Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left friends wedding after ceremony and not gone to reception - FUMING!!

174 replies

Hannie55 · 01/09/2007 19:05

The ceremony was fabulous. Everyone was happy. I went to congratulate friend and new husband afterwards and she looked me up and down, wrinkled her nose and said "nice dress" in a really sarky tone.
I felt so embarassed as other people noticed. She can be blunt sometimes but has never made me feel like this. I am so angry.
I didnt want to make a scene or even let her know I was angry, I just pretended not to have noticed her tone, made my excuses and walked to speak to some other people.
I maid a snap decision (after two other people mentioned that they had saw the incident)that I would not be going to the reception.
I didn't see my friend but have asked mutual friends not to mention anything but if she notices my absence to say that I had to leave as DD was unwell. Not big or brave I know.
Did I do the wrong thing?

OP posts:
NAB3 · 01/09/2007 19:06

For you or her?

LaDiDaDi · 01/09/2007 19:08

I think that you did the wrong thing in not being honest about why you aren't goling to the reception.

What an odd comment for a bride to make on her wedding day!

dissle · 01/09/2007 19:10

i would have left too.
humiliated, and made to feel that shit by some one, no thank you, no excuse, wedding day or not what a total cow.

3andnomore · 01/09/2007 19:10

For her, you have been kind and forgiving.
For you, I hope you don't take it to heart and just re evalue your friendship, tbh, I would be humilliated if a freind of mine had made a comment like that to me, as obviously you felt dressed right in your opinion.
In the end, she should not have made comment on the way you dressed, fgs, this is meant to be her day, why should it matter what anyone esle is dressed like unless completely inappropriately, i suppose or trying to outdo the bride...

Original poster
Hannie55 · 01/09/2007 19:11

But I couldnt say the real reason. Im upset and angry but I dont want her to know any of that on her wedding day.

OP posts:
NAB3 · 01/09/2007 19:11

Tell her later then.

3andnomore · 01/09/2007 19:12

agree...take it up with her another day...her wedding day isn't the right time....no matter how out of place her comment was...

MrsWeasley · 01/09/2007 19:14

I think it depends on your friendship and if you want it to continue?

I wouldnt be bothered about losing such an unkind friend.

You should tell her why you left,not today, its her wedding day but when you next talk to her, tell her she was rude and that others had heard the rude comments that she had made.

Ulysees · 01/09/2007 19:14

YANBU think you were much calmer than I would've been. I'd have said "what's that look for?" But then again I'm too hot headed.
Could there have been a green eyed monster lurking?

superalienstitch · 01/09/2007 19:16

i think you did the right thing leaving.
but she needs tobe told why you left.
bridezilla[anger]

artichokes · 01/09/2007 19:17

I think you were right not to challenge her on her wedding day. There is a small chance that her look was misinterpreted and if you had challenged her you might have ruined her day for no reason.

I hate conflict so if I were you I would probably never challenge her on it esp as it was on her wedding day. I would probably just distance myself from her. If she ever asked why then I would tell her.

Original poster
Hannie55 · 01/09/2007 19:17

I feel stupid too if im honest. I now think the dress probably was inappropriate but our friends all have a similar style and we talked about outfits beforehand. i didnt think it would go down s badly.

OP posts:
grouchyoscar · 01/09/2007 19:18

Oh Hannie. How awful for you.

I don't feel you have been unreasonable TBH You were in a no win situation. I mean do you tell the bride she has upset you or feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day?

Hope it blows over.

NAB3 · 01/09/2007 19:18

Show us the dress.

Isababel · 01/09/2007 19:18

I would have left to, and if I were not a cowardly nice person, I would have steped on her veil on my way out.

tiredemma · 01/09/2007 19:19

what was the dress like?

Original poster
Hannie55 · 01/09/2007 19:20

Its nice to know others agree with me.
I wont show the dress though as i feel ashamed and just want to burn it.

OP posts:
smeeinit · 01/09/2007 19:20

what was so wrong or inapropriate with the dress?

dissle · 01/09/2007 19:20

nononono..dont you dare feel stupid and say you were dressed innapropriately.
How fucking dare she comment like that, how dare she.

uncalled for and unfair.
ditch her.

tiredemma · 01/09/2007 19:20

dont be daft- describe it then.

silly thing for her to say IMO

Isababel · 01/09/2007 19:21

Were you wearing white, a veil and a tiara?
If so, you are unreasonable. Although TBH, my SIL always wears white to weddings (mine included) and I didn't even noticed it until someone asked why she was wearing that dress.

tortoiseSHELL · 01/09/2007 19:23

You've got to describe the dress!!!!

Cammelia · 01/09/2007 19:23

Was it very short and completely see-through

Sobernow · 01/09/2007 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dissle · 01/09/2007 19:23

oM G you were wearing a black leather thong and tit tassles werent you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread