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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left friends wedding after ceremony and not gone to reception - FUMING!!

174 replies

Hannie55 · 01/09/2007 19:05

The ceremony was fabulous. Everyone was happy. I went to congratulate friend and new husband afterwards and she looked me up and down, wrinkled her nose and said "nice dress" in a really sarky tone.
I felt so embarassed as other people noticed. She can be blunt sometimes but has never made me feel like this. I am so angry.
I didnt want to make a scene or even let her know I was angry, I just pretended not to have noticed her tone, made my excuses and walked to speak to some other people.
I maid a snap decision (after two other people mentioned that they had saw the incident)that I would not be going to the reception.
I didn't see my friend but have asked mutual friends not to mention anything but if she notices my absence to say that I had to leave as DD was unwell. Not big or brave I know.
Did I do the wrong thing?

OP posts:
PippiLangstrump · 04/09/2007 09:32

all these weddings sounds like so much fun! well done to all of you/us for just enjoying the big day and not ruining it with stupid isshooss!

beansprout · 04/09/2007 09:39

Isn't the point of a wedding to get married to someone you love dearly? I was as high as a kite on my wedding day, Myra Hindley could have turned up and I would have offered her a drink and made her feel welcome!!

Somehow, H's friend has missed the point!

FloriaTosca · 04/09/2007 10:13

I dont think you over reacted at all...if you were her equal in the b*chiness stakes you would have given her the same look and said "you too" and burst her bubble for her.I think you were very restrained to simply walk away...and from the sounds of things perhaps she is feeling a twinge of guilt...she deserves it (that and the waste of the meal at the reception!)

Loved the wind up pink dress but have to say, in all honesty, that when my cousins step-daughter got married last year the brides sister really did turn up in that exact outfit (but in green)...what is more being a red head and just 6 months post-partum the expanse of 2 stones of excess, deathly white, loose flesh and obvious lack of underwear was cringingly rivetting ... though this of course could have been a silent protest at the fact that their 2 younger half sisters were bridesmaids and she wasn't....but she certainly, for all the wrong reasons, stole the show.

mears · 04/09/2007 10:20

Hanni - my gut rteaction is that the bride was perhaps a bit upset by your choice of dress and showed her feelings. She is possibly as hurt as you are wondering how you could come dressed as you did.

The fact you alluded to it being inappropriate makes me wonder what it really was like? What is wrong with long and floaty?

Are you only revealing half a story here?

hmmm......

themoon66 · 04/09/2007 10:27

I think we need to see a picture of what Hannie was actually wear, or at least a picture of something very similar.

Come back on the thread Hannie and describe exactly please.

nurseyemma · 04/09/2007 10:41

The pink dress wind-up is a pisser!! I was so happy on my wedding day and felt so gorgeous I woundn't have givena shit if my guests had turned up in bikinis.

think my mum would hasve said something tho!

We're a chilled out bunch, I've worn a funky white number to my mates wedding recently, both bride and groomthought I looked wicked but rightfully not a patch on the lovely bride.

What a strange insecure friend. I cannot imagine having un lovely thoughts on my wedding day let alone venting them.

Maybe there's other stuff going on for her you need to talk about with her.

Not unreasonable to leave at all!!

PippiLangstrump · 04/09/2007 10:57

nurseyemma you are right! I felt so beautiful on my wedding day that I could not care less. I wish I could wear it again1 in fact it would have all been to the bride's favour if all her guest where not as perfect as her.

LoveAngel · 04/09/2007 11:26

What a bitchy thing to say. I would tell her exactly why you left the wedding if I were you. There's no point taking a stand and then backing out. Tell her you appreciate it was her big day but that doesn't give her the right to be rude to people, especially not her friends! God, this whole 'its my day and everybody has to please me with very little thing they do/say/wear' thing makes me wanna puke. Bridezillas are boring as fuck.

arfishy · 04/09/2007 11:40

Hannie - great thread!

Original poster
Hannie55 · 04/09/2007 11:43

I really cant post a link of dress as I got it in France on holiday and not in a major chain. Also dont have a digital camera - it got 'bathed' by DD .

Will scoure for a similar dress or at least similar style so you get the idea.

OP posts:
oranges · 04/09/2007 11:49

May i suggested that maybe she was a little tense from the day and her tone and expression was not meant to be critical, but came out that way. As she asked after you, she obviously cares, and may have not realised what she said.

I offended a dear friend at my reception by walking off as she talked to me a few times. But it was because I had so many people I had to say hello to, and I just assumed she'd be okay with it. I never stopped to explain that to her, which I regret.

arfishy · 04/09/2007 11:50

Oh (had forgotten that the bride was a bitch about your real dress).

Sounds like she was being a complete Bridezilla.

Good for you for not reacting and letting her have her day. You are clearly the better person.

Fireflyfairy2 · 04/09/2007 11:53

I couldn't tell you what anyone wore to my wedding! I definitely wouldn't have commented on what a guest wore, that's for sure!

Maybe she was being genuine about your dress being nice?

kindersurprise · 04/09/2007 12:31

I know this has been posted on here before, but it seems to fit this thread. Some good ideas for suitable wedding attire here

* Warning! Not for the faint hearted! *

Scotia · 04/09/2007 12:35

With any luck, your friend will realise what a bitchy thing she said to you and be mortified.

I would have gone home too.

Carmenere · 04/09/2007 12:36

Oh that is wonderful thanks, it has cheered me up. they all look incredible in their own special way

Fireflyfairy2 · 04/09/2007 12:41

OMIGOD!!!! LMAO!!!!

lou33 · 04/09/2007 12:47

wow

just, wow!

FrannyandZooey · 04/09/2007 12:47

Very funny thread Hannie

sorry your friend was such a bitch though I think you did the right thing, very dignified

LaDiDaDi · 04/09/2007 12:52

OMG!!!

That poor woman could barely walk in that enormous dress.

Niecie · 04/09/2007 12:53

I don't think you are being unreasonable either. The bride doesn't sound like a very nice person at all.

If I were you and a braver person than I am and less worried about what other people might say, I would have made sure that I was at the front of as many of the photographs as possible just to be really annoying.

Original poster
Hannie55 · 04/09/2007 16:11

Okay, this is actually really similar to mine.
Except; mine is longer, it reaches my feet I guess its a maxi dress. Its orangey/peachy/yellowy in colour, it has a wide woven pale leather belt and straighter bust line.
I know it could be an everyday sort of dress (possibly) but with the hair/accessories/shoes etc I honestly believe it looked nice and maybe a bit boho but certainly not underdone.
Pl;ease ladies, be gentle with me! and I dont mind if its not your cup of tea, thats life but is it unsuitable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hannie55 · 04/09/2007 16:11

Oops forgot the link!!

OP posts:
Carmenere · 04/09/2007 16:13

I think that is v nice especially if yours was longer and you were dolled up.

Tinker · 04/09/2007 16:14

I think that's pretty. So wish it had been teh pink one though