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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said his best friend’s wife was more attractive than me.

229 replies

WTAFFF · 01/02/2020 20:05

My DP said today that his best friend’s wife was better looking and more attractive than me. I didn’t ask him this question.

He can’t understand why I might find this a bit hurtful. AIBU?

OP posts:
NextdoorNeighbourIsATwat · 01/02/2020 20:07

I'm not actually sure that I could get over that.

Why on earth did he say that?

cheeseislife8 · 01/02/2020 20:08

Just out of the blue? That's just cruel

HappyHammy · 01/02/2020 20:08

Why did he say this. what was the conversation. I expect there are lots of men who are far more attractive and better looking than he is.

GeePipe · 01/02/2020 20:09

Wow wtf why did he say that? Did you ask him why the fuck he felt the need to say that? My dp thinks loads of women are more attractive than me but he has a bit of common sense not to directly compare me to someone else. Was he sober? Was he trying to upset you deliberatly? Thats not ok im sorry he did that to you. Flowers

BedStuy · 01/02/2020 20:09

There's been several threads recently about things being said by a partner or friend in the context of comparing another friend/friend's partner against the OP. I wonder if there's something going round to make comments comparing women's appearances? Confused

Franticbutterfly · 01/02/2020 20:09

What a prick. Even if it’s true you don’t say it!!!

Ninkanink · 01/02/2020 20:10

Did you tell that him his best friends dick is nicer than his?

TheReef · 01/02/2020 20:10

I'm fairly open minded and relaxed in my relationship but I think I'd struggle to get past this.

Why on earth did he tell you this if you hadn't asked the question ?

LouReidDododo · 01/02/2020 20:11

What a dick head. I hope you came back with who you thought was more attractive than him.

Original poster
WTAFFF · 01/02/2020 20:11

He was talking to a mutual friend in front of me and they were talking about how attractive his friend’s wife is.

He said ‘oh yes she’s a solid 9/10.’ He has previously ‘ranked’ me much lower. When I said to him ‘so you think Jane is more attractive than me’? He replied do I disagree and that she is much more attractive than me.

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 01/02/2020 20:12

*I put an apostrophe in there!!

Seriously though, that’s just not on.

Start commenting to him about other men and how they are superior to him and how much better sex was with your ex and, and why doesn’t he earn more.

Wonkywyebrows · 01/02/2020 20:13

That’s very hurtful and seems unnecessarily cruel.

GeePipe · 01/02/2020 20:14

How long have you been with this prick? Thats out of order and as i said thats coming from someone whos dp has called other women stunning beautiful and perfect to them and has never given me a compliment. You are better off without a man child who rates yyou out of ten. Who the fuck does he think he is?

itsamood · 01/02/2020 20:14

Yikes. That’s a shitter.

yeraballoon · 01/02/2020 20:15

He sounds like a pig. What is he doing ranking women in this way?

adaline · 01/02/2020 20:15

What a dick.

NoooorthonerMum · 01/02/2020 20:16

What was the conversation. I just can't imagine how that would come up? Sorry OP of course you're hurt. A very unnecessary comment from him.

HappyHammy · 01/02/2020 20:16

Dont rise to this childish nonsense. He and this mutual friend sound about 12.

MakeItRain · 01/02/2020 20:17

That's really shocking. It's a really unkind thing to say to you, and even worse that he was saying it to his friend about you while you were there. I don't think I could get over that to be honest and I think for me the relationship would be over. I just wouldn't be interested in being with someone so unkind and thoughtlessly hurtful.

Original poster
WTAFFF · 01/02/2020 20:17

Btw Jane isn’t the real name of his friend’s wife.

OP posts:
WeSavedSallySally · 01/02/2020 20:18

Just had to scroll back to check you were not married to this man.

Leave him with now.

Disgraceful, dis respectful.. Nasty, callous

mnthrowaway202020 · 01/02/2020 20:18

When I said to him ‘so you think Jane is more attractive than me’?

Why do people ask questions like this then get annoyed when their partner tells the truth or something they didn’t want to hear? You’re just setting yourself up for failure. It’s a stupid thing to ask.

Realistically in this world there will always be someone more attractive/wealthy/intelligent etc than you. He shouldn’t put you down about it, and you also shouldn’t dwell on it.

thentheycameforme · 01/02/2020 20:19

I think in this context it's not great but it's thoughtless rather than malicious

mnthrowaway202020 · 01/02/2020 20:20

My DP said today that his best friend’s wife was better looking and more attractive than me. I didn’t ask him this question.

When I said to him ‘so you think Jane is more attractive than me’?

Contradictory much?

Original poster
WTAFFF · 01/02/2020 20:20

Yes, I do understand that there are millions of people who are more attractive than me. Also there are millions of people who are more attractive than my DP.

I’m just not insensitive enough to say something like this in front of him. Especially about someone who we know and are close to.

OP posts: