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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my sister is utterly ridiculous

224 replies

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 16:05

Older sister has two children, I have one. For Christmas / birthdays my mum has always offered to buy one larger gift for each grandchild and then always gets them each some other smaller bits and bobs (rather than just getting loads and loads of smaller toys).

My sister over the past couple of years has said she wants to cut down on the amount of toys her children have and has asked for experience type things for them instead - totally fine, nobody in the family has a problem with that, each to their own etc etc. I don’t feel like we have an overwhelming amount of toys so I’m happy for my mum to buy my DD them.

My sister this year said she didn’t want any toys buying for her children and asked my parents to give cash instead for her to spend on them at a later date. She also asked my mum to buy theatre tickets for her, husband and children (cost c. £200 for the 4 tickets) as a Christmas present. Our mum got them the tickets, transferred another £200 to my sister’s account and also got the kids a couple of things so they had something to open (Christmas pj’s, a selection box and a book and a little craft kit type thing each).

My DD got a first bike as her larger gift and then other toys, books etc.

Today my sister has gone off on one and accused my mum of favouring my DD over her children and said my mum was horrible for still buying DD gifts and that she should have just been given cash as well. Apparently if her children haven’t got gifts to physically open then DD shouldn’t be bought them either.

They spent Christmas this year with BIL’s family so it’s not even like we were all together for opening presents for her children to question why my DD got toys they didn’t get.
And my mum is always really fair about making sure things are equal between all her grandchildren so it’s not like one gets more than the other throughout the year or in terms of amounts spent.

My mum is really upset about this because she’s done exactly what my sister asked for and now been told she’s a horrible mother / grandmother for doing that.

My sister is being a dick, right? Surely you can’t say you want cash instead of gifts to open and then have a tantrum because other people had presents instead??

And quite frankly, I don’t want cash from my mum as a present for her granddaughter! My sister does and that’s fine but I know my mum likes picking out presents for DD and I don’t see how it’s reasonable to expect everyone to stop giving gifts to open just because she doesn’t want that.

AIBU??

OP posts:
MamaGee09 · 31/01/2020 18:01

Your sister is acting really ridiculous,.

If it were me I’d be asking her what is she playing at I won’t have anyone upsetting my mum and would have pulled my brother up if he acted like your sister has done,

StormTreader · 31/01/2020 18:02

Sounds to me like she wants her kids presents to be experiences for her, and shes angry that her kids might have the outrageous cheek to expect that they might actually get something for themselves for Christmas that doesnt benefit her personally.

MissConductUS · 31/01/2020 18:04

Your sister never wanted just cash. She wanted cash and presents and assumed that your mum would feel bad that there was nothing to unwrap and therefore give both.

She's just angry that her CF'ery didn't work.

HugoSpritz · 31/01/2020 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 18:08

@FourDecades I couldn’t stop myself texting but I think I was relatively diplomatic about it - just asked if there had been some crossed wires because mum seemed to think she was pissed off that DD got pressies to open when nephews got cash. No reply as yet!!

OP posts:
billy1966 · 31/01/2020 18:09

Your sister sounds like a selfish nasty, ungrateful bitch.

I would be telling her in no uncertain terms that what your mother gifts your children is none of her business and I would tell her she is a disgrace for upsetting your mother who did as she was asked and goes to such lengths to be scrupulously fair.

It certainly sounds like she want big gifts as well as money.

Cheeky vulgar woman.

I wouldn't be entertaining her in any way.

Your poor mother.

AmelieTaylor · 31/01/2020 18:12

over 900 votes 209% saying YANBU 🌷

Tell your Mum!

Doobigetta · 31/01/2020 18:13

Wow, 100% of 903 people say YANBU

AmelieTaylor · 31/01/2020 18:13

Fucking fat fingers & phone 100%

Oulu · 31/01/2020 18:13

434 votes - 100% yanbu. I dont think Ive ever seen such a clean sweep!

This really does happen quite often on MN, I'm surprised people are still surprised.

TossACoinToYourWitcher · 31/01/2020 18:20

Sounds like she assumed your DD would get cash because that is what she was dictating for her family. She sounds very spoilt and slightly unhinged.

Barbarella1 · 31/01/2020 18:25

I think the sisters pocked the cash and is now trying to cover her tracks with her children.

I know someone who does this and now her own DM tells people not to give cash as her Grandchildren won’t get it. The eldest is a teen now and has embarrassed her DM on a number of times by saying just give to my DM it’s not my present she sees it as hers.

lyralalala · 31/01/2020 18:27

She sounds like my older brother. When he decided he and his wife weren't doing Christmas and birthday presents for the adults, and weren't doing Easter Eggs for the children, anymore he was absolutely outraged when the rest of us continued doing our on thing

As the eldest sibling he had spoken and he was stunned we didn't fall in with his plans

Bargebill19 · 31/01/2020 18:28

Give your lovely mum a hug. Sadly your sister is batty and there’s probably nowt you can do except point out it is exact what she asked for.

Dragonembroidery · 31/01/2020 18:30

Your sister is an idiot.
Show this thread to your mum to make her feel better. She's been very generous.

My parents have never bought my DC anything. :( I buy my own bikes and tickets while they spend their own money. Not my choice but it gets us by. Just about.

You are lucky and should be both be grateful.

HollowTalk · 31/01/2020 18:32

@MissConductUS But her sister DID get cash and presents:

My sister this year said she didn’t want any toys buying for her children and asked my parents to give cash instead for her to spend on them at a later date. She also asked my mum to buy theatre tickets for her, husband and children (cost c. £200 for the 4 tickets) as a Christmas present. Our mum got them the tickets, transferred another £200 to my sister’s account and also got the kids a couple of things so they had something to open (Christmas pj’s, a selection box and a book and a little craft kit type thing each).

She had £200 worth of presents
£200 cash
Christmas PJs for the kids
Selection box for the kids
A little craft kit for the kids

How much more does the greedy woman want?

HollowTalk · 31/01/2020 18:32

Sorry, that should have read she had £200 worth of tickets.

Mistystar99 · 31/01/2020 18:34

She's a bellend

nixkix · 31/01/2020 18:36

1049 votes and 100% YANBU. Show your Mum that if nothing else.

eaglejulesk · 31/01/2020 18:37

Your sister is acting like an entitled spoiled brat!

midnightmisssuki · 31/01/2020 18:37

Your sister is a cunt. Sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

Topseyt · 31/01/2020 18:37

Your sister is being utterly ridiculous and I think she needs to be told that. In no uncertain terms.

She sounds very ungrateful.

SpeckledyHen · 31/01/2020 18:38

1058 and 100% Says it all OP .

LaneBoy · 31/01/2020 18:40

First time I’ve seen a 100% YANBU :o

I have nothing to add. Just agreeing she’s a total madam

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/01/2020 18:42

I also think she wanted the cash and presents. Grabby grabby.