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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL insisting on fruit cake for wedding

751 replies

WrackspurtsAndNargles62442 · 31/01/2020 08:56

Yes, another MIL (-to-be) thread, sorry. MIL does, I believe, have her heart in the right place but can be quite overbearing/interfering. This has been particularly apparent as we've been planning our wedding e.g. saying 'don't invite this distant family member you've never met' as if it should have crossed our minds to (it didn't), or bumping into an old, no longer in contact friend of DP and telling him to expect an invite! She came to a wedding fair with us and proceeded to point out all the stools we should go to, who to speak to and not etc. I deliberately didn't invite her to come wedding dress shopping (though I know she expected to be) because I knew no-one else would get a word in edgeways and I'd be pressured into trying on dresses I didn't like.
Anyway, the latest thing is the cake. We've found a lovely lady who makes gorgeous looking cakes and she's coming round tonight with samples for us to taste! We've asked to try flavours we like ourselves but of course also considered what will be popular with guests. One thing we've said we don't want, however, is fruit cake - neither of us like it and the vast majority of our guests don't either - the exception being MIL and a couple of grandparents. Obviously we don't want to pay for something that caters to only a few people (especially as I'm sure they would be fine with something else). MIL has now said she is going to go to the supermarket and buy a fruitcake for guests to have on the day. DP has 'allowed' this to, in his words, keep her happy.
AIBU to feel really annoyed about this? I know it seems fairly trivial on the surface but to me it's a symbol of her interference and inability to let us decide things for ourselves. Would IBU to tell her we don't want her buying a cheap supermarket cake when we're having a lovely one made? Or would you just let this one go for the sake of peace?

OP posts:
Punkyfish3000 · 07/02/2020 20:51

@onionface hear hear, the providing fruitcake at request of MIL (or anyone else) is in no way comparable to ensuring the wedding cake is special diet friendly! I had guests on the invite list for my 21st who had wheat allergy and dairy allergy and ensured my birthday cake was wheat and dairy free and my dad, being the asshat he is known to be, insisted I should’ve got something separate for them when it would’ve just added additional expense!

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