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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said his best friend’s wife was more attractive than me.

229 replies

WTAFFF · 01/02/2020 20:05

My DP said today that his best friend’s wife was better looking and more attractive than me. I didn’t ask him this question.

He can’t understand why I might find this a bit hurtful. AIBU?

OP posts:
Blitzen2 · 01/02/2020 23:15

My DH has said a few times the only way he would leave me is if it was for someone better looking, but apparently that’s not possible.

It’s a complete load of shit because I am no model but you get the gist. Dump this guys ass quickly, he is not going to be worth your time or energy

SnoozyLou · 01/02/2020 23:17

I had a partner like this. It's passive aggressive bullshit, and no it isn't an accident, or it wasn't in his case. He was always putting me down, and it does take its toll on you eventually. When we broke up it came out that all of my friends and family hated him, they just didn't want to upset me telling me so (although a few did try, thinking back).

This is not a conversation a balanced person who loves you would enter into in a million years. I know it sounds OTT, but I would ditch him. I'd never put up with any of that crap again. You deserve better.

VenusTiger · 01/02/2020 23:18

I'd tell him, he can carry on ranking and wanking OP because he's dumped! If he wants to carry on acting like a 14 yr old and passing judgement on his mates gfs then he can go ahead and dream on his own. What an immature dick!

I don't suppose he's ever discussed her personality? No, probably not Confused

morrisseysquif · 01/02/2020 23:26

Next time you are out (if there is one) start eyeing up men, then nuge your DP and start ranking them. Make sure he knows he scores lower.

Then dump him.

Hadtoask · 01/02/2020 23:27

Oh that’s definitely cause to leave him. He’s not a keeper. Tell him you’re casting the net wider as of today. He does not sound attractive at all.

Potatobug · 01/02/2020 23:31

Oops, I voted YABU by accident! Can it be undone?

Your partner is a dick!

SpillTheTea · 01/02/2020 23:33

Does he think he's still 14?
What a twat.

DaisyBee123 · 01/02/2020 23:35

Say you think his friend is more attractive than him ;)

headlock · 01/02/2020 23:45

That's so hurtful. He sounds like an immature, ignorant, nasty arsehole.
Trust your gut instinct and get rid of him. There are plenty decent guys out there that would make you feel good about yourself. 💐

AmelieTaylor · 01/02/2020 23:56

Good start sending him home.

Don’t stop there though...tell him to STAY THERE, as a PP saud....he can rank & wank.

He’s insensitive & thick. Move on while it’s still simple to do so.

Rosspoldarkssaddle · 02/02/2020 00:02

I'd have said good luck with that and shown him a permanent door.

sandybanana · 02/02/2020 00:04

Oh this isn't good. Please do get rid ASAP.

He's awful.

Branster · 02/02/2020 00:05

Is this for real?
Who wastes time on a partner who ranks women and compares attractiveness like this?!
Not even my children’s teenage male friends do any of this!

Fr0g · 02/02/2020 00:06

DP? - what's the "D" for?

messolini9 · 02/02/2020 00:09

I do not believe that physical attractiveness is entirely in the eye of the beholder.

Um ... where is it then, @Lucked?

mathanxiety · 02/02/2020 00:13

Put a tape measure next to your bed. Tell him you have a little something to check on if he asks why it's there.

billy1966 · 02/02/2020 00:13

OP, please, do not spend one more moment trying to understand the nasty little prick you have been dating.

Please focus on why you have allowed this little prick to speak to you like this and think he could get away with it.

Believe me, it is absolutely deliberate.
He's checking out just how shitty and nasty he can be..... exactly how much you will accept.

Nasty little man.

It's not the first time he's made you feel bad.

Is this REALLY what you want.
What you deserve.
What you expect from life...
So little from the person you are with.

Women who accept shit, get nothing but shit.

Think very very hard about the life you want.

Wishing you well.💐

mathanxiety · 02/02/2020 00:14

But seriously, start planning to separate and rid yourself of this waste of space.

Life is far too short to spend it with an emotionally illiterate moron.

CalleighDoodle · 02/02/2020 00:16

Yeah just dump him. He sounds vile.

anothernamejeeves · 02/02/2020 00:16

Jesus are him and his mates the in betweeners

Yeahnah2020 · 02/02/2020 01:09

LTB

CSIblonde · 02/02/2020 01:17

Rating women's looks is what teenage boys did at my secondary school, out loud, to humiliate & bully. Vile. I'd start mentioning things like ' the Amazon delivery guy is so good looking, just gorgeous' etc). I had a work colleague who thought he was God's gift to womankind til he heard his wife describing a male stripper to her friend. That shut him right up. (he was actually rather short & not all that).

MsDogLady · 02/02/2020 01:39

Surely you will dump this disgusting loser who objectifies women. He certainly doesn’t love or respect you, and in fact he enjoys humiliating you.

bd67thSaysReinstateLangCleg · 02/02/2020 01:41

LTB. The kind of man who thinks it's ok to "rate" women as if we were dressage horses isn't worth your time.

This shit is abusive. Seriously. It wears down your self-worth.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 02/02/2020 01:48

Why are they disgusting how good looking their friends wife is anyway. Are they 14?