Amber Heard and Depp audio

[MargeB]

Am I the only one sickened by the latest audio of Amber admitting to physically assaulting Depp? Calling him a baby, her excuse being she gets 'so mad sometimes', and how hitting him in the face wasnt a punch because she didn't 'deck' him. Im sorry, she's vile.

And shame on all the MN posters over the past few years calling for Depp to be cancelled and how disgusted everyone was that he still had a career.

Those of us who tried to urge caution were shouted down as defenders of a wife beater. I hope those expressing their disgust have a long hard look at them selves, or better listen to the audio.

Shes trash, and to think Depps kids have been bullied on social media for sticking up for him, whilst he was being abused by that horrible woman.

Even if she was violent too, whilst awful, F on M violence has nothing like the life threatening consequences and danger of M on F violence. She's a very slight woman and he's a well-built man.

I am a middle aged woman who would be easily overpowered by a well built man - all other things being equal. Even I can see how violence from women can be as dangerous as violence from emn.

Tell me this isn't life threatening stuff... metro.co.uk/2018/04/16/girlfriend-stabbed-boyfriend-starved-poured-boiling-water-7470946/

People are so strange sometimes. This need for a victim vs abuser narrative. Relationships can be abusive on both sides. Some are never abusive despite being on the receiving end of longterm abuse. Others respond to abuse with abuse. In other relationships they’re both abusive.

Why do people think these things are straightforward?

Of course people condemned Depp for being violent towards his spouse. That warrants condemnation regardless of circumstances.

If indeed Heard was also violent towards him (I haven’t heard the tape) that warrants condemnation too. It doesn’t negate what he did, and vice versa.

Why would anyone be ashamed for criticising a perpetrator of DV?

If Heard and her ex are talking about their relationship and the airport incident - you believe Depp?

Er no? What has Depp to do with Heard being arrested for domestic violence years before they even met? I believe the airport eyewitnesses and trust the police would not have arrested a celebrity unless they felt they had no choice given what Heard was seen doing in public. Police are more likely to let a celebrity walk free if there’s any doubt.

Why do people think these things are straightforward?

I certainly don't, often there is lots of shades of grey.

Of course people condemned Depp for being violent towards his spouse.

He's suing her because he's saying he never laid a finger on her. I didn't question whether he hit or not but I'm now questioning

I do not believe that Johnny Depp is whiter than white and completely innocent of all wrong doing.

However she is certainly not a victim, I do not believe she was in fear for her life from him judging by the way she speaks to him and admits physically attacking him. She excuses her behaviour saying "I can't promise I won't get physical again." She minimises his feelings on her attacking him by calling him a baby and saying "you're fine."

This was an incredibly toxic unhealthy relationship. I'm sure both parties are at fault but I think she has been extremely conniving.

A well respected stylist who was working with Amber the morning after the attack has also said she say no evidence of any facial marks

A well respected stylist would keep her mouth shut and not get involved with tabloid gossip. Whatever she was well respected for, it wasn’t her integrity.

Wasnt the stylist giving evidence, not selling the story?

Whatever she was well respected for, it wasn’t her integrity.

I disagree. Risking your job to tell the truth?

How is that not integrity?

A well respected stylist would keep her mouth shut and not get involved with tabloid gossip. Whatever she was well respected for, it wasn’t her integrity.

eh? since when is having to testify tabloid gossip?
Should she have perjured herself?

Wasnt the stylist giving evidence, not selling the story?

Yes but this will go way over peoples heads.

The same stylist who will be styling celebs at the Oscars.

I agree completely with FluffyAragog.

It also strikes me that people can be so open about having double standards.
Heards ex claims there was no DV and Amber was lovely, we must believe them because they're women. Depps exes claim the same about him and no it means he is still an abuser he just chose not to hurt them.

Or when the initial claims came out anyone who suggested there may be more to the relationship and it wasn't as clear cut as Heard made out was an abuse apologist. Now the shoe is on the other foot and there definitely must be other reasons such as self defense, provocation etc.

Shadow when it's Depp you believe the 'victim' but when it comes to Amber's previous partner you -
believe the police officer and witnesses
Why do you not believe the 'victim'? You talked about why you didn't believe Amber. I wasn't asking you to believe her. I was asking you to trust 'the victim' to tell her own story, as you seem to have done for Depp.

I'm not disputing there can be abuse from both sexes. But I am not pretending that the posters defending Depp are anything other than posters who want to laud Depp and criticise women. They are claiming Depp can't be an abuser because he didn't abuse Vanessa and saying Depp has the right to his own story but Amber's ex partner can't tell her story, it has to be filtered through witnesses instead. They're not interested in parity or evaluation. They're interested in disbelieving women no matter what.

As for what happened between Depp and Heard - we still don't know. An edited audio clip does not outweigh or negate the video of Depp's abusive behaviour. Pretending that it does is a real disservice to people suffering EA or/and DV whether those people are male or female. Jumping to conclusions on a glimpse or a clip, doesn't help people in abusive relationships. It shows a lack of understanding of how abusive relationships work.

Why do you not believe the 'victim'? You talked about why you didn't believe Amber. I wasn't asking you to believe her. I was asking you to trust 'the victim' to tell her own story, as you seem to have done for Depp

Because A, victims often try and cover abuse. It's very normal and happens more often than victims come forward. And there were several witnesses.

Amber has been proved to have faked DV claims. Her bruises were fake. She released a photo of herself with bruises and accused JD of causing them and it was a lie.

So yes, I am going to over a police officer and several witnesses over AH and her ex girlfriend. AH admits to physical abuse. Ah lied about receiving physical abuse. Why would you believe her when she says the arrest was homophobic?

Johnny Depp's ex wasnt ibvinved in an event where people witnessed his abuse towards her. Because there was non. VP isnt disputing claims made by witnesses. So yes nothing suggests she is lying.

As I have said, they both sound fucked up.

However, there were actual witnesses to AH abuse of her ex girlfriend. Why would they make that up at the time? Theres evidence to suggest it was indeed and abusive incident.

As for what happened between Depp and Heard - we still don't know. An edited audio clip does not outweigh or negate the video of Depp's abusive behaviour. Pretending that it does is a real disservice to people suffering EA or/and DV whether those people are male or female. Jumping to conclusions on a glimpse or a clip, doesn't help people in abusive relationships

Surely that point is valid for the clip of Johnny kicking & shouting?

My point is that in order to unequivocally believe Amber lots of people need to be lying or at least misguided, including other women.

Why does James F want his evidence sealed & if it leaks be allowed to sue?

I'm very struck by the bias of some comments here which display a refusal to view AH as anything but a victim.

I don't care about either AH or JD but trying to objectively view the information we have (which is all ANY of us have to go on) she has her own aggressive tendencies - in fact admitted violent tendencies.

You can argue the supposed 'bias' of the arresting police officer at Seattle airport (AH's arrest for domestic violence -she physically grabbed her partner during an argument) but an altercation that rises to the level of a police officer needing to intervene is not normal arguing. Likewise, on that recording she admits in her own words her violent acts. Haven't we all heard the advice (from the wonderful Maya Angelou) "when someone tells you who they are, believe them."

I'm not saying JD is innocent either, I don't know. What is clear is that this is not a black and white situation. What I do think is that they were clearly a toxic, messed up, highly dysfunctional pairing, rather like a Sid Vicious & Nancy type match up. I hope they both move on and behave better in future.

doolally yy it does apply to the Depp clip too. I think you confuse my position on this. Ultimately I don't know what happened in their relationship. The new clip makes no difference.

But I question the motivation of people whose position is - 'we need to listen to Depp's ex but not listen to Amber's'. And who are so quick to assume they know who was abusive in the entirety of the relationship from the recent clip.

Ultimately neither Depp nor Heard care what people on MN think of them. What concerns me - and it does every time there's a high-profile EA or DV case - is that people in RL living in abusive relationships will feel less supported and less able to come forward if their behaviour wasn't exemplary all the time or if they didn't appear to outsiders the way they 'expected' victims and perpetrators to behave. That's incredibly damaging.

I am not a fan of Johnny Depp so I certainly don’t want to “laud Depp” but I have listened to the whole recording linked to above (it’s very long) and feel sorry for him. His career and reputation have been severely damaged by this woman and nothing will completely undo that.

They obviously had an unhealthy relationship which did neither of them any favours but she went out of her way to paint him as the aggressor and her as the victim which after listening to that tape just doesn’t sit right.

Men are much stronger than women. That's just physiology. And theres nothing to suggest these particular
people are outside the norms for their se ex.
A woman hitting a man is abhorrent, wrong for obvious reasons.
Physically, she might land a bruise, or worse. But theres very few men who couldn't overpower a woman at that point, in self defence.

In actual real life, not theory, how much damage could a woman do?

Yeah, this is pretty fucked up - and shows a completed ignorance to the complex factors relating to DV. It's not about who can overpower the other and get out of the situation - otherwise you could say any DV victim who can leave the house, get away and never return (thus technically being able to prevent future violence) is at fault for not doing so.

Why don't they? Fear of future attacks, love, internalised feelings that they are somehow to blame etc.

It's not unfeminist to say males can be victims of DV too. I'm a DV survivor and I think it's more offensive to say it doesn't matter as he could have got away. Most of us technically could have got away at some point. It's not that easy.

That's not even taking into account she allegedly stubbed cigarettes out on his face, and cut off half of his finger. None of us know the truth - but those audio tapes are pretty shocking, and if he didn't play any part in the abuse, I can't help but feeling massive amounts of sympathy for somebody who has suffered such extreme levels of abuse AND have the whole world labelling him the abuser and his abuser the victim.

How the hell is saying someone is ‘openly gay’ homophobic now?!

Its the use of the word "openly" @OwlBeThere.
Think about it.

Is it fact that she faked bruises or are people guessing?

Also, maybe upgrade your reading matter.

So the Officer was lying on her own twitter account?

Who the fuck knows, @doolallylala, & what is an Officer doing commenting on a DV incident, outside of official channels, on the cesspit that is twitter?

I'm not questioning who is telling the truth here - I'm questioning why any random member of the public feels they can assess whether DV occured, which party is responsible, & who is lying, by reading speculative & sensationalised reports by a media whose agenda is selling copy, not establishing facts.

I’m confused, OP, please explain how this proves he’s not abussive.

Who the fuck knows, @doolallylala, & what is an Officer doing commenting on a DV incident, outside of official channels, on the cesspit that is twitter?

She was responding to claims she was homophobia & misogynist!