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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my sister is utterly ridiculous

224 replies

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 16:05

Older sister has two children, I have one. For Christmas / birthdays my mum has always offered to buy one larger gift for each grandchild and then always gets them each some other smaller bits and bobs (rather than just getting loads and loads of smaller toys).

My sister over the past couple of years has said she wants to cut down on the amount of toys her children have and has asked for experience type things for them instead - totally fine, nobody in the family has a problem with that, each to their own etc etc. I don’t feel like we have an overwhelming amount of toys so I’m happy for my mum to buy my DD them.

My sister this year said she didn’t want any toys buying for her children and asked my parents to give cash instead for her to spend on them at a later date. She also asked my mum to buy theatre tickets for her, husband and children (cost c. £200 for the 4 tickets) as a Christmas present. Our mum got them the tickets, transferred another £200 to my sister’s account and also got the kids a couple of things so they had something to open (Christmas pj’s, a selection box and a book and a little craft kit type thing each).

My DD got a first bike as her larger gift and then other toys, books etc.

Today my sister has gone off on one and accused my mum of favouring my DD over her children and said my mum was horrible for still buying DD gifts and that she should have just been given cash as well. Apparently if her children haven’t got gifts to physically open then DD shouldn’t be bought them either.

They spent Christmas this year with BIL’s family so it’s not even like we were all together for opening presents for her children to question why my DD got toys they didn’t get.
And my mum is always really fair about making sure things are equal between all her grandchildren so it’s not like one gets more than the other throughout the year or in terms of amounts spent.

My mum is really upset about this because she’s done exactly what my sister asked for and now been told she’s a horrible mother / grandmother for doing that.

My sister is being a dick, right? Surely you can’t say you want cash instead of gifts to open and then have a tantrum because other people had presents instead??

And quite frankly, I don’t want cash from my mum as a present for her granddaughter! My sister does and that’s fine but I know my mum likes picking out presents for DD and I don’t see how it’s reasonable to expect everyone to stop giving gifts to open just because she doesn’t want that.

AIBU??

OP posts:
lifeisgoodmostofthetime · 31/01/2020 16:20

Your sister sounds like a control freak.

PinkCrayon · 31/01/2020 16:22

Your sister sounds really entitled.
I feel for your mum.
Yanbu

Disfordarkchocolate · 31/01/2020 16:22

She's being very controlling over something that is nothing to do with her.

CalmdownJanet · 31/01/2020 16:22

Have you called her out on it?

MouthBreathingRage · 31/01/2020 16:24

I’m honestly at a loss as to why she thinks she’s somehow hard done by

Then ask her why she thinks its unfair. Let her try and actually reason it out verbally to you, maybe the penny will drop about how childish shes being expecting you to follow her way of getting a gift from your parents. Or tell her that next hear you will take any cash gift, buy gifts 'from granny' and stick them under the tree regardless. Oh, and tell her to bloody apologise! She's been so ungrateful, if it wasn't for the grandchildren I think your mum would be well in her rights to tell her to get stuffed on any future gifts.

foamrolling · 31/01/2020 16:25

She certainly has been Spoilt hasn't she? And doesn't it show! Your poor mum. 2 out of 3 of my kids had money for Xmas and the other had a present. Everyone was happy.

JKScot4 · 31/01/2020 16:25

Your sister got £400 worth of gifts be it tickets/cash but grudges your DD getting a gift when her and her DC weren’t there? She’s a loony and tell her that.

mathanxiety · 31/01/2020 16:28

Your sister is an entitled ingrate.

Nothing2doooooo · 31/01/2020 16:29

My sister is being a dick, right?

She sure is!

AIBU?

You most definitely are not!

Before I got to the part about her having a strop over your DD's gift, I was already thinking your sister sounds a bit like a PITA. The tantrum throws her right over the edge to possibly crazy town.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 31/01/2020 16:30

And actually the amount of money being spent is obscene

mummmy2017 · 31/01/2020 16:31

You know what has happened.
Your Sister's children have seen or heard about the bike.
The children have kicked off, and your sister doesn't want to be the bad guy.

abstractprojection · 31/01/2020 16:31

Your sister is incredibly ungrateful and being mean

GCAcademic · 31/01/2020 16:33

Wow, someone has voted YABU. Explain yourself, whoever you are!

I feel so sorry for your poor mum. Who the fuck behaves like this after receiving all that cash?

Nothing2doooooo · 31/01/2020 16:33

Your poor mum though. She may feel the need to bend over even more to accommodate her. Though she did create that 'monster'.

woodhill · 31/01/2020 16:35

How entitled of your ds

Chickenitalia · 31/01/2020 16:35

How old are the kids? Could one of her kids have complained about an item your dd has that they would like, and because it was a gift from granny they’ve moaned at your sister and she’s blamed you/granny? I can’t see any way in which this situation is reasonable!

I would probably advise her to give her head a wobble and go buy her kids some gifts with the money.

Drum2018 · 31/01/2020 16:35

Your sister is an ungrateful bitch and if I were your mother I'd not bother buying for her again. I would also buy something of my choosing for her kids from now on and not ask what she'd prefer for them. If she was my sister I'd be calling her to tell her she needs to cop the fuck on and that she needs to apologise to your mother.

Standrewsschool · 31/01/2020 16:36

Your sister is being an idiot. She can’t make decesions for your family.

Whynosnowyet · 31/01/2020 16:36

Does your dsis pass this money off as her own or do the dc know its dgm that is paying for these post Xmas treats?

JollyAndBright · 31/01/2020 16:37

I wonder if she thinks you’re DD’s gifts had a higher monetary value that the money she received and that’s why she’s jealous/ kicking up a fuss.

rosieposie13 · 31/01/2020 16:38

She has form for being a bit snobby about brands etc but isn’t usually such an out and out twat. It’s all very WTF.

I’m tempted to ask why she’s being such a twat in the family WhatsApp group. But I’ll restrain myself to just sending her a message to ask what the hell is going on.

OP posts:
CupoTeap · 31/01/2020 16:38

She's a cow who needs to grow up

antwacky · 31/01/2020 16:38

Wow! I feel sorry for your mum, your sister is acting like spoilt, mardy arse mare.

JKScot4 · 31/01/2020 16:39

Pop a link to this thread in yr whatsapp group 😉

DarkDarkNight · 31/01/2020 16:40

Yes your Sister is being a massive Dick! She wants to have her cake and eat it too. If she wants experiences and cash fair enough as long as your Mum is happy with that. Your Sister has no right to dictate what your Daughter gets off her Grandma for Christmas.

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