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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have left friends wedding after ceremony and not gone to reception - FUMING!!

174 replies

Hannie55 · 01/09/2007 19:05

The ceremony was fabulous. Everyone was happy. I went to congratulate friend and new husband afterwards and she looked me up and down, wrinkled her nose and said "nice dress" in a really sarky tone.
I felt so embarassed as other people noticed. She can be blunt sometimes but has never made me feel like this. I am so angry.
I didnt want to make a scene or even let her know I was angry, I just pretended not to have noticed her tone, made my excuses and walked to speak to some other people.
I maid a snap decision (after two other people mentioned that they had saw the incident)that I would not be going to the reception.
I didn't see my friend but have asked mutual friends not to mention anything but if she notices my absence to say that I had to leave as DD was unwell. Not big or brave I know.
Did I do the wrong thing?

OP posts:

PippiLangstrump · 04/09/2007 16:16

I love it. especially in the longer version you describe - i've been looking for something similar all summer.

I am sure you looked great! especially if this is your style.

Kewcumber · 04/09/2007 16:16

I really can't imagine why anyone would object to that dress for a wedding (or any other occasion come to that)

oranges · 04/09/2007 16:17

That dress is lovely, which makes me wonder even more if she hadn't intended her comments to be sarcastic. How could anyone take offence at a guest wearing that to a wedding?

Kewcumber · 04/09/2007 16:17

and even if it had been the pink one I would have smiled nicely at you and bitched in private to my new DH

Niecie · 04/09/2007 16:20

I like it, fwiw, and dressed up with the right accessories it would be perfectly OK for a wedding. Not underdone at all.

Did you have a jacket or cardi or were you placing your faith in a bit of sunshine?

Original poster

Hannie55 · 04/09/2007 16:25

Phew!
I really felt it was okay but the comment really threw me and I just felt ridiculous afterwards, like a dogs dinner.
(I did have a small bolero style cardigan but didn't have much call to wear it on the day).

OP posts:

Peachy · 04/09/2007 16:45

Seems a lovely outfit for a late summer wedding, your 'friend' just being a cow

Niecie · 04/09/2007 16:49

Bolero cardi would be a nice touch.

Definitely think the bride was unnecessarily hurtful.

I thought the job of the bride was to smile serenely and soak up compliments, not rate the guests on their outfits.

FrannyandZooey · 04/09/2007 17:18

Oh, it's pretty

I bet you looked lovely

there is no reason whatsoever to make a comment like that to someone, she's an absolute disgrace

Majorca · 04/09/2007 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kindersurprise · 04/09/2007 19:57

Lovely dress, if yours was longer then it was definately suitable for a wedding. I can't see what she could find wrong with a dress like that.

mears · 04/09/2007 22:33

Lovely dress

nurseyemma · 04/09/2007 22:37

Really lovely, dress I've been looking for something similar myelf, nothing wrong with boho it's cool!!

What an awful thing to sy when someones made an effort to look pretty!

nurseyemma · 04/09/2007 22:39

I meanit's an awful way to be anytime but especially at your wedding when you want everyone to feel relaxed and have a good time!!

aloha · 04/09/2007 22:43

Look, I wasn't there, but is it possible that you are making a big mistake here, and that she was either making a joke or really meant it but it came out wrong? It's a perfect nice, normal dress, so it would make more sense if that was the case. Seems such a shame to feel so angry and sad when it might just be a misunderstanding. I have often made assumptions that have proved to be totally wrong.

dinny · 04/09/2007 22:46

yeah, agree, Aloha, how do you know she was being sarcastic?

stleger · 04/09/2007 22:48

Very weddingy.

WendyWeber · 04/09/2007 22:52

If she meant it though, why the wrinkled nose and sarky tone? Why not a smile and a pleasant tone?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/09/2007 22:58

Agree with Aloha, could it not just be a misunderstanding (and undoubtedly she'll have been stressed and/or under pressure too).

I often say and do idiotic things when nervous.

dinny · 04/09/2007 22:58

maybe she's just one of those people who look liek a bulldog chewing a wasp, WW? even in a wedding dress?

aloha · 04/09/2007 23:02

Maybe she was tryign to make a joke, as in adopting a sort of 'ooh look at you miss glam' sort of voice, sort of sending herself up. I honestly think, having seen the dress, that a misunderstanding is surely more likely than a deliberate, completely mad and pointless, insult.
I was just thinking of the woman who posted recently a long post at about 4.05pm to say that her SIL was due to come over with kids, but the poster had been late or cancelled a visit to the SIL at some point, so it was obvious that the SIL wasn't going to come to punish her for this and it was completely typical and she should have guessed this was going to happen and they would fall out and it would be awkward for the family etc etc, then at about 4.08 posted 'oops, she's just arrived'!

Aitch · 04/09/2007 23:03

PMSL at the pink dress! the real one is nice, yes it's a little informal but it's a summer wedding and i'm sure you had lovely accesssories. i'm afraid that your friend is a twat.

hellish · 04/09/2007 23:09

love the dress, my dd1 just walked past and said "ooh nice dress, who's it for?"

WinkyWinkola · 05/09/2007 08:06

No, your friend is a twat. Get rid.

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