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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by shopping as a family outing?

520 replies

Sweetbabycheezits · 02/02/2020 16:21

I normally do the food shop on Saturday or Sunday morning. It's not rammed, but it's fairly busy, and one of the things that makes it so busy is entire families grocery shopping together. Yesterday, it was mum, dad and 3 kids maybe 5/6 and under...why?? The kids were bored and whingy, in the way, touching everything on the shelves. Surely one parent can stay home with kids, and one can do the shopping? I totally understand lone parents who work in the week having to take the kids along, but can't for the life of me understand why on earth the whole family needs to go? I'm probably just grumpy lol, so it could be that IABU...

OP posts:
JosefKeller · 03/02/2020 18:24

Since when has ANY man anywhere EVER been able to do a full weeks (or even a days) shopping alone? WHEN?

huh?!? Confused

some of the most talented head chefs are male for a start ,their penis has never prevented them from organising, planning and running a kitchen.

they definitely won't remember washing powder/foil/toilet cleaner/dishwasher tabs/paracetamol/jars of minced ginger and all of the other million and one things that women just know they need.
that's just you I am afraid.

What a weird view of the world, are you one of these women so proud of "her" kitchen and thinks she is being superior because she is a martyr?

Rachel1874 · 03/02/2020 18:26

Maybe they have been elsewhere as a family... or are going elsewhere as a family. YABU. Nothing to do with you anyway why a family go shopping together.

Tunnocks34 · 03/02/2020 18:27

Well because to be honest I enjoy it. My husband enjoys it. The kids are well behaved, and actually enjoy helping. We all have lunch at the cafe afterwards.

So probably my main answer is because I want to 🤷🏻‍♀️

SunshineCake · 03/02/2020 18:28

My husband can plan, shop, cook and clear up.

He helps the kids with their homework and drives them around. Bathed, read stories and out to bed when little.

He cleans, irons, hoovers, mows the lawns.

Stop all this shit about men can't do stuff. It's embarrassing and makes you look stupid not more capable.

woodhill · 03/02/2020 18:29

@FelicisNox

I agree to some extent in my own situation

DH used to forget things or not buy enough but he has improved over the years'😊

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 03/02/2020 18:33

It just makes shopping unpleasant for everyone else. You either have the feral kids chasing each other round and skidding up the aisles or the Performance Parenting crew engaging their poor kids on every last item.

Today in Lidl I heard, "now Ollie, what vegetables do we need for our roast? What's the pointy vegetable, the orange one?" Ollie didn't give two shits, btw.

AmItheonlyonewingingit · 03/02/2020 18:41

The judgements in this thread are shocking, as is the lack of tolerance.
Moaning about old people... Hopefully it will come to us all and a bit more respect for them rather than annoyance at their general existence would be nicer.

Moaning about children... They grow up to be adults, hopefully fully functioning ones who know how to shop for themselves and their family, who can manage money and tackle crowds.

The over arching view of keeping children away from shops because its stressful for the parents to manage, is telling of the times where parents want everything to be easy, so keeping children at home so they can shop in peace is great for them. But bigger picture, these are the children who won't know how to do stuff for themselves when older or who don't value their food, belongings or parents because it all just appears and gets done magically in their eyes.

All of that aside, who cares what other families do, maybe they enjoy spending time together, even at mundane chores, maybe they don't mind their children being children and being a little noisy in public, maybe they are being efficient and shopping en route to elsewhere. How about you just do you and stop moaning about things that aren't 'your way'

Blutterflies · 03/02/2020 18:45

So you’re either a shit mum for letting them run about or you’re a shit mum by trying to make it educational?
Stop judging what other people do. Get in with your shopping. If you think there might be kids there that boil your piss then you shop online!
How do you know that family haven’t been working/ in childcare all week and it’s their only chance to shop?
How do you know if the child/ren has SEN and both parents feel more confident shopping together?

GreenTulips · 03/02/2020 18:46

AmItheonlyonewingingit

maybe they enjoy spending time together, even at mundane chores

This is what OP was asking - why do families see shopping as quality family time.

You didn’t even answer after your righteous rant.

Oscarsdaddy · 03/02/2020 18:48

supermarkets should introduce child free times to allow shipping without being constantly interrupted by shouting, screaming, shouts of I want I want and horrible little sods munching on huge packs of crisps they haven’t paid for

Insanelysilver · 03/02/2020 18:48

I hate it when you see parents with exhausted little kids, often still in their school uniforms at 9 or 10pm and then the stupid parents yell at them for whinging or running around the shop.

lalafafa · 03/02/2020 18:50

extra shit points if their little darlings are scooting around the supermarket, drives me crazy.

Blutterflies · 03/02/2020 18:51

@Oscarsdaddy those times are between 9pm and 9am usually Grin

YaasssQueen · 03/02/2020 18:51

I can't believe people actually get so wound up about this! It's just a big shop, where people go to get food. It's not a battlefield where things have to be planned with military precision, with aisle plans and a war room to determine the most strategic and efficient manner of navigating round the store.

Or maybe it is, and I'm also in the way by not maintaining a brisk trot or not really knowing whether I'm on the right or wrong side of the aisle, saying hello ooh excuse me can I just thanks yes that one at the top please that's very kind thank you with a big smile.

I get that it's a mild annoyance for people who are terribly, terribly busy and don't cope with other people in general but hardly worth the upset it seems to have caused here!

MadMadaMim · 03/02/2020 18:57

You have zero idea why both parents are there.

People really do moan about everything. People minding their own business, shopping.
If it bothers you, go on the evening

busybarbara · 03/02/2020 19:08

The child haters on here should just order their shopping online. They’d save money by not browsing around as well

Watisiitallaboot · 03/02/2020 19:22

LIVE AND LET LIVE. YOLO. LIFE IS TOOO SHORT. YOU COULD GET A PETITION GOING AND SEE HOW MANY SIGNATURES YOU GET. 🤭

stardust40 · 03/02/2020 19:25

Not sure why anyone goes into one anymore! ASDA delivery all the way 😂

Wonkydonkey44 · 03/02/2020 19:25

We do a two week shop at a time , takes two trolleys therefore both of us need to go 😀

Wingingit247 · 03/02/2020 19:31

@FelicisNox I’m with you! Laughing my head off here! I only wish DH could manage to do the shopping and come home with even half what we need! “Eggs?? Wtf do we need eggs for??” “Shit I forgot the cat food, can’t the cat eat dog food”😂😂

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 03/02/2020 19:31

When I was a kid my mum did the majority of the cooking, and presumably meal planning. Although my dad did often cook on weekends (he was actually probably the better cook). But my mum didn’t drive so we all went to the shop together, on - I think - a Thursday night. It was just a normal thing for me growing up. And I’m pretty sure when I was married with little kids I did the same, because it was just that - normal. I even remember being allowed to choose certain items, so that certainly isn’t some kind of “newfangled idea”.
I do agree that parents should be making sure their children are behaving though. I’m not sure how they do that without ever actually taking them though.. Hmm

Offred2 · 03/02/2020 19:35

There seems to be an assumption in a lot of responses here that families will own a car. This really isn’t true, especially in cities. So needing two adults to carry the shopping home must surely be a major reason why a lot of people go shopping as a family.

Peanut3 · 03/02/2020 19:37

We have 4 kids (all under 8 yrs) and we both work. DH travels a lot and is usually away all week. The weekends are our only family time and the food shopping also has to be done. I do some online but it suits us to do most in store at the weekend, usually en route to somewhere else too. The kids have learned pretty quickly that if they behave themselves that we will do something nice and if they don’t, we won’t. My attitude it that they need to learn how to behave themselves for the fun stuff but also for the not so fun stuff too. It works for us..

Rosebel · 03/02/2020 19:38

Some of these replies are a bit silly. You don't need to take your children shopping to learn a life skill. My husbands parents never took him or his sister shopping but as adults they can both manage a weekly shop.
It's not exactly quality time as a couple or family either.
I don't think anyone has an issue with children if they are well behaved and not screaming but a lot of children are screaming and don't behave.
Can't avoid the supermarket if you work there.

Fivetillmidnight · 03/02/2020 19:38

Teaching the kids how to shop ? How to put up with being bored ? Yes, by all means when they are OLD ENOUGH to understand such 'life lessons AND old enough to be able to understand and obey 'stop running around, stop screaming and stop pulling stuff off shelves...

Another heads up here.. along without needing a penis in order to shop competently , I can assure you that a penis is not required to change gear, nor operate either an accelerator , brake or steering wheel.

If you have a DP with a car, are not disabled in both hands AND feet, have at least one fully functioning eye and do not suffer from an uncontrolled condition such as day and night epilepsy. There is no excuse NOT to drive too and share driving. It's not the 1950s but fgs all these women on here who keep saying 'DH drives but I dont' LEARN !!