It’s rude to take one look at the dinner I have cooked then get lots of condiments for it.

[Wasail]

I spend time preparing a meal that is tasty and balanced, H takes one look at it, doesn’t taste it or anything, just gets his collection of condiments from the fridge and smothers his dinner.
We are talking things like truffle mayo ( he is a bit wanky with his condiment collection) so things that will fundamentally change the flavour of the meal. And no, I didn’t make fish and chips. ketchup or mayo, not both, would be acceptable in that case.
I think it’s unbelievably rude of him, he thinks it’s perfectly fine.

So I'm wrong then, Family, because I don't agree with you and don't give a fuck how people season their food? back atcha.

MN is obsessed with what other people eat

So true, but it usually takes the form of what strangers eat on a train/their desk at work.

Or other people’s DC’s atrocious diets.

Well I think that the courtesy owed to the cook is the same. It is rude, and can be extremely passive aggressive.

I think it's way more passive aggressive to cook a meal for someone you know they won't enjoy and expect a lot of congratulations and fawning over it. It must be obvious DH has similar taste in food to a 3 year old. So don't pretend you're slaving over dinner as a nice gesture to him, you're doing it because YOU want that particular meal. You know full well he'd be just as happy with something that took 10 minutes to slap together. Cook the meals you want, spend the amount of time you're happy to spend cooking it and let DH enjoy it the way he wants in peace.

So I'm wrong then, Family

Where did I post that?

OP, think how liberating it could be for you to cook exactly what you want and give your DH a bowl of plain rice or pasta.

Or as a special treat, fish fingers or a plate of chips.

I really don't think making him pretend to enjoy your cooking will make you feel better in the long run. It's annoying that you enjoy spending time cooking but you're married to someone who would be just as happy with egg and chips. Him pretending he loves your cheesy fish won't take away the frustration because you'll know he's faking it and he'll be frustrated because he doesn't get to enjoy his food. It's pointless.

My husband does this a lot with hot sauce to be honest I don't care if he wants to change the flavour of the food and have everything taste the same then he can crack on. I enjoy what I cook and so do the children without anything extra.

Or other people’s DC’s atrocious diets.

Yes! Anyone who doesn't behave exactly as they do is fat, unhealthy, going to die early of some horrid disease, has no 'taste' or tastebuds or eats like a toddler, deserves to be judged, scorned and sneered at.

Yes! Anyone who doesn't behave exactly as they do is fat, unhealthy, going to die early of some horrid disease, has no 'taste' or tastebuds or eats like a toddler, deserves to be judged, scorned and sneered at.

That’s some extrapolation there.

So if you had prepared a delicious dinner where you’d thought really carefully about how everything tasted and what would be pleasant for your guests to eat, you’d be happy if someone asked for truffle mayo and proceeded to smother their food with it before they’d even tasted it?

So you only cook for praise? I want the people to enjoy food so if they enjoy it with extra sauces, so be it.
Delicious is subjective, what you find delicious the OPs DH may already know what he needs on it to make it to his taste.
Given it was fish in cheese sauce who could blame him, there aint enough sauce in the world to make that edible

I dont get why so many think forcing down food you dont like the taste of is the height of etiquette. Its a power trip to expect and demand that of people

I prepare a meal for people to enjoy. If adding a bit of mayonnaise helps someone enjoy it then great. I accept that not everyone has the same taste as me

Given it was fish in cheese sauce who could blame him, there aint enough sauce in the world to make that edible

Hear, hear! Boak!

So you only cook for praise?

Where did I say that?

If I cooked food that someone didn’t even bother to taste before smothering it in sugar- and salt-laden sauce, I wouldn’t bother cooking for them again, as it would obviously be a waste of time for both parties.

If adding a bit of mayonnaise helps someone enjoy it then great.

Again, not what the OP said her DH does. She said he smothers it in sauce without tasting it first, so how can he possibly know whether that will help him enjoy it when he doesn’t know what it tastes like without the sauce?

So true, but it usually takes the form of what strangers eat on a train/their desk at work.

Or other people’s DC’s atrocious diets.

Yep!

Agree with people saying cook for guests to enjoy. If a bucket of ketchup makes their belly smile whilst they’re in my house then they can fill their boots. I really don’t care. My ego is not dependant on other people’s tastebuds.

If someone cooks for you regularly, you’ll have a fair idea of their abilities and whether their seasoning/flavourings are in line with your tastes.

My DH always undersalts to my taste. I don’t need to taste a dish to know that, for my palate, it needs salt.

My DH always undersalts to my taste. I don’t need to taste a dish to know that, for my palate, it needs salt.

That’s fair enough. So maybe the OP’s DH should be saying she doesn’t need to waste her time cooking for him as he’ll just have a plate of something bland which he can add his ketchup to.

So maybe the OP’s DH should be saying she doesn’t need to waste her time cooking for him as he’ll just have a plate of something bland which he can add his ketchup to

That’s up to them to decide.

However I’m not sure how her DH pretending to like what she’s cooked without extras or making a show of ‘tasting’ it every time is going to help matters.

They have different tastes. I suggest the OP gets over it.

@FamilyOfAliens

But by the sound of it DH would be perfectly happy with something bland he can add ketchup to. If you claim to have spent ages making something your guests (DH in this case) would enjoy you'd have added ketchup and mayo yourself because you know that's what he enjoys. Clearly OP hasn't done that because she hasn't made something she thinks DH will enjoy she's made something she thinks DH should enjoy despite knowing he won't enjoy it. Alternatively she's made something she personally will enjoy - which is fine but then she shouldn't resent DH for turning it into something he enjoys too.

I can't think of anything more depressing that my dinner being a meal I didn't like but was not allowed to object to because the cook had "put a look of work in".

I don't mind sucking it up and politely smiling through an unappetising meal at a dinner party, out of goodwill for a friend, but surely in my own home I should be able to have a meal that is actually tasty to me.

I used to have a boyfriend who loved making super spicy curry. The first few times I dutifully made yummy noises while eating as much of it as I could manage but once I was more comfortable in the relationship I let him know that I couldn't eat super hot food and I'd always have to add loads of yogurt to the curry to make it manageable. This invariably pissed him off as it meant I couldn't appreciate the curry as he'd cooked it and I hadn't even bothered trying it (I wasn't going to suddenly enjoy having my taste buds blown off). It also used to piss me off that he'd spend 3 hours cooking the damn thing (making an almighty mess in the kitchen for me to clean) and expected gratuitous praise for it - when really he was doing for his own benefit not mine as I'd have been much happier with a simpler meal I actually liked. Sounds like a fairly similar situation now - are you really going to all this time and effort for DH's benefit (in which case it seems like a waste of time) or for your own because you enjoy cooking and you've made a meal which matches your own tastes?

Yes if it was a one off special meal cooked by someone who doesn't cook for you often you should fake enjoyment. For someone you live and eat with day in day out you shouldn't have to fake it on a regular basis. Just eat the way you like.

I am the condiment police....... lots of rules in this house, ketchup does not exist, hp sauce only on very specific dishes, tartare is allowed on certain fish dishes but by no means all of them. Don’t even think about a blooming bottle on the table! Don’t like my rules, cook your own dinner!

Seriously though, it would bug me if an adult just smothered my food before even tasting it and for kids I think they need to develop tastes beyond ketchup for a healthy broad spectrum attitude to food. To use condiments on everything, and in order to disguise rather than enhance is a waste of your cooking time. I’d serve him up some chicken nuggets and oven chips, see if his truffle mayo does the trick on that and save yourself a heap of bother!

Thinking this through everyone in our house is allowed three things that they won't eat.
Everything else has to be eaten with good grace and politeness, (this would include not covering in other random sauces.)
It would be fine to say that you didn't love a particular part of meal but unless you had fish and or cheese on your list of don't eats you would be expected to eat it without indicating you are unhappy with it.
So if you had a new meal and realized you hated fish and cheese sauces you could ask for them to go on your no eat list after eating it.
You don't have to clear your plate, you just have to try everything.
DH 25 years ago had loads he wouldn't eat now he eats almost everything, I have one hated veg, one dc won't eat most fish and another cheese.
Everyone cooks and everyone gets thanked for making the effort to do so.

The thing is that he says he LOVES fish. He’s a pescatarian FFS!
I appreciate that fish is not everyone’s taste but he claims that it is his .