Yes, family groups can be a pain in the arse and get in my way sometimes, but I do think children have to experience everyday drudgery, social expectations, budgeting, getting best value etc to become ok adults.

We used to get left in the car while our parents did the big shop. It was a normal thing to do then.

TulipCat · 02/02/2020 16:43

Supermarkets are usually fairly large. Just wheel your trolley on by, get your shopping and let others do the same. Families in the supermarket aren't nearly as annoying as people who get to the checkout then faff about looking for their money like payment is some kind of surprise 😂