It’s rude to take one look at the dinner I have cooked then get lots of condiments for it.

[Wasail]

I spend time preparing a meal that is tasty and balanced, H takes one look at it, doesn’t taste it or anything, just gets his collection of condiments from the fridge and smothers his dinner.
We are talking things like truffle mayo ( he is a bit wanky with his condiment collection) so things that will fundamentally change the flavour of the meal. And no, I didn’t make fish and chips. ketchup or mayo, not both, would be acceptable in that case.
I think it’s unbelievably rude of him, he thinks it’s perfectly fine.

I appreciate that fish is not everyone’s taste but he claims that it is his

But that doesn’t mean he likes every single way fish can be prepared or presented. You’ve had plenty of commentary on the cheese sauce, so you must know by now that combination is not to everyone’s taste.

Also fish is a tricky thing to cook well. And that’s counfounded by the fact that not everyone likes it cooked in the way that it ‘should’ be. My DB will only eat fish that would be considered overdone by most people.

The bottom line is he prefers it with the sauces. You can try to reason him out if this, but it’s not going to change what he actually enjoys.

Also fish is a tricky thing to cook well. And that’s counfounded by the fact that not everyone likes it cooked in the way that it ‘should’ be.

Let’s not lose sight of the fact that we’re talking about someone who smothers his food in highly processed sauces full of sugar and salt. Does that sound like someone who gives two shits about how fish should be cooked?

Where did I say that?
If I cooked food that someone didn’t even bother to taste before smothering it in sugar- and salt-laden sauce, I wouldn’t bother cooking for them again, as it would obviously be a waste of time for both parties

Its the impression i get.
The talk of thought out and pleasant flavors to me says "ive put so much effort in, how dare you alter it to suit your taste" says you more out looking for praise than wanting your family to enjoy the meal.
The flavors being pleasant is subjective. People know what they like and dislike so why get annoyed if they tailor a meal to suit their tastes? Especially in their own home

Does that sound like someone who gives two shits about how fish should be cooked?

Texture is very different to taste. However I was also making the point that the DH might prefer it cooked ‘badly’.

As I keep saying, no amount of reasoning him out of it will change what he actually enjoys.

Does that sound like someone who gives two shits about how fish should be cooked?

way things are cooked change the texture, bad texture can be seriously off putting
I dont eat bananas or cooked peas due to texture alone

Again, not what the OP said her DH does. She said he smothers it in sauce without tasting it first, so how can he possibly know whether that will help him enjoy it when he doesn’t know what it tastes like without the sauce?

By the time someone has reached adulthood they usually have a pretty good idea of whether some untried something will taste better with their condiments of choice.

Just because they like truffle mayo or whatever, doesn't mean they suddenly lose the ability to appreciate well cooked fish.

And for all we know, fish with cheese sauce and all his condiments may be op's dh's favourite dish. Why would he want chicken nuggets, chips and truffle mayo?

I once visited a friend’s house when o was young and the whole family would slather their meals with tomato sauce. It turned my stomach and I think they thought I was odd for eating my lasagna without the sauce

So if you had prepared a delicious dinner where you’d thought really carefully about how everything tasted and what would be pleasant for your guests to eat, you’d be happy if someone asked for truffle mayo and proceeded to smother their food with it before they’d even tasted it

Of course I'd be happy. Why not? I don't think it is at all rude to use whatever condiments they wish for. However, I would certainly think it rude of the cook or host (usually me in this house) to get sniffy about the condiments or try to dictate which ones are permitted.

I have never tried truffle mayonnaise. I now have a mental note to look for some next time I am in the supermarket.

I did say I am uncouth.

@Topseyt I'm never letting my dc visit your house 😉. They must never know there are houses where the condiments run like streams.
Actually now they would ok but in early primary school this knowledge could have caused chaos.

My real bug-bear is salt. I have no issue with people who put salt on chips etc which is expected, but when people cover a meal in salt before they’ve actually tasted it and can possibly know how much salt they’d need to get it to their taste.

I have to watch my salt intake because of a medical condition and the amount of salt that is already in food is horrifying, and that’s before you put a handful of it on the meal.

E.g. a stock cube contains a 3rd of your recommended daily salt allowance,. .

It's funny how people think you should like everything you eat. What happened to being grateful for someone cooking for you and eating it because, well, it is going to offer your body fuel and isn't going to kill you!

I don't always like what husband cooks but I eat it because he's gone to a lot of effort and we only shit it out the next day anyway!

It's funny how people think you should like everything you eat. What happened to being grateful for someone cooking for you and eating it because, well, it is going to offer your body fuel and isn't going to kill you!

He lives with her.

How unbelievable grim to expect him to choke down food for ‘fuel’ because it ‘isn’t going to kill him’, on a regular basis.

Many of us get pleasure from food (though I’m guessing you don’t, from your post)

It's funny how people think you should like everything you eat. What happened to being grateful for someone cooking for you and eating it because, well, it is going to offer your body fuel and isn't going to kill you!

If your husband was the bed maker in your house and regularly put on bed sheets that made you feel hot and clammy all night would you just suck it up and be grateful he made the bed and it isn’t going to kill you?

How unbelievable grim to expect him to choke down food for ‘fuel’ because it ‘isn’t going to kill him’, on a regular basis. surely though it would be better if he was just honest and said that he didn’t like x or y rather than making a passive aggressive gesture by smothering it in something out of the fridge.

I am a keen cook. But I know that it stands to reason there will be some things which one of my family don’t like. I would far rather they just said so then I can take account of that fact than smothered my cooking in sauce to get rid of the taste.

When I cook I like people to enjoy what I’ve cooked. If they don’t then I don’t cook that dish again...

surely though it would be better if he was just honest and said that he didn’t like x or y rather than making a passive aggressive gesture by smothering it in something out of the fridge.

Maybe he does like it with the sauces though. 🤷‍♀️

In which case, the OP could make her peace with that and everyone is happy.

It’s hard to say. I’d love him to make an appearance.

Here’s a strange thought but maybe as an adult he is able to think “I know I will enjoy this meal more with some mayonnaise added” I really can’t see why that is a big issue (said as the one who by choice does most cooking and who has a partner who will often add his sauce of choice before starting to eat)

It reminds me of a scene from the t.v. show, 'Friday Night Dinner'

Jim finally gets an invitation to Friday night dinner in his Jewish neighbour's house. (Which he's been angling for.) He then makes a big deal out of slathering his meal in vinegar etc. The host asks, 'is it nice ?' To which he replies, 'it's nice NOW, Jackie.'

I slather every roast in mint sauce. And I’m the cook!

I don’t see it as rude , more like odd.
My dh puts ketchup on his roast and branston pickle on his fried eggs.. Grim.
My dd has mint jelly on every roast ,not just lamb .
It’s however people like their food which is fine if not a little weird

19 pages for condiments and I’m adding to it 🤣 I can understand you feel that the effort made and type/quality of food calls for no condiments.
I can also understand your husband loves condiments on his food. If he enjoys it with or without them then who cares.
My husband loves condiments, chilli flakes etc and I can’t really imagine thinking I should dictate what he adds to his food. I certainly wouldn’t like him telling me off for adding mounds of mint jelly to my Sunday lunch 🤤

Sounds a bit cheesy but I’m having a bit of a shitty time at the min-enjoy each other’s company and chill out-life is unpredictable so try not to add stress where it’s perhaps not needed.

@FizzyIce exactly the same timing on mentioning mint jelly-your daughter has good taste 😋

@Oilyoilyoilgob she has it on sausages too
I am definitely a condiment/sauce person .
I have to have something ‘wet’ with my dinner .

Some of these serious reactions are hilarious! It's a tongue-in-cheek post, the op would've had something to say about her hubby's condiment violations a lot sooner 😂

Oh, on Linda McCartney veggie sausages it’s the best @FizzyIce!

I love a ‘wet’ dish too, anything dry I NEED a sauce of some kind. My parents regularly mock me for how many bottles and jars we have. Nando’s perinaise is always a winner with actifry chips or actifry roast potatoes 🤤

Chuckling at some people saying it’s not needed if the meal is good-think we’re both good cooks with a great repertoire but I still love the option of condiments, it’s a lonely table without them 😁