He said his best friend’s wife was more attractive than me.

[WTAFFF]

My DP said today that his best friend’s wife was better looking and more attractive than me. I didn’t ask him this question.

He can’t understand why I might find this a bit hurtful. AIBU?

How vile.
How vile to be ranking women in the first place, let alone in front of you, let ALONE including you.

And he’s ranked you before?

Has he noticed you’re a human being? Or does he just think you’re a high functioning sex doll?
I’m glad he’s “d”p not dh, you can get out now and raise your bar by about 1000%.

I think your initial post is a bit misleading. He described another woman as 9/10 and you remembered a previous occasion he'd rated you as lower.

Clear it would have been kind for him to reassure you, but you didn't have to go there.

I'm fairly sure dp would describe other women as more attractive than me, he still likes me best.

I am sorry if I was a bit contradictory. I’m just really upset.

My ex once told me that my BFF was “in a different league” to me.

LTB

Wow congratulations on getting the first 101% YANBU vote!

“He has previously ‘ranked’ me much lower.” How did that earlier conversation come about? Is he in the habit of ranking you and other women as if we were all dogs at Crufts?

How dare he? Rude of him to say in any circumstance but particularly in front of you. You deserve better than that.

He’s an arse; not just for what he said to you but to be ranking a good friend’s wife out of 10 and discussing this ranking with another friend.

I’m sorry @GeePipe, but yours sounds only marginally better.

Raise your standards and get rid of this horrible man.

You deserve better!

He sounds crass and insensitive, misogynistic and immature. On the face of it i can’t see he is a nice person. How long have you been together? Does he have any good qualities?

Yeah, she might be a cracker but he shouldn't compare her to you in front of you. You sort of led him into a tiny bit tho, but obv he ought to have answered your (slightly daft question) "is she more more attractive than me" question with some thing like:

• well she's not really my type anyway. You are.

Or

• I like the way you look.

Or even just "I'm not comparing. You're gorgeous love" Etc

The original post is definitely misleading

But you should definitely tell him how this made you feel. His response to your feelings being hurt will be telling at whether he’s truly vile or not.

How insecure is your dp.. He said this to a 'friend' with you there.. I wonder how many 'guy points' this gives him. Honestly this level of disrespect and belittling shouldn't be tolerated in a relationship.. And I say that in the sense that it shouldn't even crop up as is just a nasty vile thing to say. Does he have a habit of showing off like this to his mates? Take comfort in the fact he obviously feels you are better looking than him so is trying to lower your self esteem so you don't realise you can do better.

Any man over the age of 16 who openly 'ranks' women based on their physical attractiveness is a fuckwit of the highest order. Even if he had said "she's a 9/10 but don't worry, love you're a 10" he'd still be a misogynist fuckwit. The fact that he ranked you lower just makes him more of a fuckwit.

Nah that's shit op. Tell him to feck right off

Is he George Clooney or whoever is currently the most desirable man on the planet? Tell him to get back in his box, and live with the life and wife he has.

Anyone who ranks a person's looks is a fucking arsehole. The fact he told you your ranking is shocking, also not impressed with him discussing another woman's perceived ranking. Twat.

Sounds like negging to me.

Rating people out of 10 as a grown adult, ffs

Good lord, what an absolute arse

I've seen men behave like this with their wives/partners. They are always, always, always men who are punching above and insecure and physically repulsive as sin. They say these things to keep their lovely, accomplished wives under their ugly thumbs, chipping, chipping, chipping away at their self-confidence. It never fails to amaze me when they women go home with them at the end of the night.

I have had dates/BFs try to do that to me. I immediately see their insecurity for what it is and they never see me socially ever again.

It took me longer to see it in my female friends. But now I know. Anyone who finds ways to put you down is not good for you. They are trying to build themselves up by destroying you.

Get out of this relationship, OP.

Well, he's a fucking dumbshit for saying it within your hearing. I'd dump him for just being that stupid.

DH and I have been married over 30 years so we're well past the "Is he/she better looking than me?" thing. But honestly, I've always been pretty realistic about my looks. So, if my DH had a BFF whose wife looked like Sofia Vergara I wouldn't be surprised if DH thinks she better looking than me and it wouldn't hurt my feelings one single bit. It would simply be the truth.

My DH doesn't have to think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world to 'prove' that he loves me.

Seriously would have more of an issue that he thinks it's ok to 'score' women. Made me think of this:

Start ranking him!
Or better yet....tell the fucker to find someone else.

Dear God don’t waste your time with this man. He sounds like an absolute child. Is he 14? If he’s like this now just what do you think he’ll be like in a few years? Tell him to move along.