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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my sister is utterly ridiculous

224 replies

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 16:05

Older sister has two children, I have one. For Christmas / birthdays my mum has always offered to buy one larger gift for each grandchild and then always gets them each some other smaller bits and bobs (rather than just getting loads and loads of smaller toys).

My sister over the past couple of years has said she wants to cut down on the amount of toys her children have and has asked for experience type things for them instead - totally fine, nobody in the family has a problem with that, each to their own etc etc. I don’t feel like we have an overwhelming amount of toys so I’m happy for my mum to buy my DD them.

My sister this year said she didn’t want any toys buying for her children and asked my parents to give cash instead for her to spend on them at a later date. She also asked my mum to buy theatre tickets for her, husband and children (cost c. £200 for the 4 tickets) as a Christmas present. Our mum got them the tickets, transferred another £200 to my sister’s account and also got the kids a couple of things so they had something to open (Christmas pj’s, a selection box and a book and a little craft kit type thing each).

My DD got a first bike as her larger gift and then other toys, books etc.

Today my sister has gone off on one and accused my mum of favouring my DD over her children and said my mum was horrible for still buying DD gifts and that she should have just been given cash as well. Apparently if her children haven’t got gifts to physically open then DD shouldn’t be bought them either.

They spent Christmas this year with BIL’s family so it’s not even like we were all together for opening presents for her children to question why my DD got toys they didn’t get.
And my mum is always really fair about making sure things are equal between all her grandchildren so it’s not like one gets more than the other throughout the year or in terms of amounts spent.

My mum is really upset about this because she’s done exactly what my sister asked for and now been told she’s a horrible mother / grandmother for doing that.

My sister is being a dick, right? Surely you can’t say you want cash instead of gifts to open and then have a tantrum because other people had presents instead??

And quite frankly, I don’t want cash from my mum as a present for her granddaughter! My sister does and that’s fine but I know my mum likes picking out presents for DD and I don’t see how it’s reasonable to expect everyone to stop giving gifts to open just because she doesn’t want that.

AIBU??

OP posts:
cantthinkofauniquename · 31/01/2020 23:00

I love a unanimous poll 😂

Me too. Although I almost want to click the YABU button just to be that person! lol.

But I won't because YANBU and your sister's expectations are utterly nuts!

Bluntness100 · 31/01/2020 23:04

I think it went like this

  1. Hmmm I don't think I want more plastic tat in the house
  2. I know! I'll ask mum for cash for the DC so I can spend it on me. The kids will never know.
  3. And Oh shit, - a shiny new bike for niece. The kids will be upset and ask why,
  4. Fuck, why didn't mum just give sis money too. Then they would never have known.
Jux · 31/01/2020 23:07

Goodness, she's an idiot, isn't she? She should be ashamed. Is she angling for money for the kids AND expensive presents for them? If so, she's a real CF. Your poor mum.

cstaff · 31/01/2020 23:08

@bluntness
I love the way your mind works. Funny but probably bang on the money Grin

GrumpyHoonMain · 31/01/2020 23:18

Your sister sounds as selfish as my brother. He does this type of shit a lot. From his perspective it’s because he’s struggling for money currently and is embarrassed that the rest of us aren’t. To keep the peace mum will often give him money and gifts for the kids.

Incrediblytired · 31/01/2020 23:20

Gosh how ungrateful! I’m grateful if someone buys my dd a book! Maybe my standards are all out.

I get that it’s difficult when your kids get loads of presents but the look on my mums face when my daughter receives a present way outweighs my desire to live in a tidy house. Experiences are a great shout but I personally don’t believe in teaching children to ask for cash money.

Keep us updated on this one please!

Wonkybanana · 31/01/2020 23:23

Oh I do hope the sister's on MN!

copperoliver · 31/01/2020 23:38

Ring your sister up tell her to stop behaving like a spoilt fucking brat.
You don't want cash for your daughter you want presents and she will get them until you say otherwise. Tell her they all had the same amount spent on them she can't always get her own way and if she wasn't being so dam right horrible hers kids would have toys like every other kid at Christmas.
Probably just because she can't be bothered with the mess.
If she stop talking to you. I doubt it would be a great loss. X

LemonPrism · 01/02/2020 06:54

Has she replied yet?

converseandjeans · 01/02/2020 08:20

She sounds awful. Your poor Mum!

ThanosSavedMe · 01/02/2020 08:44

Hope your sister realises she was in the wrong and apologises to your mum

showmewhatyougot · 01/02/2020 09:06

Haha! Sounds like maybe the kids didn't want cash, and would have preferred physical gifts ;) and now your sister is taking that out on you DM

Ellie56 · 01/02/2020 17:05

Maybe her kids have asked why Grandma didn't buy them bikes too. And when they found out, kicked off because they would have preferred new bikes rather than "experiences". 😀

blutoo · 01/02/2020 17:23

If I was your mum I'd book myself a holiday for next Christmas and thereby avoid any future present-gate issues.

Meegeemoogee · 01/02/2020 17:25

I just voted out of curiosity to see if anyone had voted YABU. I was not surprised at all that 100% voted YANBU 😂.

Shell4429 · 01/02/2020 17:37

Wow over 2000 MNers agree that you’re not being unreasonable! Not one vote against. Therefore I don’t feel the need to comment except to say... your sister is an idiot Grin

Watisiitallaboot · 01/02/2020 17:44

YANBU. I'd love to know her star sign?

Palma1 · 01/02/2020 17:48

Your sister is behaving like a spoilt child tell her to grow up !!!!! Show her this feedback 😬

Takingshape12 · 01/02/2020 17:51

My sister is EXACTLY the same. I've started to ignore since she accused me of ruining her kids birthday by daring to loose my baby on the same day. Ignore.

Watermelontea · 01/02/2020 17:58

This has got to be the first time I’ve ever seen a poll stand at 100% YANBU.
Your sister is a cock.

starfishmummy · 01/02/2020 18:01

If I was the Gran in this there would be a shared selection box for the ungrateful kids mother kids next xmas

Diva66 · 01/02/2020 18:23

She’s a bitch. Christmas isn’t about who has the biggest stash. Personally I’d be delighted to get a selection box, a book and a craft kit for Christmas even though I’m way old 😄

EmbarrassedMum1 · 01/02/2020 18:45

Your sister needs to wind her neck in.

Wilkie1956mog · 01/02/2020 19:03

She wanted to have her cake and eat it. Very stupid and ungrateful.

Crazymaisienumber9 · 01/02/2020 19:03

Your sister is being completely unreasonable.

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