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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my sister is utterly ridiculous

224 replies

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 16:05

Older sister has two children, I have one. For Christmas / birthdays my mum has always offered to buy one larger gift for each grandchild and then always gets them each some other smaller bits and bobs (rather than just getting loads and loads of smaller toys).

My sister over the past couple of years has said she wants to cut down on the amount of toys her children have and has asked for experience type things for them instead - totally fine, nobody in the family has a problem with that, each to their own etc etc. I don’t feel like we have an overwhelming amount of toys so I’m happy for my mum to buy my DD them.

My sister this year said she didn’t want any toys buying for her children and asked my parents to give cash instead for her to spend on them at a later date. She also asked my mum to buy theatre tickets for her, husband and children (cost c. £200 for the 4 tickets) as a Christmas present. Our mum got them the tickets, transferred another £200 to my sister’s account and also got the kids a couple of things so they had something to open (Christmas pj’s, a selection box and a book and a little craft kit type thing each).

My DD got a first bike as her larger gift and then other toys, books etc.

Today my sister has gone off on one and accused my mum of favouring my DD over her children and said my mum was horrible for still buying DD gifts and that she should have just been given cash as well. Apparently if her children haven’t got gifts to physically open then DD shouldn’t be bought them either.

They spent Christmas this year with BIL’s family so it’s not even like we were all together for opening presents for her children to question why my DD got toys they didn’t get.
And my mum is always really fair about making sure things are equal between all her grandchildren so it’s not like one gets more than the other throughout the year or in terms of amounts spent.

My mum is really upset about this because she’s done exactly what my sister asked for and now been told she’s a horrible mother / grandmother for doing that.

My sister is being a dick, right? Surely you can’t say you want cash instead of gifts to open and then have a tantrum because other people had presents instead??

And quite frankly, I don’t want cash from my mum as a present for her granddaughter! My sister does and that’s fine but I know my mum likes picking out presents for DD and I don’t see how it’s reasonable to expect everyone to stop giving gifts to open just because she doesn’t want that.

AIBU??

OP posts:
Mumbassa · 31/01/2020 18:43

Your sister is being pathetic

Tabbykitty · 31/01/2020 18:43

Or perhaps the sister has paid it in to the children's savings accounts/will put it towards items the children need or holiday treats for them later in the year. Perhaps after 9 years she's come to the point she sees the grandparents overspending on stuff as an enormous waste of money.

I'm also wondering why so many think a 9 and 7 year old would be jealous of a toddler bike.

Aderyn19 · 31/01/2020 18:44

I think £200 on theatre tickets, plus £200 for grandchildren's presents, plus whatever ££ spent on the extra little gifts is a hell of a lot of money for GPs to be spending on one family unit. Especially when you consider that the sister isn't an only child and they are also buying for the OPs family unit and all the other people they buy for.
Sister is being really greedy and I think your parents should dial right back until she learns to appreciate them rather than take them for granted.

aroundtheworldyet · 31/01/2020 18:44

She wants money and presents. That’s what she’s aiming for in this.

NeverGotMyPuppy · 31/01/2020 18:46

Absolutely hilarious behaviour. You cant dictate what someone gets someone else!

woooooo · 31/01/2020 18:46

Who the hell does she think she is dictating what other people should get for Christmas? You and your mum need to tell her to grow up and mind her own business. And I'm being polite there!

SleepWarrior · 31/01/2020 18:48

Does she think she asked your parents for all grandchildren to be given experiences instead of gifts (unreasonable in itself), and that your parents have snuck in an extra bike for your child on top of giving all the same theatre stuff that hers got? That's the only reason I can see why she might feel justified in being upset. Otherwise it's just Shock

Sally872 · 31/01/2020 18:48

Like your message asking her about crossed wires. Direct but polite. Your sister is very unreasonable.

Changeembrace · 31/01/2020 18:51

It says a lot about how much disrespect your sister has for your mother.

Your mother sounds a little... limp.

CoraPirbright · 31/01/2020 18:55

Fuck me - I had missed that your sister had been given £200 worth of tickets PLUS £200 cash PLUS smaller presents to open. Thank you Hollowtalk for highlighting that - I had thought it was “just” the tickets. The way your sister is behaving is frankly outrageous. What a spoilt, grabby, entitled bitch she is. I feel so sorry for your mum - she did exactly what was asked of her (well, much more actually) and is now getting it in the neck for it. Words fail me.

Retroflex · 31/01/2020 19:03

You're definitely not being unreasonable @rosieposie13, but your sister is!

A massive unanimous vote to prove it!

To think my sister is utterly ridiculous
newbingepisodes · 31/01/2020 19:04

What's her reply? What's her reply?

Bamboo15 · 31/01/2020 19:13

She’s being absolutely ridiculous. 100%.

Jux · 31/01/2020 19:15

Well, I'd just be telling my sister not to be a dick.

Ellie56 · 31/01/2020 19:20

Your sister is a twat.
She got what she asked for. She doesn't get to dictate what everyone else gets too!

Bluntness100 · 31/01/2020 19:24

I wonder if she worries that her kids will ask why they got no presents when your daughter got a bike. Does she even tell them about the money? I'm guessing not, so they think they got nothing. What's she done with thr money?

This could be the issue.

Smidge001 · 31/01/2020 19:27

I have never seen a unanimous thread before! 1301 votes all saying yanbu.
Says it all.

Pollyhops · 31/01/2020 19:28

Wow! Your sister is not for real.

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 19:32

@newbingepisodes the upshot is she thinks she’s justified in being annoyed because “it’s unfair” that her children might realise they missed out on presents and be upset. I’ve pointed out it’s what she asked for so she doesn’t get to be a knob to our mum about it and needs to apologise to her and that maybe she should ask her kids which option they’d prefer in future rather than making a decision herself if she’s that worried they might be upset about getting money for days out vs things to play with.

OP posts:
PotteryLady · 31/01/2020 19:33

She will probably try and justify her ridiculous behaviour when she texts back.

mummyway · 31/01/2020 19:34

Your sister sounds like a horrid person. She got exactly what she wanted and is still making your mum feel bad. That's really rubbish of her. And how dare she get a say in what kind of gifts your daughter should get from her grandparents.
Your sister is massively in the wrong

MadamShazam · 31/01/2020 19:35

YADNBU. Your sister is a selfish, grabby fucker.

EducatingArti · 31/01/2020 19:36

But they haven't missed out on presents. They had the gift of a theatre trip as requested.

TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY · 31/01/2020 19:39

you not your mother needs to tell her to wind her neck in

she doesn't get to dictate what happens in your house
so in the future kindly keep it out

JamesBlonde1 · 31/01/2020 19:43

Tell her to sod off and stop being controlling and trying to dictate. It's not attractive.

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